Do not want to leave my house

[what2do1989]

I have gotten to the point that I do not want to leave my house.  I work for the schools and I am off 6 weeks in the summer.  I always think that I will be so productive during that off time and also enjoy my swimming pool.  But I don't.  I use to write this off to being satisfied with my life but now I wonder.  I wake up early but just don't get out of bed, therefore I catnap till about lunch.  I sometimes will put my Ipod on and listen to a book while I lay in bed.  I like nothing better than surfing the internet, reading a book or watching TV in my bedroom.  I really would not even leave my room if my daughters did not comment on what a hermit I have become.  Most of the time I do not even answer my phone because I just do not want to talk to anyone.  Plus if my husband would not say anything I would not even get of my pajamas.  I will always think about the things that need to be done at my house (I have never liked to clean) but I just don't do them.  I am somewhat of a packrat and have lots of clutter.  But I want my house clean and organized, I find other things to do.  We were very active in our church but now I cannot even drag myself out of bed on Sunday Mornings to go to church.  I don't even walk out to the mailbox somedays, not that I dread what is in it I just don't go.  During the school year I rarely miss a days work but when I come home I do not even want to cook dinner, I certainly do not want to clean the kitchen afterwards.  All I want to do is get home as quick as I can and either get on the internet, read or watch TV.  I have 2 teenage daughters and married for 20 years to a very attractive man.  When we married I was not overweight which I am now by about 75 pounds.  My husband is the same size and excerises everyday.  He is very disciplined and I am not.  I am ADD and take Adderall everyday for that and I am also on 60 mg of Cynbalta.  I use to be very social and now I am social at work but other than that I just want to be at home doing things by myself.  I am not sure if this is healthy at all.

[Mrsadcanuck]

I feel the same as all these comments...... but I may just be lazy....mabey I just hate the temp job I'm working.....when I get enough sleep to go in....there are going fire me soon...... I'm 39..... its like my life is over.....but I also live for my daughter....I love her so much.....but sometimes I think if she was gone..... I would not be able to live.....literally....I just would not go on

[Afletchy]

Hi guys,

I have a similar problem to all of you. Im 34 years old, I sold my business which i ran for 13 years so i could game on my computer almost 14hours per day i used to be popular and have girl friends etc. I now feel like a lonely person with out anyone. I left my family and my daughter which hurts me the most and moved to another town. I live on my own and probably get out if I'm lucky once a week to do the necessities such as groceries etc. Although there has been times i have stayed home for 2 weeks easy, scraping through the wardrobes for cans of tuna starving just to eat. I even bought a gym set for home so i didn't have to leave home. Luckily i work from home and it doesn't require me to leave other wise i would quit.

The only thing i can offer is a long term person with depression etc, Is for the first time I'm starting to feel good. I've tried the counseling / physiologists, pills, watching positive videos and listening to motivational speakers,going to a church, meditation.

The one thing that has helped me the most is i watched this documentary on manic depressives. Basically what they found is majority of people who suffer from depression lack blood flow to the brain.So i researched what stops the blood flow to the brain and the main content was sugar and fructose (Sweet fruit such as apples,Bannanas, Strawberries) . Sugar is poisonous to the body and brain.. what i did was try to buy food that was between 3-6% sugar per 100 grams. And up my intake of spicey foods which increase blood flow to the brain. I must admit it took a while for me to do this, cause i just could not be f&^%ed, I had to ask a friend that i met here to push me to exercise when she went to go swimming etc. I have been on this diet for 3 months and feel great. Also helped reduce a little fat too which is nice. I'm not just ready to stay out in the public yet for long periods of time but this has helped me so i thought i would share this with you guys :D hope this helps.

Take care and i send my love to all of you.

[artemesia2]

I think it would be a good idea to get some therapy.  Especially when you wrote there's lots of clutter.   Generally speaking c lutter can be an accident, serious injury in the making.   Especially if you trip and fall.      Gut feeling is your severely depressed.   I like to stay indoors too especially if its too hot or cold outside.   I  am being treated for  depression myself.   Good luck to you.

[vickymclaren]

Please please remember that it will ease it always always will and even though there is more bad than good days there still is good days please remember that you're not alone and it is more common than you think.

