Aa
confused
can anyone tell me what the symptoms of moderant depression ,i am on 150mg of lustral sertraline,i cant sleep i have put a lot of weight on iam suicidal at times i dont go out with my husband not even for a meal,i get so hurt if someone says something i dont like, it could be something or nothing but i hurt,i even cut myself if i cant cope with anger,my two children died of suicide and my world is falling apart bit by bit im so lonely without them here with me my husband and other son are still with me but i still feel so lonely ,my shrink told me i have moderant depression.
hi florena ive just sat at my laptop and read what you wrote to me,my heart is breaking after reading it ,i can see you sitting on your dads lap and your dad crying ,i can see you standing in the middle of your two sisters ,i know florena you are trying to get through to me, and your doing a good job at it.i don't want my son to go through more pain ,i know if i died he would kill himself as well ,i know it would destroy him and my husband to,but im so unhappy florena i am doing my best to be here for them just like you ,i am giving what is left of my life to them ,can that work can i give my life to them and live a very unhappy life ,will my mind let me do that ,its funny you mention rain and sun,because my son was burred in the rain and my daughter was burred in the sun,do you think that is some kind of sine,are they trying to tell me something by you mention rain and sun ,aw i think i been silly here who am i fooling ,florena i think your thinking more towards my son and what he will go through because of it happen to you when you were a little girl and that's ok i will do my best by him its just when i get that feeling i would be better of dead ,what will i do ,i just get tired holding it to myself all the time .
Hi again Bell,
I have two sisters. One sister is older than me and the other is younger than me.
The night my mother died, she left my oldest sister to watch for us two younger ones. My oldest sister has always felt she had to take care of us, I have always felt lost and my little sister doesn't want to believe the fact that our mother killed herself. Our understandings are from those points of view - the roles that we had the first time after our mother left.
The strongest that is in me still, is how I sat on my father's lap the two following days, crying because he was crying. I only understood that mom would never return. I was so young that I grew up knowing that there would always be a void in my heart where she was supposed to be, but another woman did bravely enough try to fill the mother-role in our family. It worked out pretty well, but us three sisters still have that void. No one can take the place of someone else.
I did myself sit by the lake a late late night, wandered away from my family (husband and daughter) wondering how it would be to never go back, how it had been if they weren't burdened with me. I'm very glad that I took those steps back and returned home to the warm bed. I soaked in a hot bath for at least half an hour to even get my body-temperature up to normal. I was so close to giving up that the only thing that changed my mind was: "How is my daughter going to deal with my death?"
Knowing how my depression worked in me - it was very much in chemical balance in my body but also the power of thought - I did to on extent understand how it had worked in my mother all those years ago.
A moderate depression was what I had while I was waiting to get in with the psychologist. A mild depression is what I have now. If I felt that I could go through a winter-season without medications I would of course have done that, but to be honest: My husband feels safer knowing that I do take antidepressants. Now this coming winter I'm ready to try again, with a close follow-up from the psychologist. It is dreadful to go through it alone, and I guess it is so for you too.
I hope that me sharing this is of some help. There is hope no matter how hopeless everything seems to be. There are always some reasons to smile, a moment where you feel you don't even think about the past and always someone that understands at least a little bit.
How is it the saying goes? The sun always comes up after the rain?
Florena
I have two sisters. One sister is older than me and the other is younger than me.
The night my mother died, she left my oldest sister to watch for us two younger ones. My oldest sister has always felt she had to take care of us, I have always felt lost and my little sister doesn't want to believe the fact that our mother killed herself. Our understandings are from those points of view - the roles that we had the first time after our mother left.
The strongest that is in me still, is how I sat on my father's lap the two following days, crying because he was crying. I only understood that mom would never return. I was so young that I grew up knowing that there would always be a void in my heart where she was supposed to be, but another woman did bravely enough try to fill the mother-role in our family. It worked out pretty well, but us three sisters still have that void. No one can take the place of someone else.
I did myself sit by the lake a late late night, wandered away from my family (husband and daughter) wondering how it would be to never go back, how it had been if they weren't burdened with me. I'm very glad that I took those steps back and returned home to the warm bed. I soaked in a hot bath for at least half an hour to even get my body-temperature up to normal. I was so close to giving up that the only thing that changed my mind was: "How is my daughter going to deal with my death?"
Knowing how my depression worked in me - it was very much in chemical balance in my body but also the power of thought - I did to on extent understand how it had worked in my mother all those years ago.
A moderate depression was what I had while I was waiting to get in with the psychologist. A mild depression is what I have now. If I felt that I could go through a winter-season without medications I would of course have done that, but to be honest: My husband feels safer knowing that I do take antidepressants. Now this coming winter I'm ready to try again, with a close follow-up from the psychologist. It is dreadful to go through it alone, and I guess it is so for you too.
I hope that me sharing this is of some help. There is hope no matter how hopeless everything seems to be. There are always some reasons to smile, a moment where you feel you don't even think about the past and always someone that understands at least a little bit.
How is it the saying goes? The sun always comes up after the rain?
