I'm going to kill myself if this keeps going on.

[Adamfournames]

I'm a 17 year old boy, and im slowly losing my will to live, I've suicide a few times before but I've been to scared to fully commit. Why do i want to kill myself? Well, I've grown up in hell, my parents are a dad who knows he married the wrong woman and has a short temper, and a ******* ***** for a "mother" she's honestly insane, she's a manipulative ***** who I'm convinced suffers from dementia,  she is determined to ruin my life, i dont know why, but it probably has something to do with the fact she wants to have sex with me, she is constantly grabbing my ***, and makes a point of bending over, or spreading her legs when i walk into the room, she spat in my face when i was younger,  I actually vomited onto the floor it was so ******* disgusting...  She constantly manipulates situations to ensure my dad gets pissed off with me, and my dad is blinded by his insecurity,  i know he has and probably still is cheating on my mom online, and probably in the real world too, but this ***** is just evil, i just want to escape,  I'd do anything to escape this hell, but i can't work because my parents moved me away to another country and i don't have the right to work here, and i want to finish high-school before i leave,  but i don't think i can do this **** anymore, im sick and tired of crying every single ******* day, and not being able to do things, have friends or play sport...  My mom is an English ***** who misses her home and wanted a daughter,  and she got one...  three years after i was born...  I'm treated like ****, im almost 18 and i still get shouted at and slapped in the face like im 13, and even though the physical abuse is mostly my dad, its my mom who makes him do it, she plays my dad like a ******* fiddle, i just want to have a normal ******* life, i live in Canada,  is there any way i can just escape my parents? Because that ***** will actually win, she'll get me to kill myself, something she's wanted since the day i was born, i want to  start collecting as much evidence as i possibly can against her, but whats the point? There's no way of knowing when she'll suddenly flip and go batshit ******* crazy, and i dont know how or what would happen if I tried to take my family to court, if i lose I'll just kill myself anyway, and emotional abuse is so hard to prove... Or even explain, how can u convince someone that everyday your mom does whatever she possibly can to fkn ruin your life, and i get little to ******* no support from my parents, my dad refuses to help me get what i need to let me work, and even if i had what i needed,  i would have no way of getting to my job, my parents certainly would never take me... I feel trapped, i want to live on the streets...  But i dont want to die, it just feels like the only way out... I wish she would die... I would give my life of i could just watch that ***** die before i did...    

[Kom_p]

Hello adamfournames,
Surely that appears like some hell ! and definitely the above comment suggesting separation appears better than self harming and suffering in the same rot ! Good news is that once you'll turn 18 you wont be called a kid-to-be-bound -with-parents anymore...you will be eligible to work anywhere...earn your living..be independent.

Adversities test our character and so far you have suffered alot...you can free yourself any time you want...i mean it ANYTIME...

Meanwhile i suggest....you focus on resolving your strong (justified) negative feelings- hatred, resentment and anger...make your confrontations to your family members if need be......this is important for a fresh start !  

Simultaneously, do visit a mental health professional...your transition towards a better life can become little smoother.

God Bless you tc !

[king4278]

I would suggest establishing boundaries between you and your parents so that you don't have to be controlled by them and go find some therapuetic help. Trust me, killing yourself is not the answer.