[phoebe3004]

Hi Specialmom I'm so touched by your message and thank you for taking the time to comment. I have actually been to see a very nice understanding psychiatrist and he's put me on duloxetine. I'm starting week 3 and feeling a bit of hope for the first time in a long time. I have never used a site like this but actually so touched by the kindness of strangers. Another lady has also sent me such a lovely and heartfelt message which really made me feel less alone. I am going to reply to her as well. Depression really does cloud one's mind. I became swallowed up in the darkness of the world, all the terrible stuff and cruelty going on in the world, that I forgot that there is also lightness and good people in abundance. It's just a matter of perspective.  Thanks again Specialmom and I wish you a very good week :)

[specialmom]

I'm so glad you are reaching out here and people are here for you!  This site can be very supportive and a good place to find an ear.  I'm also so very happy the medication is starting to work and you are feeling a bit hopeful.  You should.  I can tell you are a sweet lady and I want that for you.  We are here any time.  And I wish YOU a really good week too!!

[phoebe3004]

Hi reading all of these posts is both comforting and yet heartbreaking at the same time. I so identify with what people are saying. I am struggling to come out of a severe episode of depression that has lasted five months so far. I am 48 and don't have kids, and I feel incredibly sad about it. I used alcohol and food to medicate the depression which started in my early teens and even though I was "high functioning" and had good jobs my depressive episodes and addiction problems mean that I made lots of bad decisions and messed up a lot of relationships. I am now ten years sober in recovery and have worked so hard to turn my life around. But honestly I wonder what is the point when I still struggle so much with depression. Every time I think I am finally getting my life together, it creeps back up on me and I don't have the energy to fight it anymore. I feel so much shame, I avoid talking to many people when I am this depressed as I just feel I have nothing positive to say and I can't be honest and tell my friends and family that I have wanted to die every single day for five months but don't have the guts to do it as scared of it going wrong. I lose all interest in hobbies, I have just sat and watched so much TV , anything, the more inane the better, just to numb out. I have somehow managed to do part time work but as soon as I get home I can't wait to hide under the duvet as only place I feel safe. Normally I am someone who likes a laugh ( believe it or not) but it's like experiencing a total personality change. Feel a bit like a zombie. My dog has literally saved me as I have felt so unbearably lonely and I can cuddle him for hours and have to force myself to take him to the park round the corner every day. Sending love to all you people out there. Depression and anxiety are really horrible illnesses, they often feed off each other and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy.

[specialmom]

Hi Pheobe.  You tacked your post onto an older thread and those can get missed but I happen to see it.  I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time of it sweetie!  We're here for you.  Depression can be wicked and thoughts of hurting yourself or ending your life are very serious.  Are you able to see a psychiatrist and psychologist for treatment?  It's at that point. This is daily and you are truly suffering!  I so encourage you to view this like any other illness that needs treatment and to seek that out.  Do you have any close people that you feel you could trust with what is really going on inside?  Again, we're here for you hon.  Let us know how we can help or if you just need people to talk to.  hugs

[Nicolelorraine84]

I do not know what to do anymore. I have 2 kids who I love more than anything and they are the only reason I am still here. I can not ruin their lives because their mommy chose to end hers. But honestly, they deserve better than me. I can not even leave the house most days so they are stuck here with me. I can not get myself up and going no matter how hard I try. I feel paralyzed at times. I wish some tragic accident would happen to me so that my life could end, but it was not me that chose to end it. Then my husband could move on with a wife that adores my kids and can actually give them the energy they deserve. I know my husband would be happier as well. I feel so trapped and hopeless. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist. I take antidepressants. I am trying to get better, but losing all hope. What am I supposed to do? Live like this forever? Put my kids through this forever? I am so lost and everything is so dark.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I'm sure sorry you are having this hard time!  Keep working with your doctor, keep trying!  If you aren't feeling any relief with the medication you take, talk to your doctor about trying something else.  Do you have a support group?  What's hard when you are a mom and wife is that you know that your pain hurts them so sometimes you might bottle it up inside.  So, it's good to have a safe person to be honest with.  If there is anything I can do to help, I sure will try.  You are important to this world.  I wish I could give you the hope you need right now that it will get better.  Take one day at a time.  hugs

[Ej77]

The problem may actually be your marriage. I come from a family and my dad has a personality disorder called narcissism. Look it up and research it. It has become a long epidemic now and mostly affects men. Most people commenting on here seem to be women and seem to be agoraphobic or sick of people. That's because most people suck. Try to find people you love and things you love and cut out all the things that drag you down. Research narcissism to make sure your husband isn't one. Narcissists often drive their partners/wives and friends to suicide. They basically try to suck you dry and kill your soul. Would not be surprised if most people on here have at least one narc in their life. I believe we are in a spiritual war here and depression and despair is spiritual. Yes God can lift depression, He did it with me. Depression is actually spiritual attack from the enemy (the first ever narcissist). Fight back spiritually and win!

