Feeling Stuck

[sugarcraft]

I feel trapped like I m in a dark hole and I can't get out. I feel guilt all the time. I just turned 40 and have not made anything of myself. No friends, no job, no prospects. I m a loser. I have disappointed my ffamily and myself. When I was small everyone had so much hope in me.Everyone including me thought I wld be a successful career corporate climbing woman. Instead I am nothing now. Stay at home mom with a pile of debt. I have no guts to end my life. I know my daughters need me. But I hate myself for turning out this way. thanks for listening.

[toejam_muncher]

yeah, but 40 isn't old. and in any case, where is it you really want to be in your life? have you answered that question for yourself? what exactly is it that you want out of life more than anything else? if you're 110 years old on your death bed...what exactly would have made you look back on your life and be content with it? i ask myself those things. sometimes i know the answer and then if i'm not already working toward that answer, i begin to try. i don't always get there, but trying does make me feel better about what i'm doing in this world. it seems almost shamefully easy for me to forget how lucky i am to even by alive...and before you know it time starts getting away from me and i've done nothing with myself. it's become more a matter of focus for me. i have to keep focused on where i want to take myself...and then once i'm there, where i want to go from there. if i don't stay focused on that, time starts getting away from me and i end up not getting anywhere at all.

anyway, i don't know how much use any of that is, but thats what helps keep me distracted and hopeful most of the time.

[Abhijeet Deshmukh, MD]

Hello.

I am sorry for what you are feeling right now. Is it possible for you to discuss your thoughts with a Psychiatrist in your area. You will be able to help yourself better that way.

It is not within the scope of this forum for anyone to diagnose or advise, but we can certainly share thoughts.

I do feel you have self defeating thoughts. And it appears you are attaching more weight than necessary, to others' expectations from you. This way, you are letting the outside events affect your emotions and behavior.

Visiting a psychiatrist will help you figure out how you can cope with this situation.

I hope other members of the community will join in and help you with their experiences.

Regards

Abhijeet Deshmukh, MD