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Avatar universal

I can't believe this.

My mom left last Saturday on a whim because my brother called and said he was coming to get her for the holiday and I could not come. It was out of the blue. But it got worse. As soon as she was there 24 hours my brother had her cut the phone service off and the internet, but I got it back from my neighbor's signal. WELL NOW THEY ACTUALLY CUT THE HEAT OFF. I cannot believe this. If I was not high on Adderall right now I would be suicidal. Now, I'm taking it just  to keep from offing myself. I just got OUT OF A PSYCH WARD two days ago for suicidal thoughts because of what they were doing. I have no car. No money. This my mom's house. What really *****? IS THAT I GOT A JOB OFFER TODAY. A contact on FB wants me to write a story on his business and I was going to pitch it to The Macomb Daily. (I am a journalist.) I could have made $800. I could have got my self esteem back. I WANTED TO STOP USING then. Shortly after this, I noticed it was cold...the heat was off. It is now 60 in here and I live in Michigan. It's getting down to 35 tonight and the next few days of course. In the hospital I talked to my Mom and she was so sweet and nice. She nothing threatening. Then she asked if I wanted talk to my brother. I said No...that's when he started threatening me. The last thing he said was "we need more time to think about options." They did not want to throw me out in the cold. WELL IM IN THE COLD NOW! I have no phone so I cant call them and they cant contact me. So how was I supposed to know what they decided? I am actually glad I am on the Adderall. I can't feel the pain. I am numb. I don't have many left, so eventually I will have to do something. For now, I'm gonna be happy freezing my *** off. What would anyone do in this situation? Throw the pills out like I was going to do if they out the phone back on so I could work? This is too much pressure for anyone to handle. I just hope I don't suicide when the four pills I have left run out. I only had 8 coming out of the hospital. Somehow God has to intervene. Thanks for listening.
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Avatar universal
I will stop bitching. All I can do is hope for the best. Bipolar is so bad for impulsivity and just generally being ****** up. Addiction on top of it really makes things fun.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
OMG. It turned back on. I don't know what was wrong, but I sure as hell could not have fixed it. I have no clue on that stuff...God, I flip out easy. Things are still bad, but BETTER already.
Helpful - 0
1032715 tn?1315984234
Please try and calm down and think before you decide anything,Can you use your neighbours phone to help with the job you were offered.Remember message me anytime you want to talk,
Helpful - 0
662085 tn?1331345560
please claim down im glad something turned around for you. I'm sure i would be freaking out too but sadly your going to have to pull yourself together i hope you found someway to get to your job. I dont know everything about your situation but im guessing you have electicity again i dont know how long that will last but go buy a magicjack for your PC it will give you something then call anyone you know. Like i said i dont know the whole situation i can only hope things turn out better. If you have other family try to reach to them for surpport. Good luck and i hope everything turns out right for you.
Helpful - 0
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