Avatar universal

I dont feel like doing anything

Hi everyone. I have suffered witb anxiety and depression for years. Im female, 54 yrs old. Ever since the pandemic started i, like many others have felt anxious and depressed. It feels like everytime i feel a little better , i hear a news story or see something on fb and i get so depressed. And full of anxiety. I start to feel sick, i have been getting headaches, neck pain, and i just dont feel like doing anything. I feel like drinking and  i have been sober for 29 yrs . I take anti depressant and sometimes kolonopin at night. I do residential cleaning but lost alot of clients and work very little now. I recently moved back in with my husband after a 2 yr seperation. We are getting along pretty good. But he has health issues and it just feels like everyone is sick. It feels like theres nothing to look forward too. My older sister passed away before the pandemic (not from covid) and i really didnt get to grieve that lose because of covid lockdowns and i was so scared
. I was living with my 27 yr old daughter then and she and i were botb home. She worked from home and we did alot of walking and zooms with freinds and family. But now she is living on her own ( not to far from me) but i miss living with her. It just feels like if she or any of my family or friends wants to do something( shop, yard sales game nights etc) i just dont feel like it. I force myself sometimes. But its so damn hard. I try to paint( love acylics) but then my neck will start hurting or i.ll get tension headaches. I.ll start to think maybe i have covid or cancer and i went to doc who seemed more concerned about the anxiety and getting a stupid mammogram then she did of the headaches. She ordered bloodwork but now im terrified of getting it. I keep thinking maybe i,ll die of something. I found a councelor online but i havent gotten in touch yet cause i dont feel like it. Im writing in this forum because i like it here and im hoping some people can relate. Thanks for reading. Sorry for lengthy post.

4 Responses
973741 tn?1342342773
I'm really sorry you are feeling that way.  I get lethargic too sometimes.  And not being able to get yourself moving can be part of depression.  Something that helps me is to make a list of 'to do's'.  Keep it short.  If you don't accomplish the list, the things you don't mark off go to the next day.  Circle something you were already supposed to do.  So,  if reaching out to the online therapist is to do, then you put it on your list of maybe 3 or things you have to do tomorrow and take a deep breath and do it.  Action feels good once you've gotten off the anxiety ledge of taking the step. Even when you have no energy, if you just do that couple of things on the list, you will be making progress.  :>)  We just want progress here.  

I have had some health fears also.  One of them happens to be a mammogram.  ha.  I was literally forced into it at my last appointment of which I actually was glad as it pushed me to do it when I'd have blown it off otherwise (due to the anxiety.  And they found nothing.  Your doctor is trying to care for you.  Anxiety can sure hold us back!  It may be part of the problem with your physical symptoms like headache.  I know I get tension when stressed and anxious and headaches then follow.  Have one right now, actually!  

I also avoided some dental work I needed.  I was a hot mess every time I thought about plowing ahead and getting it. But then the pain got to me and I HAD to.  Took three appointments and some work at them . . . but I am all good now.  Teeth are cleaned and up to date and the big issue was fixed (via root canal).  I had an infection they said for a very long time.  Just festering.  I"m really lucky nothing back happened.  You know? My inaction could have had a much worse outcome.  So, that's just my story.  I fretted about making the call, worked myself all up about it but at the end of the day, it wasn't bad once I did.  Same with the mammogram.  

I would make a list tomorrow, reach out to the online therapist.  And let me ask you.  Would taking anxiety and depression as the disorders at the heart of your pain and problems help you?  Could you do it if treatment for them resulted in your feeling better?  I'd do some things like go for a walk or get some fresh air and exercise.  That is proven to be helpful to our mood. And what about some of the apps like Calm or headspace?  Be kind to yourself.  You'll get through this.  I have really tough days.  but then there is a tomorrow.  You have plenty of tomorrows to turn this around.  hugs.  
Thank you so much.. i will do that!! And keep you posted.
Avatar universal
I can relate as well.  A medication really sent me downhill many years ago now, and I've turned avoiding into a lifestyle.  It doesn't work.  It makes things worse.  They fester.  I agree, covid has made everything harder for everyone, and the news has been bad for a few years now.  I'd say the easy thing, which s to stay off Facebook, but I know, I could say the same thing about this website sometimes too and habits are habits and it gives some contact, even if a lot of it is negative.  But Facebook can be tough (and Twitter worse) so maybe cut down on it some.  Your daughter isn't gone, she's still there.  And you've gained back a husband.  Best of luck.
Thank you!!
Avatar universal
There was a time i also feel like that then i start jogging playing cricket and everything comes to normal so do something you love spend time with your love ones avoid looking at any type of bad news and be happy.
Thanks and have a nice day.
Avatar universal
I can totally relate, I will be 54 in December. I was in a bad depression before Covid hit and I had just left an abusive relationship of 24 years long. I was in a  woman's shelter for a month then found the little place I am renting. I thought that getting out of that relationship and getting a place of my own would help me get out of my depression, but the stay at home order came only 2 weeks after I moved in here.  My depression got so much worse and isolation became my thing and still is. I was hospitalized for my depression and was discharged a month ago, and even though my meds have been changed and increased several times, I just can't seem to dig myself out of this depression as well as my anxiety which my meds have been increased for that too. But it seems I have 1-2 okay days then something happens and I'm having a complete meltdown. I wish I had an answer for you, I don't because I am in it as well, but I sure can relate.
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