I want to hurt my boyfriend hurt me

[brokenheart88]

I want to deal with pass issues that set me off and make me angry. How do I deal with the anger?

[Camamtin]

Hi, I sympathize with what you're going through.  Anger is hard to control and often makes one feel guilty because you end up hurting the people you love most even when you don't want to.

Your anger probably stems from past hurts that go way back and your boyfriend is triggering these emotions.

My advice is to find a great counselor and one who knows how to do EMDR.  Read about it on EMDR.com to find out more.  

It has been so helpful to me and surprisingly fast.  It's the only thing I've ever tried that actually works!  I'm also on an antidepressant while I'm pulling up some traumatic events so that I can have some control over my strong emotions.

Let me  know if you have any questions about EMDR.

[mammo]

Anger is like a cancer, and it will eat you up inside.  I know this is cliche, but the best thing you can do is forgive people who hurt you.  What this means is laying down the anger and walking away in peace.  It doesn't make what the person did to you right, nor does it mean you need to be friends or even speak the person again.  It merely means that you will not allow the anger to consume you.  If this is due to a broken heart, know that everything happens for a reason, and I promise you that one day you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in this person. I've learned this the hard  way, and if I had not been able to do this, I probably wouldn't be here today.  I wrote people off in my past that hurt me dearly and just went on with my life.  Today, they all want to see and talk to me, but I have no desire to see or talk to them.  No hard feelings, no hurt, no anger, just nothing.  What goes around comes around, and now they wish they had not hurt me, but I moved on and they have not.  My son tells me that allowing people to anger you is giving away your power, as only you can choose how you will feel.  Anger. stress and anxiety are really bad for you physically.  There is a book called "Deadly Emotions" which is medically, scientifically, and religious based.  Once you learn what these emotions are doing to your body you won't allow them to happen.

[goodgardenpeas28]

the best thing I ever learned about anger is kind of cliche but I learned it in the psych ward, If you become angry count to ten then think about what you were planning to do about your anger and weigh the consequences good and bad of what you were going to do. It helps you to get perspective on the irrational behaviors associated with anger like yelling at people or hitting someone something or even hurting yourself. For example if you were going to cut yourself you would count to 10 and then think ok what are the good things about this: i will feel good for a little while, its instant. then you think about the bad things: it will leave a scar, I will be disappointed in myself, others will worry about me etc and weigh which one is more important and if the bad outweighs the good then you don't do it. I also suggest getting professional help with your anger issues...when I was in the psych ward as a teenager they taught us a lot of things about dealing with anger management and a professional could really help you~