[RachelMaeDiaz]

Lucky to find this thread. Lol. When I was in my college, I used to be an outgoing person. I love to travel most, hang out with my friends and be surrounded by people. I used to do the things I like to do. But when I got married, I stuck myself in our house taking care of my 2 children. I rarely had time taking a bath and taking care of myself as well. I think its already a depression because everytime my husband will say, you visit your mother's house or you go out for some time with the kids but then I just can't. I think I can't move a single step outside the door. Well, I also planned to go to the church one Sunday but the time seems to run fast and I just realized that its already late in the afternoon and I was not yet prepared or my children as well.  

[fukaguba]

I am sorry you feel the same way I do but I am SO JEALOUS that you have the option to do what you want all day!  I hate working and I am so very tired all the time and nothing helps (ex: therapy, medication, reading self-help books).
I think life is so pointless and exhausting and I don't know why people do it.
I hope you feel better knowing that, at least someone out there is jealous of you and would give ANYTHING to be retired and free of this horrible ****.

[Emmy44]

I am so thrilled to find people out there like me. I thought I was the only one! 44 years old, have raised 5 children, used to be...not really social...but I would occasionally goto a social gathering at friends or families. Now all I want to do is stay home, and the only people I care to see are my children. I do keep a clean house, and love to cook but outside the house I'm a mess. I hate people, I feel like every where I go people are judging me or dislike me, I have trouble keeping a job bc of anxiety and having to meet new people. I just don't care about anything anymore. I used to love to shop, I hate doing that, I used to love to go for walk but hate that, I used to love to talk on the phone and now I hate that. I'm just a big blob of nothing! I have hypothyroid which is out of whack again but nobody listens, I need a job but the thought of it terrifies me. All I want to do is be home in my comfy house, in my comfy clothes, watching TV with my fur babies, or cleaning my house. I have projects to do which I would typically jump to do but now have no interest. I am on several medications for depression and anxiety so I don't know what my problem is!

[Fafi1986]

I like you came to a point where I felt life was so pointless and secluded myself in my bed for 3 months. I was diagnosed with severe depression. Once you have that outlook that life isn't worth living your life becomes a living misery. Knowing your going to wake up makes you miserable because you don't want to deal with life and wish that you could sleep through life.  Please i don't know you but I want you to know that you are not alone. Don't give up on yourself and on life. this life is just a milestone to get to the next life. Remember all men/women will die so don't just sit around waiting to die. Snap out of it. Remember the fun times in your life (remember everyone has had some great times in there life eg winning a sport when u wer younger, a birthday party you had that was incredible and you wer in cloud 9 for days, a boy you liked that ended up liking you back and it kept u up all night smiling) remember these things and then go out and find something that will make you happy again and want to live life again. Is there something you always wanted to b eg a nurse a teacher even a shop assistance go out and study it do it u will get back that happy feeling that satisfied feeling that we have all experienced. Don't let these dark days erase the great experiences u have had and now find new memories find new fun exciting memories. Don't wait around waiting to die. Start today don't say tomorrow.  Go live ur life and before u know it u will b at deaths door. Get into religion and read about the after life's wher we will b happy and stress free for eternity it makes u feel better about life.

[Pdnick1632]

I could have written that myself.  I would happily take a bunch of pills and end this **** - but I have a 23 year old son who loves me, and he is the ONLY reason I'm still here.  My son is in NY and I moved to N Carolina to be near my sisters and parents (something theyve been pushing me to do for the last 10 years).  After 2 psych wards, almost every antidepressant on the market, I begrudgingly moved.  I thought I could start over but its been quite the opposite!  My sisters dont bother with me because they think Im a drug addict because I take antidepressants, think Im full of **** and think I just need to eat better and pray more.  Forget my mother - shes never talked about feelings and is cold as ice!  I go to work put on my pjs and do nothing.  I havent tried very hard to get out there because I just dont freakin want to!!  When I wake up I look foreard to the time I can go back to sleep.  I used to be fun, energetic, funny and optimistic - but I honestly think shes gone - FOREVER!!  I hate everything and just want to die!  I fantasize about being in a car and being in an accident and dying, being shot, dying during some kind of surgety, breaking my neck falling down the stairs so it isnt considered suicide and my son wont have to live with that!  Im at the end of my rope - after 20+ years I just cant do this anymore!

