I'm lost

[Sunshinex_x]

I haven't been feeling well, mentally, these past few months. I don't enjoy the things I used to and I can't find anything new to enjoy either. I used to love hanging around my family for parties or get-togethers but I don't feel that way anymore, and the same with going to shops. Shopping for anything or walking around the town was always my favorite thing to do but now I feel myself getting anxious and afraid around people, no matter who, and I dread going out and doing things. I don't even like hanging with my friends and just being around people in school is becoming a drag, but I don't look forward to coming home either. I don't have anything to do at home, no activities, nothing really. I don't know what to do, I don't want to tell my guardian, I don't want people to know the way I'm feeling. I'm just lost.

[specialmom]

I do agree with you, Brice that a lot of insurance and plans operate that you go to the general practitioner first and get a referral from there.  This is the way it works in a lot of places and I actually do think that general practitioners can treat depression and anxiety.  Not everyone needs to go to a psychiatrist.  That's my opinion.  GP's are very well versed these days and more complex cases are referred on.  It's a place to start.  And I recommend that frequently.  Hope this helps the poster.  Some people do better with baby steps to getting help and getting help is the bottom line.  I'm a big proponent for talk therapy as well and I know that this is something I also get a list of recommended people from my gp for.  But sadly, that usually comes down to who will take your health care plan for any type of coverage of the expense.  

To the poster, it does sound like mild depression which you can overcome.  If you have tried things like eating well, exercise and meditation . . .  do talk to your doctor about your symptoms to take the next step to feeling better.  Hope you do that soon!

[Paxiled]

Just for general help to anyone reading this thread, I spent most of my life on the form of insurance called HMOs.  They always require referrals.  If you see someone who doesn't take insurance, however, you never need a referral, and as I've learned, the best psychologists and psychiatrists don't usually take it -- once they develop a reputation and clientele they usually stop taking it because they can make a lot more money without it and it's not like surgery or hospitalization and so there are so many wealthy people in the US who can afford this.  I'm poor, and I will never again see a psychiatrist or psychologist who takes insurance because they just aren't very good.  This is sad.  When I was young, and I'm old now, doctors and therapists didn't make any more money than the guy who ran the local pizza joint, so they had no incentive to be lousy docs who book more patients than they can handle.  Our family docs in those days made housecalls, and spent as much time with each patient as they wanted.  That doesn't happen anymore in most of the country, and it's very hard to make the kind of money docs and shrinks have come to expect and go to school to earn if they spend enough time with you to actually treat you and not some mythical hypothetical generalization if they take insurance.  If they don't, they can charge a fortune but spend as much time with you as they want and still make what they wish to make.  This is just current reality.  I have switched to insurance now that is PPO rather than HMO and it does not require referrals except for a very few things.  We can believe anything we want to believe, but studies show more truth than our belief systems.  If you want to see what's true out there, read books written by retired practitioners who no longer need to maintain their reputation to earn a living.  None of us can tell if our doctors or dentists or psychologists are good at what they do or know very much about what we are suffering from.  So I stick to my guns, which is, I thought my docs and dentist were great until I learned they weren't, much to my harm, when I saw better docs.  Belief is much more powerful than truth.  Peace, everyone, and here's hope that we can move to a health care system that is aimed at our health within our lifetimes.

[Bubulous]

Yeah pax this ended up being a pretty good example of what the original poster can expect as when that question first pops in their mind that they may need some help with their emotional health.  Everyone will be gambling as it were no matter what and whether they actually even take the first step towards following that thought to the actual act of exploration is still always partly belief which can be a major factor in people who have seen the worst outcomea of not managing our mental health.  That those two factor alone have a spectrum of which variables such as truth and faith play into all the while at any moment it can all be futile because the young poster could have started this and immediately got a call from an old friend who asks. If she wants to go with her and her family to a warmer location for a week and the girl gets excited and the sadness may leave of what she needed was social comfort or she might say yes, not feel better but get to the warmer place and feel better not knowing it is a seasonal affective issue...
This post may have been furile as well but I was inspired to write all of being an outside observor to you and Brice as the thread and focus changed and I am not picking at all because I have did so bad on a persons question, although coming in with compassion and patience. That moderators have deleted everythimg, reposted the question, and sent a pm to the person apologizing for me.  I was just bored waiting on my ride to show up and thought o would pick at you.  Ive ways been impressed by your work and I had to take a break for a while but when I left I knew that the mental health forums woulf be well taken care of.

