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Avatar universal

Do I have depression?

I am 15 going on 16, i have always been shy, but since 6th grade I have gained lots of weight and have lost all self esteem I have had bad grades before but I usually could handle school but now that I'm in 10th grade I want to drop out I don't like doing anything I used to do and have had suicidel thoughts but never had cut myself or have tried to kill myself I don't want my friends or family to know so when they ask I brush it off like "haha no why would I have depression". But I can't sleep at night I overeat a lot and I cry a lot.. I have mood swings and am ALWAYS crabby. My family has noticed that I'm different but they have not noticed that I have depression or might have it I don't want them to think I want attention. I have anxiety about going to school and spending time with friends, I really want a boyfriend so I have someone to love me for who I am but I feel to fat and ugly to be myself... What do I do?
4 Responses
Avatar universal
I think you need to talk to a psychologist and see if he or she thinks you have depression.  Whether you do or not, you're not happy with your choices and you're not doing what you know you need to do to be healthy and successful, so it would be good to see if you can find out why.
1 Comments
thanks I could but I'm going to in private because I don't want anyone close to me to know and feel like they have to be always watching me....
Avatar universal
I think that kind of thinking isn't helpful for you.  Why would they be watching you?  And why would you care?  Now, I know you do care, I'm just saying, anyone who you should care about will want you to be healthy and be supportive.  Anyone who doesn't isn't worth your time anyway.  
1415482 tn?1459702714
Hi...so, high school can do a lot to a person, most persons seem to forget this. It is so easy to kind of fall through the cracks and become so lost in a sea of criticism and to become entangled with warped ideas of what is considered beautiful. I think the issue you face has more to do with self/body image rather than being depressed. The feelings of sadness might be a symptom of a bigger issue you face, which is how you perceive yourself. I want to stress how essential it is for you to get into the habit of shutting out what everyone else thinks of you from this moment so that it is not carried on into your adult life. It is also important that you acknowledge the people who love you and care for you and lean on them. That is what they are there for. I am sure they would prefer to shower you with love and reassure you of your worth on those days that feel so dark than to have you harm yourself.

Also, do not become so consumed with finding 'someone' who 'loves you for you', The only person who can truly love you for you, is YOU and when you love yourself and you project confidence and show just how truly valuable you are, then you will see how people become attracted to your light.

Wishing you happiness and peace,

Anna
Avatar universal
Thanks that really got me thinking..
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