[doinOK2]

I've been depressed most of my life, so I've learned a thing or two.  I think you have major depression, and that's a very serious medical condition.  If you're thinking about suicide again, you must go to a psychiatrist and get some anti-depressants because they work faster than anything else.  Suicide is a horrible burden to inflict on your family and all who know you.  You should also get regular therapy.  A psychologist is much better trained than a counselor, but is more expensive.  If you're on medicare, it's coverage of mental health is not very good for long-term therapy.

If you like to surf the internet, there are a lot of herbs and supplements that people claim help.  St John's Wort is one, evening primrose, 1000 - 2000 i.u. vitamin D per day, multi-vitamins, and so on.  The company "Life Extension" has a huge inventory of supplements to  improve just about every ailment to man that aren't commonly available.  

Something you can do that might be the easiest is try to do something pleasurable, esp. for your body, as often as you can -- give yourself a pedicure, take a bath with a scent you like and use body lotion afterward.  Get one of those electric auto-massagers, and use a hot pad for your neck (a common site for tension and tension makes depression worse.  Get a cat or a very sweet dog (not a military-macho dog) to pet. These activities release Oxycontin which is the "feel-good" chemical in your body.  If your husband's a good lover, that'd be great, but otherwise, get some of that super-duper lubricant and some sexy books.

As soon as you feel up to it, start getting some exercise.  A dog helps there -- they love their walk so much, I do my best to get them out every day.  It's not just the exercise they need -- they also need the sensory stimulation and the emotional satisfaction of roaming.  They start doing annoying things if they don't get it.  Start with 10 minutes.  If all you can do is sit in the yard, at least they get to sniff around there.  Mine usually just want to be where I am.

Learn how to meditate.  I haven't been able to establish a program here, but it's well-known that it helps depression.  In a class I went to, the teacher said to find a time that fits your schedule, and start meditating for just 5 minutes every day at that time.  

If your exercise has been going well, start doing something more aerobic.  Riding a bike is good since it doesn't put a lot of strain on your joints.  You need to build up muscle around them before you take an aerobic class or something.  (Found that out the hard way).  The ultimate goal is 30 mins 3x per week, but just do what you can.  My doctor says it's like taking an anti-depressant -- and no bad side effects!  Only good ones.

Military bases may have some funky stuff in the water.(and not just them, either).  But you may have accumulated some heavy metals, and they are very bad for the brain.  There are some de-tox procedures described on the 'net that don't involve a lot of work -- just vit E and C (anti-oxidants) and this sea-weed stuff that keeps the colon from reabsorbing it.  May be bunk, but it's worth trying.  Just about anything you can manage is worth trying.  Purified fish oil (no mercury) is supposed to be real good.

I've heard that a lot of women have trouble when their husbands retire (I certainly did).  Suddenly they're around all the time!  Try to find things that take you out of the house.  It's hard if you moved after retirement and don't have the support of friends, but make some as soon as you can.  The dog walks help here, too.  Then you can go out to lunch or a movie together.  Regain some distance.  See if you can interest your husband in vegetable garden, lapidary work, whatever.  Often if you start doing it, they want to do it too.  Then they'll keep doing it, hopefully, when you stop.

Hope this helps.  Just don't beat yourself up if you can't do these things.  That just feeds the depression by making you feel bad about yourself.  Just do what's easiest for you and it may make you feel better enough to do a little bit of something else.  It's all good.  Just do what you can -- take baby steps, one at a time.  

I still think you should get some anti-depressants.  Don't kid around with major depression.  Tell your husband to find a psychiatrist and make you go see him.  It'll cost you some money, but this is your life.  They can get you feeling good enough so it'll be lots easier (still not easy though :-(  ) to get a regular program going with the above self-support things.  Then maybe if you hate the idea of taking them, you can wean off them,

[Ej77]

I actually think it is the husbands that are causing all this suffering. Look up narcissism.

