I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. Did writing this out help your depression? Sometimes writing stuff just helps us process it or gives us a new perspective.
Best wishes. I hope that 2011 is good for you all too.
Not too long ago, I forget what was goin on in my life but I remember someone telling me that stuff about...we are only given what we can handle in life. Im not a physical person usually but I think I invisioned slapping them a few times. Try and take it day by day. My life goal is to one day LIVE and not just survive the day. You sound like a pretty darn tuff woman. Hang in there. Take care of YOU along the way. Your son is so lucky to have you in his life. Be strong, you can do it. Good luck and may tomorow be a better day. Daisy
It sounds like you've had more than your share of trouble this year. I know you want to be there for your children, but at some point you also have to let them take responsibility for their actions. I know it's not my place to give advice on something so personal. I only know from experience that the best way to be there is to show your love and support. It is a lot for you to take on all of the stress and problems that your grown children are dealing with also. I am a mother so I know that it's hard to not want to handle it all yourself. I hope I haven't offended you. I hope that everything gets better very soon for you and your family.
Hi - I am not at all offended. After I typed all that, I noticed that the common demominator was MY SON...and my oldest to be more specific. I definetly need to let go of some of the burden and realize that everything usually works out...His unemployment issue was a small mistake on the agencys part. I was having a STROKE all day because I felt like it was going to put more of a financial and personal burden on me because I won't let him be homeless. but, again, that is MY problem...I need to practice letting go....or START letting go. Thanks for reading the long blog and taking the time to respond.
All advice is welcome with me since I obviously have made some bad choices along the way.
Take care, Merry Christmas
I started laughing when you said you "wanted to slap them sometimes", the people telling you that we don't get more than we can handle...I'm like ENOUGH already...LOL.
The unemployment worked out..but I did not find out until late this afternoon....Ended up he couldn't call till 3pm and I was assuming he could call at 8am. I was a wreck at work. Thank you for wishing me luck...I NEED IT...LOL.....Life does bring problems and always will. I'm just praying for alot LESS in 2011. I actually think I am going to drop to my knees on Jan 1st and PRAY for peace and serenity for 2011. Actually, I should start dropping to my knees NOW. Thanks again,
Merry Christmas. Oh - we find out Friday if he will see his son for Christmas...or BEFORE would be great!
And what if he doesn't get visitation rights? Have you contingencies in place for this?
It all sounds rather messed up but at the root of it your sons drug addiction problems. Or probably the underlying issues (and the maladaptive coping strategies of both your boys).
Your eldest son sounds as though he's getting reasonable support. He still doesn't sound all that stable though and that would be a huge concern. As he is now getting a wage he also needs to be accountable for his own expenses. You shouldn't be bailing him out all the time.
Your youngest needs to grow up. I would have left him in jail. Drunk drivers kill innocent people. It almost sounds as though he is acting out to get attention which you are giving your eldest son. This power struggle is also potentially very dangerous. This son also needs professional support.
I would make sure that your sons get the support that they need and then set limits on their behavior, etc. I think that it is intolerable that you don't let them learn from the consequences of their mistakes. I don't think it's healthy that you enable them to continue doing what they are.
Yes, they are your kids but let them take responsibility for themselves and their actions. If they can't then involve the appropriate agencies.