[Paxiled]

You're only 15 according to your profile.  If that's correct, you're possibly just going through one of many life changes you already have gone through and will go through many more as you age.  We change.  Things you liked at 6 you didn't like when you were 8.  So it's natural that the things you liked before would eventually become tiresome as you move on to different things.  You're at that difficult period of life, the teenage years, when you're too old for childish things and too young for adult things but are having adult tastes and consciousness.  It can be hard for some as this happens.  Very few have the same friends by college they had at 15, because as your world gets bigger and you meet new people you realize the people you were stuck with knowing when you didn't get around much didn't turn out to be your true preference.  It's possible there's more going on than this, but this is a part of it.  And it will happen again.  What it sounds like is that you don't have a passion in life yet that motivates you so you've been driven by family and friends.  That passion for something will come and will change over time.  When you say you have nothing to do, with all the things there are to do in this world, well, that's what I mean by a lack of passion.  If it feels like you're really lost and you're too shy about it or insecure to talk it out with your best friend, you might think about seeing a professional therapist or counselor who can both comfort you that this is how life goes and tell you if it might be something more than that, such as budding depression or hormonal fluctuations or the like.  

[brice1967]

I am sorry that you are going through this.  I have some experience with the things you are experiencing and I think I know the battle all too well.  The advice I am going to give you may seem 'easier said than done" but I would like for you to hear it.  I needed to listen to it 1000 times before it actually made sense.

"Enjoy the little things."  I put myself into the position where everything was a "big deal" and I was allowing everything negative to guide my path.  It was miserable.  What I disallowed myself to do was to witness the little things and enjoy them.

I thought everything was negative.  Couldn't have been further from the truth.  One day I noticed a small child's laughter.  I realized I could have said "what is that stupid kid laughing at... life stinks and that little kid knows nothing!"  At the same time I realized, "Whatever that little kid is laughing about are the same things I used to enjoy.  Why am I not paying attention to those things?"

I went and got some professional help.  I suggest you do the same and start with your regular physician.  There are dozens of different roads to take from there and your regular physician knows you best and which road to try first.

Most importantly, don't ever give up on you or your happiness.  Whether you believe this or not, you and only you are in charge of your happiness.  You are worth the investment in your own happiness.  Don't be afraid to reach out.  

[Sunshinex_x]

Thank you so much, reading this has given me hope!

[Paxiled]

I'd give one caveat to this -- regular physicians have no clue about mental health.  It's not what they study in school, and it's not emphasized.  What they know is how to give out pharmaceutical products.  Psychologists are the ones to see for this kind of thing.  You would see your doctor if you suspect you have something physiological going on that can cause the symptoms you're having.

[brice1967]

Sunshinex, I am not sure what paxiled is trying to say in reference to what I said.  I want to make it abundantly clear to you that seeing your physician is not for treatment.  Your general physician knows you better than anyone else.  He/she can conduct a few tests (Blood panels) and determine if something is wrong there.  With me, that was partly the case.  From there, your general physician can put you in the hands of a mental health professional that he/she trusts.  This works great when you have a physician that you see regularly.  medication alone will most likely not solve your problems unless there is some kind of deficiency in your blood panels.  Any more questions, feel free to reach out.  There is hope.

PS.  Nowhere did I infer that your regular physician would be the end of your problems.  I simply said "START" there.

I hope you find peace.

[Paxiled]

I didn't mean to raise a ruckus, brice.  I've been on this site a long time and a recurring theme is people going to their general doc and the doc does treat them for their mental illness-- and messes it up royally because they don't know how to do it.  When I was a lot younger and started on this idiotic anxiety road, general docs referred you to psychologists and psychiatrists if they determined you had mental health issues.  That stopped being the case a long time ago -- they often want the money for your treatment now and so put you on medication, because that's all they know how to do but don't really know much about the medication.  If you look at the archives of this forum you will see just a ton of tales of people who got really really messed up getting treatment for mental illness from their general docs.  I completely agree that it is very important to get a complete work-up from your doc to make sure nothing physical is going on, as many physiological illnesses and deficiencies can cause what would otherwise be diagnosed as a mental illness.  So I don't disagree with you, I was just trying to let the poster know that seeing a doctor will not be the best thing to do if mental illness is the problem, although some general docs really are quite good at this stuff, most just aren't and really really don't care.  