[NegNanc]

I am a 22 year old that ***** in her stomach in public because Im terrified of being judged for being fat. I guess it roots from growing up being abused sexually, verbally and emotionally for years. I would and still look in the mirror and get so depressed. I'm a college student and not wanting to leave my house ever is taking over my life. I don't want to get out of bed, I dont want to do anything but be in my bed on the internet. I struggle keeping friends. I get annoyed at everything. I try to workout but with the stress of school all I find myself doing is driving through the drive-thrus. I don't want to go a psych because I don't want to depend on stuff like adderall. Idk what to do I used to really try and be positive during high school and practice self love by atleast dressing up, and always doing my hair and makeup which would help me feel better and want to go out but Im just back to being a negative Nancy. Someone please help, I cry all the time and at times wish my death would not affect anyone.

[miainmiami]

We are just alike. I have no kids and bi-polar never diagnosed but I know better. I have been under stress and couldn't eat. I have been drinking Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus. I have long hair also and I found that this protein drink makes my hair and nails grow fast and strong. Having had long hair all my life I think it was because I did Yoga and many headstand and the increase blood to the head is good for many things and hair growth is one of them. At my age I just bend over or get exercise. If only they could find a pill to stop gray hair. I have been sitting here all weak not wanting to get the gray out. Take Care Mia in Miami

[Vanbri]

I got pregnant but it wound being Ectopic and I had to have emergency surgery, ever since then I haven't been as active or sociable...I hate leaving the house and being around people...all I wanna do is watch netflix, eat, and sometimes have a drink or 2....glad I'm not alone

[Pinkvlu]

I'm so sorry for the situation you had to face. I myself had to be in the hospital for 3 months (the reason is for a spine infection) and after I got out, I felt and still feel exactly how you described. This is horrible.

[Mutney]

I'm older.  44yrs old.  I am a Retail Store Manager.  I work very hard.  On my days off I just don't want to do anything but, lay on my bed and watch Netflix or play games on my phone.  I feel so lazy and beat myself up for that.  Downward spiral.

[smilingpretty411]

I feel this way somewhat. I dont know if I am depressed or just lazy. I am very overweight and doing anything even walking to the bathroom tires me out. I am at a point now that I just dont want to do anything at all. My husband tries to understand but because I am the breadwinner of the household, I feel he is just trying not to make me feel worse. I work from home 4/5 days and the day I have to go in I battle the night before and morning of, if I am even going in. When I do go in I talk to no one really, just do my 8 hrs and come right back home. I use to love shopping and going out to concerts and movies and stuff but now nothing. I can get everything online mostly, right? This weekend is Easter, and I declined the family dinner.  I feel so guilty, but I just dont want to go anywhere or do anything. It *****!

[Kristicaro]

I just found this website and I am overwhelmed that so many people are fighting this same situation.  My Mother had paranoid schizophrenia and I was the oldest of three children.  I have been in therapy on and off most of my life.  I am on Paxil and desryel for at least 10 years.  I have withdrawn from several social groups.  As I am sitting here right now, I am supposed to be at a circle dance weekend (something I like doing), but I can't make myself get dressed, pick up something for dinner at the grocery store and get over there.  It is a 10 minute drive away.  Why can't anybody do anything to help me?  I am a mother and grandmother to three children ages, 8, 10, 13.  We just bought a new townhouse for them across country.  I will sleep in the den and I am really looking forward to visiting them for the holidays.
Yesterday I found out that my brother wiith advanced Parkinson's disease who is incontinent; and my sister-in-law, with her live in lover plus a Chinese student will be driving to spend the day with us on Thanksgiving.  They are bringing their three dogs, small, medium and large; and intend to make themselves at home with our small patio.  I have said "no' but sister-in-law does not listen.  I envisioning myself calling the police if they arrive with the dogs.  I hate having my thanksgiving ruined because of three barking, whining dogs.  We are brand new to the neighborhood and I don't want to upset any neighbors in this special holiday.  I just want to hide in a room upstairs and not even join the party.  Help!

