do u give up and put an end to it all??????

[blondie337]

why bother fighting wen u can make the pain stop for good? why carry on wen there is no hope? what happens when u cant take no more and you say i give up? why fight when its never going to get better? and then ppl say ur life is worth living wht if u have nothing to life for? why bother when u just want to end it? life is for living not living every day in hell! why care any more wen u dnt? so wht if its the easy option!!!!! so to end it is the answer right?

[Jaquta]

You fight because you believe life can be better.  Surely it can't always be this bad?
Without life there is no hope.  While you are alive there are always possibilities.
You say it and then you go on.  You get back on your horse and live for the next moment and then the next.
It does get better but we need to make changes.
You bother because you want better and have dreams of it being better.
You're right, life is for living.  Many people, and not just depressed people, just exist.
Questions betray the fact you do care.
I don't think death is an easy answer (or selfish) but nor do I think it is the best solution.

I would consider talking to your parents.  Definitely see a psychiatrist and definitely get yourself into some good psychotherapy with a qualified and experience therapist.  The longer you put treatment off the harder  it is to resolve it.

[marialou]

hi blondie, it seems such a waste to want to end your life at 21 when it should just be beginning. you say there is no hope,you want to give up and why fight,you dont say why but to feel this way you must of been through some hurt in your life. you say also you live with your parents,do they realise how you feel? my daughter died through natural causes and the pain of losing her will live with me forever. your an only child and to take your own life would also destroy the lives of people that love you. i hit such a low in my life.i couldnt say i wanted to committ suicide.i just didnt want to live anymore.i was depressed for bein alive. maybe i didnt want to put my mum and family through what i was trying to deal with. but i have another daughter. ive lost one.i couldnt leave another.
everyone has obstacle they have to face in life.everyone.some worse than others.its how you choose to deal with them.there is so much help out there.you cant give up without trying.and there is hope.we would all give up if there wasnt.keep strong.best of luck hun

[blondie337]

well true but i have tried different things but havent worked but im not goin to give up!

[whodunnit]

Yes Blondie, many have been through it and done it very hard. Many are still doing so and will not succumb to suicide as they know these thoughts are temporary. For me temporary has meant years in retrospect but it passed nevertheless. You won't wait that long as you are young and strong despite how you think right now.

I should point out too that, at age 21, there is absolutely no way you could have been through all the possible treatments as yet. You would not have even touched the sides of the bucket full Blondie, truly. I've been at it more years than you've been alive and I'm still finding new and different options when I need to. I'm settled for now but I'm always looking for a better way.

So do not tell yourself or anyone you've been there and done that. As you haven't.

[blondie337]

hi thank u for reading my post nice to knw tht ppl will give support, well im 21 im a hairdresser live in england live at home with parents have no brothers or sisters, dnt really have any intrests now, used to sing and play piano which i loved but since all this cant get into it again, just in a low place and need to be happy again!

[constantissues]

we've all been there sweetie, don't go down that path cuz it will take you to a worse place.It's not a way out. Taking your life would put you in real hell for eternity...and it'll be much worse there than it'll ever be here. I'm on the path to help myself..trying to get the answers to all these questions I have also. Like smoking and the dopamine levels..etc. I know going for a walk and crying my eyes out makes me feel better when I return home because the endorphins kick in due to the exercise. You may feel weak most of the time but I'm sure at some point you find your strength. Try to think positive and kick this in the a** at that time. Tell us more about yourself..age, family, friends, interests etc...
                                        we care, let us help...constantissues

[KATE535]

Alex you are a strong person, I admire you, your story is inspiring. I hope your MS will not worsen. Best wishes to you for the future,

Kate.

[blondie337]

well i just wanted to knw how pll felt about this subject, can see tht some of u have been through a difficult time and are, im in a difficult place now cant seem to get out of it thought of it as a option i knw its not the right thing to do but wht if u have gone through all the options and have tried whts left? yes theres children and adults fighting for another day of life out there, and it is selfish ending your life and devastating ur family i knw wht thts like, but when your desperate for the pain to go! well its good to hear frm ppl with problems and how they deal with them!

[HVAC]

Shakespeare addressed it in the Hamlet  "To Be or Not To Be"  To endure the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.

My mother tried to kill me when I was born.
She drank and smoked and took amphedimines when she was pregnant so I was always sickly.  I had asthma from the beginning. She hated me until she died. I forgave her.

I had double vision which could not be corrected from birth. No depth perception. I was dyslexic and could not read until I was an adult.

I was mauled by a wolf dog at five. My face was badly damaged but it healed. I love dogs.

My childhood was the worst.

I ended up in State Commitments on nasty drugs strapped to beds starting at sixteen into my twenties.

I have migraine headaches. Two blown discs, two bad knees. I am partially deaf in both ears.

My life was going really well. All my abusive family had died.  Then my Doctor tells me something is wrong neurologically.

The first neurologist tells me I am going to die and there is nothing they can do about it but he wants to do an MRI of my brain. He finds MS instead.

MS is incurable and crippling. I have to give myself painful shots every night. I at any moment could go blind or not be able to walk. There is a lot of pain with MS. Because it is eating my brain I get very depressed and tired.

Yes I get depressed but I have hope and it would be selfish of me to give up. I do not know what happens after this life and though I have endured some of the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to I positively want to live.

I hope you will reconsider.

Alex

[whodunnit]

Hey Blondie,

You're asking the questions so you must have doubts about going.

I tried to go, a couple of times. Like you I KNEW there was nothing to live for. Both times I did everything to be ready and lay down. The first time I sat up again as I thought of my kids and couldn't go through with it.

The second time I had music on and I suddenly KNEW. I knew that I wanted to live, regardless. I no longer cared how hard it was, what I had to go through I wanted it, life. I knew at that moment I could not do that and would not. I've since had one 3 month period of 24/7 suicidal thoughts but that did not change my mind. My mind wanted to give up but I DIDN'T.

Since then I've been OK. Fear gone, anxiety only rarely, misery, gone. Just OK due to meds and a great doc plus a great partner and daughter. OK, yes, and a cat!!

Life is for living, not wasting it wanting to die. Whatever happens to you it will fade as you emerge and wonder why you felt this way. You may drop back too but it is always one thing. Temporary. Suicide isn't.

Stay, chat awhile, learn with the rest of us.

[Hensley258]

There's always hope. Maybe a better Psychiatrist, maybe a new drug or treatment that works for you.

When we are in the depths of the severe depression all we can see is darkness because no light can come thru, that doesn't mean the light isn't there it just means we can't see it.

I have seen people with this condition come back from the dead and feel better. No, it was not a lasting remission but it was a good size break from the torment.

When we get these times of remission we must savor them. we don't know how long they will last.

[jemgem777]

When I feel like giving up, I think of my children and how they would feel.  This makes me hang in there until I get better.  There is always hope.  I know that we can get so down that we don't want to go on, but things will get better. Give them a try.

[mammo]

There's always hope.  You can always take more than you think.  You have to believe it will get better.  There's plenty to live for.  What makes you think suicide will end anything for you?  What makes you think it's easy, or that your pain will be over?  It may be worse!  YOU control your life now.  What makes you think there will be an end???  I've had plenty of reason to give up, but didn't and never will, because I'm not sure that what happens next would be any better.  We have many choices in life, and can change many things, and accept what we can't.  How sad that there are so many sick babies, children, teens, and adults fighting for just one more day thru all their suffering, yet you can't find any reason to live.....sad.