[brice1967]

I don't know as if you're causing a ruckus.  Around here, there is no way to get an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist without getting a referral  from a general physician.  Insurance certainly won't cover it and I have found that psychologists/psychiatrists like to have a general run down on what a persons health is really like.  

When a person concerned about their mental health sees their general physician, they can discuss all of the avenues that are available.  if your general physician isn't up to that, you find a new physician.  And I'd suggest that if you have a primary care physician that 'just doesn't care' its time for you to find a new doctor.  My doctor cares.  if he didn't, he wouldn't be my doctor.

Nowhere did I say "leave your mental health in the hands of your primary care physician.'  I thought I laid that out pretty clearly.

[Paxiled]

I don't know where you live, but the type of insurance you have determines whether you need a referral to see a psychiatrist.  You never need one to see a psychologist, as they are not medical doctors.  I'm glad you like your general doc.  As for insurance, maybe you live in a rural area, as your profile says you live in Wyoming.  Most of us live in more populated areas where there are a lot of practitioners and a lot of insurance options, but the best psychiatrists and the best psychologists don't take insurance in urban areas anymore and few work at all in rural areas.  The best docs go where the money is.  Again, congrats on having a great doc, but maybe he's really not so great -- maybe you just think he is.  I used to think I had great docs and a great dentist, too, until I learned I didn't.  So it goes.

[brice1967]

No, I'm pretty sure I have a great doctor.  He hasn't killed me off.  He gives me sound advice.  He has sent me to specialists when he doesn't have an answer.  I'll keep him.

[Mahm7]

Mahm7
69male with sevre anxiety attacks, Dipression, emotional pains, frustration, anger, aggression,
And headatch. Now it become treatment resistant sickness. So many AD tried but suffered badly with side effects and damaged both eyes, constipation and many other physical sickness besides extended mental sickness. Tried CBT and ECT too but nothing seems help. Now just taking Clonazipan 1.25mg at night to sleep and 0.125mg once or twice in a day as needed.
Since last one month my sleep badly disturbed and not able to sleep for nights then some time get some sleep. For 3-4 hours and wakeup with extrem Dipression, worries and agitated mind. Tired of visiting doctors, Psychitrist's, therapists now. Really don't know what to do?? How to live this miserable live fe. Lost all family, friends and children support. Now helpless, hopeless, worthless, sleepless, isolated, fearful, and what not!!!  The continued in family misunderstandings and crisis are daily triggers. No solution available as no one wants to talk to other. Can anyone have any suggestion or solution. Married sons already abandoned both aged and sick parents having no resources in hand nor energy to continue living like this...... Miserable life.
Needs support, guidance and help please.

[Paxiled]

Mahm, you're kind of getting in on someone else's thread here.  You'd get more advice probably if you started your own post.  But getting old is really hard for everyone and almost impossible for those of us who get old suffering from anxiety and depression.  We're already isolating ourselves and then people drift away.  I'm 64 and going through something different but with similar results.  Everyone needs to have a passion in life, as I told the young person whose thread you jumped in on, and if you don't have that or can't pursue it because of illness life can be really really empty.  What I would do if I were you first is figure out what happened a month ago to disrupt your sleep.  Benzos won't really be a good long-term fix for sleep problems -- there are milder things to do such as increase exercise, meditate, try milder natural remedies.  None of us can change your physical circumstances.  If medication doesn't work for you, have you ever tried holistic medicine?  And trying CBT once doesn't mean you should give up on therapy -- perhaps you need a different kind.  Right now you seem to badly need a therapist to talk to, and CBT people don't do that.  And just because one CBT therapist didn't work for you doesn't mean none will.  And remember, triggers are always there but those of us with anxiety and depression make them into big deals -- it's our thinking that's the biggest problem.  Are you sure you've exhausted all forms of medication?  There's an awful lot out there.  Your dose of clonazepam is very low, which is good in that this is a very tough drug to stop taking and really doesn't solve anything, but if you need immediate solace while you seek help you're probably not taking enough of a dose for it to really work.  Can you list all the antidepressants you've taken and how they've failed you?  Perhaps someone can offer something you haven't yet tried.