[Jotrhofinch]

This is either mild depression or clinical or a major one brewing. Posting a comment about depression actually helps, it helped me. After getting out of job and jobless for 3 years, alienating friends and family. I knew i had a problem. Every night i wish i die, i wont leave the room, or move from a certain spot. I try to list things id like to do, but never gets to start them or if i did never get to finished it. No matter what diet food or exercise one do, that wont help. Medicines could kickstart you but there has to be someone or people pushing you to move and not feel useless, miserable. I once saw i homeless guy put up the words on a carton saying, "I USED TO BE SOMEONE". And that immediately hit me. Im no famous person but that is so true. Depression doesnt just make you sad or feel miserable, it PREVENTS YOU FROM ACCEPTING YOU ARE EVEN A PERSON, or that you exist, or that you are someone, heck even something. It is numbing, and killing me. Suicide is a constant thought if not that then death is a constant thinking. An escape so blissful that soon it'll be the only cure worth accepting. It's like from the inside i am shouting all the time for help but only i could hear that deafening frightening cry of misery. Hell is a real thing, and it's not warm but rather a freezing coldness so sadness, so down so miserable. Who can help, what can help? No point of talking about God because, most don't realize this, God does not exist in  depression, He simply doesn't. Don't bother asking a church goer you'll only be more depressed. So how, where do i get to find the cure? Well there isn't one. You live with it and deal with it. Medicines and food and exercise can only do as much. The sooner you realize there is no cure but just to toughen it up is the sooner you get to understand the very nature of depression, IT'S ALL IN YOU. No one can help you, you have got to toughen yourself up and live. Start with the nearest thing infront of you, do something, anything to keep starting to move away from your "depression spot". Then do another, and another, until you forget and cut the chains that's really driving your depression, YOUR EGO.  And it's killing you, you know this. But it keeps on blinding you. Don't wait for any drug or food or person to help you. This is all you. Void yourself of the images of the past or future, focus on that small and tiny next move away from your "egoistic depression spot". A single step will do. After that, look where you've been. MARK IT! It is a black hole, a little piece of hell on earth you are to avoid at all cause, well, at least for some time. Do this every day. And remind yourself each moment you fell sad and miserable, it's all your ego talking to you. You want to be live? You want to exist? To smile again? To be someone? You have got to change. Starting from that spot? MOVE!

[Jotrhofinch]

This is either mild depression or clinical or a major one brewing. Posting a comment about depression actually helps, it helped me. After getting out of job and jobless for 3 years, alienating friends and family. I knew i had a problem. Every night i wish i die, i wont leave the room, or move from a certain spot. I try to list things id like to do, but never gets to start them or if i did never get to finished it. No matter what diet food or exercise one do, that wont help. Medicines could kickstart you but there has to be someone or people pushing you to move and not feel useless, miserable. I once saw i homeless guy put up the words on a carton saying, "I USED TO BE SOMEONE". And that immediately hit me. Im no famous person but that is so true. Depression doesnt just make you sad or feel miserable, it PREVENTS YOU FROM ACCEPTING YOU ARE EVEN A PERSON, or that you exist, or that you are someone, heck even something. It is numbing, and killing me. Suicide is a constant thought if not that then death is a constant thinking. An escape so blissful that soon it'll be the only cure worth accepting. It's like from the inside i am shouting all the time for help but only i could hear that deafening frightening cry of misery. Hell is a real thing, and it's not warm but rather a freezing coldness so sadness, so down so miserable. Who can help, what can help? No point of talking about God because, most don't realize this, God does not exist in  depression, He simply doesn't. Don't bother asking a church goer you'll only be more depressed. So how, where do i get to find the cure? Well there isn't one. You live with it and deal with it. Medicines and food and exercise can only do as much. The sooner you realize there is no cure but just to toughen it up is the sooner you get to understand the very nature of depression, IT'S ALL IN YOU. No one can help you, you have got to toughen yourself up and live. Start with the nearest thing infront of you, do something, anything to keep starting to move away from your "depression spot". Then do another, and another, until you forget and cut the chains that's really driving your depression, YOUR EGO.  And it's killing you, you know this. But it keeps on blinding you. Don't wait for any drug or food or person to help you. This is all you. Void yourself of the images of the past or future, focus on that small and tiny next move away from your "egoistic depression spot". A single step will do. After that, look where you've been. MARK IT! It is a black hole, a little piece of hell on earth you are to avoid at all cause, well, at least for some time. Do this every day. And remind yourself each moment you fell sad and miserable, it's all your ego talking to you. You want to be live? You want to exist? To smile again? To be someone? You have got to change. Starting from that spot? MOVE!

[Lenanott]

Omg!!! These are some profound words; thank you!!!

