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Help with Mom's Depression...

Hi. My mom is severely depressed and nothing she's tried has worked for her.  She's gotten to the point she wants to die and drinks heavily and I can't stand it because she's a brilliant person.  I know she needs help but she's tried so many things that she's nearly given up.  Can you tell me some things she could try?  I'm going to try and show her this site, she may not go for it because it probably costs alot and she has to work 5 days a week because she has so many bills...
I want my mom to be with me for the rest of her life and I'm scared to lose her.  She seems haunted by the bad things in her past and I wonder if it isn't something deeper than depression because nothing seems to work for her.  I try talking to her but I've done it for so many years that sometimes I lose patience and I feel like I'm babysitting her.  She seems so helpless and at times I just want her to be my mom, not someone I have to take care of.  I want her to be happy and normal and I still haven't given up hope...I know it sounds selfish but I know I'm not enough to motivate her to keep going in life and it hurts.
I know this is a sappy, drawn out question, but I'm getting desperate to show her that there is hope.  Um, sorry for the long essay I just wrote you.  Thank you for your time.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Oh...I said some things that don't really make sense.  I haven't slept all night because I was up talking with her.  Umm, I meant that she wouldn't go for a treatment facility that required you to spend massive amounts of time in.  I'm really sorry for the badly typed question.  I can't make sense of it right now from the lack of sleep. :(
Avatar universal
I have been struggling with depression on and off for what seems like most of my life.  I think it always helps to see the light when there is someone to talk to or care for me when I'm getting extremely hopeless.  I also turn to alcohol, but usually when I'm at a very low point.  See if there is some way to help your mom do something that she enjoys with friends or if you can take her out to get some sun.   I have seen psychiatrists and taken a lot of medications, but the better medication has always been to be with good friends or doing things that I've forgotten I enjoyed (such as going to the beach).  Sometimes it feels like you are in a dark hole, and you cannot see any light.  You can help her find it, or hold her hand through the dark times.  
Avatar universal
But she won't go out with her friends.  She says that nothing makes her happy anymore, and that includes me.  I'll stay with her of course, because she is my mom and I love her, but I feel helpless.  I wish she would go outside the house on her days off, but she literally chooses to stay home and watch tv while drinking.  She says it's because she's too tired.  I really wish she would go outside and spend time with people, including me...
Avatar universal
i feel for you so much.  i am a mum with depression, my daughter is just about the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.
you sound such a wonderfulperson to be so worried and caring about your mum.
alcohol makes people more depressed, its a vicious circle,
you are not selfish, you need to be looked after so dont be down on yourself
wish there was a magic wand to wave for your mum to be better.  something will help its trial and error, im still trying to find something after 10 yrs.
do you get any help from any of her friends?
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for the comments, both of you.  To answer your question mimimimi, she has friends but she never goes out with them.  She keeps them at a distance I think it's because she's ashamed of herself.  I keep looking for something that will work for her, but I'm scared I won't find something before it's too late...
I hope my mom feels the same as you do inside, because I ask her if I'm enough to keep her around and she says she just hates living and nothing makes her happy.  If I was your daughter I would be proud that my mom held on for me, too.
Does anyone have any other advice on what to try?  :(
Avatar universal
hi how are you feeling
thank you for what you said.
i wish there was something i could do to help you and your mum.
please dont give up, its the depression talking when she says shes hates living.
cant you get her friends to just come to her and not take no for an answer, the more time she spends with them the better it might get.  
will try and think of something xxx
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