Florena
no I'm not getting the right treatment my d.r is very good with me i don't think i would still be here only for him ,he did his job by sending me to see the psychiatrist .im sorry to say i will never go to another psychiatrist again.all i know is i told her how i felt at the time and she turned her back on me .i have friends here ,and there are keeping me going for now,its not that easy finding people who beleive what you have to say i know ive tryed,what i couldnt understand is why did a psychiatrist not beleive me .since my children died i dont care anymore about liveing but i am trying to be here for my younger son and she knew that.do you know its not easy to go from one to the other and tell them all the how your feeling but i did ,she also told i had moderate depression ,
Namaste,
It appears you're not getting the treatment you need.
I don't know how your health care system works, but you need to find a psychiatrist who is not only knowledgable, but compassionate. Yoour condition is serious and should not be taken lightly.
Do what you can to find the help you need. Your persistence will pay off if you can just maintain your composure, until such time as you're with a proper doctor and on the proper medications.
In the interim, make the best use you can of friends, family, support groups, individual or group therapy or any other avenue of support.
Things do get better!
Michael
It appears you're not getting the treatment you need.
I don't know how your health care system works, but you need to find a psychiatrist who is not only knowledgable, but compassionate. Yoour condition is serious and should not be taken lightly.
Do what you can to find the help you need. Your persistence will pay off if you can just maintain your composure, until such time as you're with a proper doctor and on the proper medications.
In the interim, make the best use you can of friends, family, support groups, individual or group therapy or any other avenue of support.
Things do get better!
Michael
thank you for your answer but what you didn't know and ill tell you now because you've got back to me is i have been to see my g.p. and have told him how i was feeling out straight then he asked me if i would see a psychiatrist and talk to her ,i did i went to her for 5 mounts ,i told her about my suicidal thoughts and she told me they will always be with me ,i went to the day hospital for one week and that was that .she then handed me back over to my g.p.suicidal thoughts and all,3 months after that i took an overdose and ended up in the hospital, they sent me home that same night when i came to.the psychiatrist in the hospital made an appointment for the next day to go back to my psychiatrist in witch i did and spoke with her ,the hospital had told her i was going to see her ,she wasnt a bit pleased with me ,i felt bad enough just going back to her the next day without her making me feel worse, she didn't want to know me or what way i felt ,i was so upset when and cried all the way home,thinking is this the kind of help my two children would have got ,i might have went home and took my life that day the way i was feeling but a good friend rang my phone and had a long talk with me.can you try and understand i wasnt looking for a substitute i was only trying to stay alive.
hi florena .no i ha vent seen my shrink since jan of this year, i went to her for 5 months after i took an overdose of pills she didn't want to know me ,so she put me back in the hands of my GP told her i felt very suicidal and she said, that thought will always be with me ,but when i think suicidal it drives me mad because i don't know what i should do ,i feel i just want to die at the time and i then i think of my young son , i cant go on feeling like this,its doing my head in and i cant think straight i if that's all a shrink can do for you is to give you meds and tell you your suicidal thoughts will always be with you why go in the first place to them,what are they supposed to help you with ,florena can you tell me bell.you do make sense its the shrink that doesnt,
Hi Bell,
It is good to hear from you again! I do assume you've recently seen your shrink. Isn't it a comfort to have such a good follow up?
Anyhow Bell, I do believe that "moderate" is between mild and severe, obviously. The diagnose of major depression is based on behavior, affective moods, cognitive and somatic symptoms. In a major depression I guess most symptoms fit in according to tests, while a mild depression is a depression where medications aren't expected to be needed.
Gosh I hope I make sense?
Keep talking dear. Life after the loss of someone who suicided is a challenge but do-able!
Florena
It is good to hear from you again! I do assume you've recently seen your shrink. Isn't it a comfort to have such a good follow up?
Anyhow Bell, I do believe that "moderate" is between mild and severe, obviously. The diagnose of major depression is based on behavior, affective moods, cognitive and somatic symptoms. In a major depression I guess most symptoms fit in according to tests, while a mild depression is a depression where medications aren't expected to be needed.
Gosh I hope I make sense?
Keep talking dear. Life after the loss of someone who suicided is a challenge but do-able!
Florena
Namaste,
You describe a wide range of symtoms that are indicative of several different mental health issues.
You need to see a qualified psychiatrist immediately and be totally honest with him/her concerning what has been going on.
You're not going to find your answers in a forum such as this.
Most importantly, your thoughts of suicide are very disturbing and if you get to the point where you feel the urge to make plans to commit suicide, dial 911 immediately.
This information is intended to supplement, not substitute for, the expertise and judgment of your physician or other healthcare professional.
See someone immediately and understand that with proper treatment, things do get better.
Michael
You describe a wide range of symtoms that are indicative of several different mental health issues.
You need to see a qualified psychiatrist immediately and be totally honest with him/her concerning what has been going on.
You're not going to find your answers in a forum such as this.
Most importantly, your thoughts of suicide are very disturbing and if you get to the point where you feel the urge to make plans to commit suicide, dial 911 immediately.
This information is intended to supplement, not substitute for, the expertise and judgment of your physician or other healthcare professional.
See someone immediately and understand that with proper treatment, things do get better.
Michael
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