[hypn0tic]

Wow, this as well, is exactly what I've been going through for a few years. I was addicted to opiates for 11 years, got incarcerated im 2012, got sober, and have since been released. Ever since I've been out, I want to stay im my room 24/7 with the exception of the OCCASIONAL walk throughout the house, r my Daily cleaning and what not. At first I chalked this up as being " institutionalized" but that shouldn't STILL hold true. I've never been to a Dr about it yet I'm anyway. I need to talk to someone for sure about this. I turn 35 this week, being FAR too young to be dealing with this. It does make me feel a little "sainer" knowing that I am not alone. So thank you, to each and everyone who has posted. And may us all get through this.

[Nina2609]

There are so many similar cases narrated (I am the one among you otherwise I would not google this) but never saw a single advise, experience, story etc how to leave this state which really annoys and frightens me to a state that I am afraid to lose my sanity. I am a single woman in my mid fourties and losing a job badly hit me you guess why.

[s_e4]

Wow I'm so thankful that I found this page, just knowing there are other people in the world feeling the EXACT way that i'm feeling right now! I seriously wish I was active and productive, every night I make a list for all the things Im gonna do the next day and it never gets done, especially if it is something that requires me leaving the house. I have all day to do stuff but I still just eat cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner because I loathe cooking and then I feel massively guilty at the end of the day for not doing anything. I don't answer calls unless they're from someone in my immediate family and always avoid making plans with friends. I always imagine being a totally different person in the future with heaps of energy, outgoing etc. but I don't actually take any steps towards this.

[Wc1963]

I am exactly the same. I have to work because I have a business , but I can't wait to get home

[SomewhereInTime]

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site.  It is a pleasure to meet all of you.  Some of you have asked what to do because you don't want to leave your house.  I am in that same boat.  I have a suggestion though if you really do not want to leave your dwelling like I don't want to leave mine but you can talk online etc. and be good with that.  

I play World of Warcraft.  I have played it since October 10 of 2007.  Yes, there are some mean people but they are people just behind the screen of their computer and best of all if I don't like what they are saying I can put them on ignore and not have to see their comments.

In the guild that I and my fiancee own, we recently added a man that is 68 years old.  I love him to pieces and I call him Poppy which he just gets the biggest kick out of.  LOL.  Before he joined our guild, he told us that he wanted to go on raids in game but had a hard time finding people that would not be upset because he is losing his eyesight and can't always see his keys and his dexterity isn't what it used to be.

We did not care that he couldn't always see his keys and that his dexterity wasn't great.  We work around those things as a team.  We have people in our guild that have girlfriend / boyfriend issues or home life issues, work issues, stress, autism, anxiety disorders, physical issues.  The list goes on and on.  

We talk to each other when we are down and life is at it's lowest.  We can either whisper each other or even use ventrilo, a voice over IP program that is free to have and we use a server that is set up for WoW and is public server.  

It's good to laugh and sometimes that is just what is needed to get through the day is a good laugh.  Watching your guild mate fall off a cliff because they were not paying attention is pretty funny.

I also play Myst URU online.  It is free, graphics are amazingly beautiful it is so serene and you don't die in it.  It is also open source so people make these amazing worlds you can visit and figure out the puzzles to get through that world.  ( ages ) is what they are called.

My point to this is that, at least for me when I feel good and am in good spirits and know I'm not alone and can do things I can't normally do, it makes it easier for me to leave my apartment and go shopping or to appointments etc. and even go for a walk.  It also feels nice to help someone who is feeling blue and getting them to laugh because honestly we all know what it feels like to be in that mode and we don't like to see each other in that mode but we do understand it and accept one another for who and how we simply are.
Now that I have written this book to all of you, and talked your ear off, I hope you try it out.  If you do, I am on Lightninghoof server on Horde side faction.  The guild is Party Crashers.  My real id for the game is: ***@****  it is also my email address so if anyone has questions or wants to try it out but don't know how, please feel free to email me or if you just want to talk.  I'm here for you :-)

Blessed Be.  

[granttj]

Just reading this for the first time I have these same feelings, but have to hide them from everyone especially my children 10 and 15.  No one understands this I disappoint my husband and friends all the time because I can't get out of my own head and I don't enjoy anything.  So freaking sad...:( tired of being tired of it

[nursegirl6572]

This is an old thread, you will get more input if you start a new thread of your own.  These are classic signs of depression...isolation of self, no motivation, little to no pleasure out of doing things.  If you're having these, you probably have depression and need to seek some help.

Like I said, start a new thread, explain what's been going on, and give us a little history about yourself (age, any medical histiry, any past mental health treatments, social issues, etc).

We'll be happy to help you the best way we can!