I am relapsing.. :(

[lozzbra374]

I stoped cutting for about a month because when I saw my dad cry as a result of it, I knew I had to stop.
I have lost so many friends because I cant stop.
I am 15 and I know that its not good for me to do it, but its addictive and as much as I want to stop I cant. When Im happy i cut, when im sad i cut, when im angry i cut even when im having a good day I still feel I have to.
I think my dad saw my new cuts and im scared he will be upset again..
I dont know what to do. I cant stop even as much as I want to I cant, and its slowly going to isolate me from others and im scared.

[lozzbra374]

I have stopped cutting my wrists as everyone can see them. So now I resort to my thighs.. I did it the deepest id ever gone the other day..
I cant stop though. I have to see my therapist tomorrow and I dont want to see her. I hate talking to people about it. I hate having everyone tell me I am better then this but you have no clue what I am feeling. You think I dont try to stop? I want to stop so friggen badly, but I cant. Im sorry.

[LAIBA151]

You just have to stop cutting i know its really difficult but be strong. I also cut my wrists whenever i got depress or unhappy . I stopped cutting nearly 3 weeks ago when accidently my mom saw my scars and get really depress, she also cry alot. But 1 week ago i again get very stressed and cutting again:(
These habits of cutting is really bad  but i think if we get emotionally strong we can get rid of it. I am trying myself and u also just fight for it and b strong..

[witheredrose]

See, you have the power in your mind to resist it . If you were able to resist it before, i believe you can do it again. But you need to believe in yourself as well. Your important to your family, and you should feel important to yrself. I regret ever starting to cut, because now iam destroying my body. Its a hard to realize exactly what your doing to your body while your in the process of cutting because at the moment your mind is beliebing its goinf to help., but i know some days i look at all the cuts and scars i feel disgusted in myself. That is an issue that stands in the way of trying to quit, because when your mind believes it will make you feel better its hard to convince it otherwise. You dont feel ashamed while your doing it, you only believe it will help you feel better at the moment. Is there anything at all that triggers you to feel like cutting? I know you mentioned you do it even when your happy, but is there any specific things that make you want to? find the root of the problem and go from there. Im sorry your finding it difficult, I know how that is. Im still working on myself too.

[armira]

you are so young.if you cant stop your thoughts right now when its beginning ,you'll never stop it:( im writteing from my experience.you can stop cutting NOW  or you just get worse.i was like you and i didn't get out of problems but fall into deeper.it was my fault i didnt fight.you are in the adolescence and its normal having problems that looks bigger.but when your best years have gone,you will be regretting like i am now.my better years of youth has gone and what i have to remember from those years NOTHING  just all the suffer i've felt and hatred for that life that i wasn't happy.if i was weak you should FIGHT because i swear if you give up now,you'll never will have control for your life and living with pain in your soul its the worst feel ever.its like living in HELL.  so,   NOW     or   NEVER

[lozzbra374]

I stoped cutting for about a month like I said and I walked past the razor every single day and I resisted it but I was dying more inside without it. It releves me. I love my dad so so much and all my family wants to help but I cant talk to them as much as I want to and I cant talk to therapists either. So I dont know what to do.
Cutting has always helped me.

[witheredrose]

I still cut a lot to, and i only wish my parents cared as much as it sounds like your dad does. It would probably make him very happy if you came to him with it. Maybe it made him cry because he just wants you to talk to him about stuff  instead of cutting.
Do you use cutting as a coping skill? If so, then try finding something else occupy your mind, another coping skill that is positive. And whenever you feel like cutting, try your hardest not to, and instead use your other coping skill. It can take a lot of strength, but youll find that strength inside of you. Everybody has it, including you. Never give up on yourself, you have the strength and i know you do. I still need to work on my problem with cutting as well. Its not easy, but in the end it makes you stronger

[RainLover71]

I think you have so much to live for and it's human nature to want to go on & not give up.You have such a lovely family & my heart goes out to your dad because I'm sure he loves you so much as do the rest of the family.You showed your strength before I know you can do it again.I know right now it might seem like climbing everest but it will pass.I made a promise to myself that I will never give up,if god wants to take me it will be naturally not my own doing--no way.I will deal with anything that comes along--anything.

[lozzbra374]

I stopped posting because I slowly got better but now its worse thn it ever was to start with. I am seeing a therapist every 3 weeks but I cant do it. I dont like to open up to somone I dont know. Like I know I am on here but its different in a room for an hour with a random.. I dont like to telling my family my **** because they have enough problems without all my problems ontop aswell. I love him so so much but I cant stop as much as I want to.

Therapists dont help
I cant talk to family at all
I cant stop cutting
I worry 24 7 about my anxiety and whether I will make it through the day tomorrow.

Im so so scared :'(

[RainLover71]

We talked before and then you stopped posting so i thought everything was Ok but obviously it's not.Australia has excellent services avaliable--you need to make an appointment and go and get some therapy because you and your family are suffering.Your family would be devistated if something were to happen to you.Please don't wait and seek the help.Send me a message if you want to talk.

[mammo]

You need to seek help with this and it sounds like your dad would jump at the opportunity to get you help.  This is ruining your life, and you have the opportunity to get help and stop cutting......please take advantage of this!  There is so much help for you, and I know it's scary but you can and must get help.  This will not get better on it's own.....we all need help at some point and that's okay!  Many teens parents don't want to admit their child has a problem, so you are very fortunate that your dad cares so much.  His heart is breaking....but so is your's.  Sharing with us was a big step, now take the next and ask your dad to get you help.  We're always here for you, and I wish you all the best!