Depression is consuming me

[qube2]

I've had depression for many years. It has been fairly manageable until last year when a few events triggered a breakdown which has left me almost unable to function. I'm writing this now after 2 failed attempts at bed despite being up all last night. I barely leave my flat, I'm angry about silly little things, I have zero motivation, I don't eat or sleep very much, no medications have helped and even the psychologist that I'm seeing doesn't seem to be doing much good. I'm just not equipped to deal with this level of low. What to do?

[younggrandmother]

You are not alone!! You have found a sight that can give you support. There are so many caring people here it is unbelievable. So.. I would like to welcome you.
It is not easy dealing with depression, but it is nice to know that people do understand and are willing to listen and support you.    

[4Maddie44]

Hi, Welcome to this community where we all try to help each other.  I am so sorry to hear you are so low at the moment.  Believe you me I have been there too, many times.  I hardly ate for three months, and was consumed with aches and pains.  I hated going outy, and shut myself away.  I lost interest in everything.  Can you go back to your doctor and discuss medication?  You obviously could do with some positive help. I have had to try quite a few different medications until I found the one that worked for me.  I have had depression for many years, but have now found the medication that is helping me live a "normal" life.  

I do hope you get the support you need.

[heyjude1]

You certainly don't want to get so down that you end up in the hospital again, but, if you do you know you will need to go for crisis help at the ER.  I urge you to do this if it gets or starts to get to that point.  Depression does not go away on it's on.

Perhaps you need to see a physcharist instead of a phycologist.  A p-doc is more trained in medications and I personally believe would be more helpful for you now.  I have suffered from depression since 1985 and after non stop antidpressants, my depression took on different and more severe symptoms and I was rediagnoised as Bipolar.  I have gone thru numerous antidepressants over the years.  I finally have found a p-doc that approaches my MI agressively.  I have been switched to different medications every 2 weeks until we finally found the correct "cocktail" of medication to treat my symptoms.  I am currently taking 300 mg. of Effexor XR, 20 mg. of Celexa, 30 mg. of Risperdal and a take Trazadone when I cannot sleep.  I just pulled myself out of a 7 month deep deprssion after hving a bipolar episode.  I feel so much better.  It feels so good to pull yourself out of that pit of darkness and a world of negativity.  

I encourage you to seek out a p-doc for help and I encourage you to go to the ER if you are facing a crisis.  God bless you for speedy recovery from depression.  Don't give up...there is hope and help for you.

[qube2]

Thanks for the comments. I've only ever been offered two types of SSRI's those being Citalopram and Fluoxetine. It's been that way for a friend of mine who also has depression, like that's all the doctors seem comfortable prescribing. I've pushed for other treatments from my GP on many occasions and all I seem to get is reluctance. Meanwhile I'm stuck on benefits and barely able to make ends meet, having times when I just don't know what to do with myself and everything seems so pointless. To be honest I think there's a chance that I may be bipolar, I don't really know for sure but it seems to fit. Perhaps I need to book an appointment to see my GP and  try to do some pushing as it were. Once again, many thanks for the comments and kind words, I wish that I'd found this site last year.

[younggrandmother]

If your Doctor is being reluctant it might be time to get a 2nd opinion. Some doctors think it is overkill, but they don't have to live with the problem. If his or her treatment is not working then maybe you need some fresh ears. Please know that we are here for you. Thing will get better, it just takes time until then you have US.  

[younggrandmother]

If your Doctor is being reluctant it might be time to get a 2nd opinion. Some doctors think it is overkill, but they don't have to live with the problem. If his or her treatment is not working then maybe you need some fresh ears. Please know that we are here for you. Thing will get better, it just takes time until then you have US.  

[heyjude1]

I was wondering myslef if you could be Bipolar.  I suffered from depression for years only to begin to have other symptoms; mania, rages, racing thoughts, etc.  I was diagoised as Bipolar.  I don't know if it was a misdiagnois or if it progressed but it happened.  

As far as benefits, the government funds a programs in the US for uninsured or low income people.  Please google national mental health services to find information for your area.  I live in TX and belong to a funded mental health service and see a p-doc and therapist and get free antidepressants and mood stabilizers.  I am living off SSDI and have not health coverage and cannot afford a p-doc.  I really think you will have better results with a p-doc.  Celexa and Prozac are good medications but not necessary what works for you, obviously or you would not be in such a depression.  I went thru  many antidepressants and mood stabilizers over the last 25 yrs.  Some work for awhile, some work for a longer time and some don't work at all..A p-doc will know how to treat you and possibly send you to therapy to learn to understand how to handle your depression.  Best of luck to you, I hope you get to see  a p-doc soon.  If I can help you, please send me a message.  Thanks, Jude

[qube2]

I'm in the UK. I'm on something called income support (benefit) which entitles me to free treatment on the NHS so I suppose there's no excuse really, apart from lack of motivation to even help myself. Just out of curiosity what is a 'p-doc'?

[heyjude1]

Oh, it is short for physcharist.  

[4Maddie44]

Hi, I live in Dorset in England.  My doctors have tried various medications until they found the right one for me.  I am surprised your GP is so little help.  You can ask to be referred to a psychiatrist who can prescribe anti-depressants that may suit you better.  A psychologist can only give you "talking treatment."  If you are up to it, press your GP for more help.  Is there anyone who can go with you for an appointment to speak up for you?  I found this helped me when I was unable to help myself.  Also I have called doctor out when I was too ill with depression to visit surgery.  In USA patients are unable to do this.  We are lucky we have NHS.  Take advantage of this.

I do hope you get the help you need soon.  

[Mike5709]

Greetings, I have struggled with Treatment Resistant Depression for years. I have been through numerous medications and therapies. I did change doctors a number of months ago and I have also begun to meet with a therapist. (Feel free to check out my journal for some insight into my journey)

I'm sharing this to let you know that you are not alone with the challenge. More importantly however I want you to know that there are always options and new things we can try.

My belief that I will find a solution comes and goes however I am going to continue to search even if I don't feel confident I will find an answer.

I will keep you in my thoughts and hope you find your way. You are worth it.