5063398 tn?1363044564

I don't know what to do...

I'm 17 years old, I'm a senior in High school, and I live in average middle class home. Nothing is really wrong with my life, I'm healthy, attractive, popular, and intelligent, but even though I have a family that loves me, a group of friends at school, and a best friend, i still can't help but feel so sad all the time. This feeling of being so low started about a year ago, I think what sparked it was when I broke up with my boyfriend. But the thing is, even when I was still with him several months before, I remember sitting in my room and wondering how is it possible that i'm still not happy. So I know that this sadness was creeping up on me long before I broke up with him. I find myself sulking around more and more, and a genuine laugh is so rare for me now. I used to text everyday, and now I text maybe once a week. I've also gained 7 pounds, and I have gotten more acne. I'm a lot more emotional, little things make me break down and cry. I cry all the time, sometimes I'll start wailing when nobody's home, but there's no particular reason why. My best friend contacted my dad and told him she thinks I need to see someone professional, she's the only one who really knows what's going on. I tell the rest of my friends excuses almost daily, but I think they're catching on. My parents asked me if I was depressed, and I lied and reassured them I was fine. I just don't want to cause anybody trouble, I don't want anyone to worry about me, but it's becoming a problem. Lately, I've been having thoughts of suicide, even though I know i'd never really do it. I keep thinking things like "what's the point of even being alive", or "I just want to end this suffering". It's so scary that these thoughts are actually running through my mind, a year ago I would've never imagined I'd get to this point. It seems like it's just getting worse and worse, so I don't know if i should start seeking help or stay strong and push through. I really don't want to take medication, I don't believe in that. And starting therapy doesn't seem like it's worth it since i'm moving away to college in less than 4 months. I don't know what I should do.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Hey Rosie,
I am currently battling depression myself and although I'm a bit older than you (27 next month - yikes!), there are a lot of similarities in our symptoms. I've gotten 2 raises and a promotion in the past year, I have the most absolutely wonderful girlfriend a guy could ever ask for (who has helped me tremendously through this process), I've strengthened my family relationships, and the list goes on. My life sounds great to most, yet for whatever reason, I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into a hole of depression and anxiety that without proper treatment, I don't think I'd be able to get out of. My first serious battle with depression floored me for about 3 or 4 months to the point that I COULDNT get out of bed in the morning. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. It was day after a day of misery, worry, and panic. I felt alone, scared, and tormented by my own psyche. I eventually broke down and saw my doctor who prescribed some antidepressants and most importantly, talked to me. Getting those feelings off my chest and into an ear that you can trust and is willing to listen, in my opinion, is half the battle. My depression stemmed originally from feelings I suppressed through most of my college years that had I expressed at the time, may have kept me from getting as bad as I am today.

You said you have a best friend? Talk to him/her. Don't be afraid to talk to your parents either. I know its not easy, but I promise you will feel better when you do. And from there, see a doctor. I always feared taking medicine with the thought that I would become a "zombie", be a shell of myself,and be viewed as a mental patient by those who I confided in. But my girlfriend put this in perspective for me the other day:

What if..

you have high blood pressure? take medicine
you have a heart condition? take medicine
you have diabetes? take medicine
you have depression or anxiety? take medicine

Regardless of how taboo or stigmatized it may seem, depression and anxiety are illnesses just like anything else and its important to treat them properly.

Take it from me, the guy who learned the hard way.

Be positive, be open, be honest with yourself and your loved ones, and get some help.

Best of luck!
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Avatar universal
Hi Rosie, I'm sorry you ate feeling bad. You will not be a burden to your parents if you open up and share your feelings. They would want to help you. They want you to be happy. I think it is important to see a therapist especially since you are going off to college. You can get a head start before you leave and you might even start to feel better. It would be nice to start your college years feeling happy. They also have therapists at college for you to go to should you feel that would be helpful once you get there. Please seek some help, sometimes we can't do it on our own and we might not get better without help. My son saw a therapist at college for a year and it helped him out a lot. He didn't even have to pay at the college he went to.

I know you don't want to take meds. If you feel things get worse you may want to consider this. You would see a psyc dr for this. If you find this to be the case at school, your parents can help you find a dr close to campus.

Hormones can also contribute or cause the feelings your having. I would go to your dr and have some bloodwork done for this. Have your vit d, vit b's and iron checked too. These can also contribute to the feelings your having. Fish oil really helps too,  take them faithfully. You probably don't feel like it but any kind of exercising, even walking gets your dopamine and endorphins going which helps with your mood and energy. When my daughter participates in track I can't tell you what a better mood she is in, every day. Compared to when she isn't exercising. So I have seen first hand how well it works. having enough sleep at night and eating regularly is very important.

Remember the most important thing that your parents want for you is to be happy. From what you describe there is no doubt in my mind that they would do anything to help you. They would never consider you a burden.

Take good care of yourself, love yourself and do everything in your power to get better, to feel happy and excited to go off to college. Be proud of your accomplishments.

Congratulations on your college acceptance. Always know that we are here for you. There is also a teen forum on this site as well. Ck back and let us now how you are doing. My best to you, Crystal
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5063398 tn?1363044564
Thank you, it means a lot getting advice from someone more experienced with this.  
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5063398 tn?1363044564
Thank you, I think I will talk to them about it.
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