Well, either this is an excuse and he's not depressed but just wants to end the relationship and is too cowardly to just tell you that, or his depression is getting pretty bad and you're right, couples therapy won't help in that case, as it's not a couples issue but his alone. He needs individual therapy and, if it's bad enough, medication as well. I don't know of any internship epidemic, we throw the term epidemic around a lot in the US, but anyone can get depressed and he's at the age when mental illness breaks out. Whether your relationship can withstand this depends on the two of you -- if you're willing to stay with him and he's willing to stay with you the relationship will last. If not on either end, it won't. But if he's as depressed as you say, the more important thing right now is getting him help one way or the other, as isolation will destroy him if that's where he's really headed. It's a sinkhole.
I'm really sorry to hear this. So difficult. Let me just say that you can not save someone who doesn't want to save themselves. This can not be and should not be your responsibility in life unless it is your child. :>) In a loving, adult relationship, both people have to take care of themselves and be invested in a better life together. If he is not, you can't do it for him.
He sounds like he has a lot of sorting out to do. And I can hear the deep fear you have of letting this go. But this is not a happy place to be in. With a partner that is so troubled. You do not want a life that is filled with this!! He either gets help or you are better off in a relationship with someone that has peace, is emotionally healthy, etc. No one is perfect and everyone has their problems. But at some point, the problems can be too big to want to tie yourself to for the rest of your life. Imagine having kids living in a home with him? That would be an emotionally unhealthy home.
I'd let him go and get help. And if he does and wants to rekindle and you are open to it, then do so. But until then, he's not relationship material.
I know that is hard and easier for me to say as an outsider. hugs
Hi there! Let me start by saying that I am very sorry for what you "both" are going through. While this is very hard for you, I can tell that you do realize that your partner is not having a party in his head! I admire your unselfishness and willingness to do whatever it takes to help him.
I have been in the same position you are in right now. From that experience, I can say without hesitation that leaving him "alone", and I am talking about literally "alone", is the worst thing you could do right now. Depressed people typically tend to withdraw from people, interests, hobbies etc...and they sleep a lot. Leaving him alone inside his own head can't turn out good! He does have to want some help in order for any help to work. I am not sure how this can be accomplished. Showing him that he is loved and cared for will help whether you know it or not. Don't be critical or judgemental. Most of all, if he is not willing to do some work in order to get better, then you should take steps to take care of yourself. Don't let this drag you down into the mire with your partner.
You should be concerned if he is truthfully wanting to move out and isolate himself as not to further be a “burden.” Speaking from personal experience, especially since you are in a relationship, this should be a big warning sign. People suffering from depression will often completely cut off ties with those close to them and try to isolate themselves if they are seriously considering suicide. I know it is a very scary situation to be in and nobody wants to lose their significant other when they are ill, but more importantly, seek proper professional outside help for him immediately. He may need desperate and fast intervention, and in your position, you should not be hesitant to do anything you can to alert the proper authorities or psychiatric propeffionals of his condition and sudden decision to move out and live in isolation. Even if you might think he would be angry or upset with you for doing so, you CANNOT handle this extremely delicate situation on your own and it is ALWAYS the right move to play everything on the safe side. Suicidal individuals may not want any type of help or intervention because of the very same condition causing it, but you cannot risk staying silent or being afraid to take immediate action and getting the proper help for him. Losing your relationship will be much easier than losing his life altogether.