Holiday blues

[sierrasong]

Short days, safe person(s) gone for the holidays, dark cloudy weather and stretches of unscheduled time...  It all adds up to holiday anxiety for me.  I'm trying to keep busy with baking, sewing and purposeful (but not overly frenetic) tasks, but I feel the anxiety lurking just out of sight, ready to pounce.  If we get a big snowstorm, I know I will be pretty frightened - I always feel somewhat trapped - unlike others who just build a fire, put their feet up and enjoy hot chocolate.  

I just hate being this way.  Christmas is when I had my first "break" and I always dread it.  Lost my mom a few days before Christmas as well, so that doesn't help with the mood.  

Oh, to just feel contented and restful.  Instead, the fears and tears threaten to ruin the day.  I  I'm going to cross post this in the Anxiety forum as the anxiety and depression I feel are hard to untangle.

'd love to hear from anyone who's feeling the same way...thanks in advance.

[sierrasong]

My heart goes out to you, mammo.  I think the loss of a son (and grandson) would be well nigh unbearable.  A big, huge e-hug to you for your loss.  Your note is a good reminder to me that no matter how bad things seem, there are always others suffering (and often MUCH more than me).  It helps put things into perspective.  My children and grandchildren are the lights of my life and I am so sorry that you have to bear this sorrow.

So, as you have wished me, I wish YOU strength and support during this holiday time.  Please feel free to keep writing - the support does help.  As for me, I just finished making the (last) big batch of fudge for the family and am going to the library for an hour or so.  It's such a peaceful place.  Then, I'll take the dog for a walk in the new fallen snow and try to reflect on all that's good in my life.

Please take care...and stay in touch.

[mammo]

Hi, I can relate to all this.  I lost my son several years ago and the empty seat at Christmas dinner is always hard.  Then a year ago this month we lost his son, our sweet grandson, so the holidays are filled with a lot of sadness for me.  Also, like you, I don't like the big snowstorms, even if I don't go anywhere, need to know I can if I want to. I find the cloudy, dreary days, can make me feel the same way.  I'm so sorry about your loss, this has to weigh heavily on you. For a lot of us, this time of year which should be a happy, joyous occassion, can just be a harsh reminder of all the sadness, and trials we faced in our lives.  I'm glad you posted, it reminds us that this is not the best time of the year for everyone, and even difficult to get through.  It's wonderful to have this support system that allows us to not feel so alone and lost.  I wish you strength for the holidays, and know you're not alone.  Take care......