Im sick of my friends worrying about me!

[shyguy1080]

I've had depression since i was 21. Last week, i was drunk and talking to a friend on facebook, and i said stupid stuff saying that since i belived no woman is attracted to me, i was just a lost cause and wanted to shorten my life by trying to catch HIV. Now he's like so worried, and my uncle is worried about me cause he say a post of me saying "struggleing with depression." What does he care? Im not his son, im not even blood related to him, he's my step-moms brother.. He has two sucessfull kids both are married. Same with my sister. ME? I have no college degree, my jobs suck, im a very unnattractive person, i feel women don't go for me.. Im justified of feeling like crap all the time. Why is it some people in my life are worried about me, im tired of this, i dont think they should be, heck im a loser. Granted i live on my own and stuff, still...

[shyguy1080]

Yea, i know really?

[mammo]

Well, there you go.  You, and your step-mom have it all figured out.  Who knew it was this simple?

[RiskCapital299756]

Hey man it's me again. You know what? I got a great idea if you are not yet doing this already. Well I was thinking about starting a internet depression group meeting where we all can support each other and build each other up. Let me know if you like the idea or have any suggestions regarding that. Thanks dude.

[RiskCapital299756]

Hey Shyguy I too have had low self esteem all my life and this manifested into depression from when i was a teenager to now as a young adult at 29. I have alot of problems and when we don't work to fix them it only gets worse. If you need an understanding and compassion from a peer your age you have it here man. We can get through this together. I have thought about suicide alot lately and I really need to reach out and just cope with others around me who feel the same way. We can help each other. I too hate my appearance at times and man the list goes on. I would love to have you as a IM friend and we can support each other. I always treat my parents who care bad and those around me bad because MAMMO is right about when your depressed you don't want people to show love and caring to you. My problems extend beyond the normal. I had ADHD growing up and although i am extremely bright and talented I had done very poorely in school and work history because of not being able to focus and having depression has ruined my social, economic, and perfessional life. But i seek to make amends and fix this now head on by choosing to take responsibility for my actions and just do what i got to to to be successful and fix this. Head on.

[shyguy1080]

Well, i do apprciate you ladies giving me this advice.. I am still convinced that the female gender is still screwed up... Alot of women seem to adore dating "losers" My roomate is 25 years old and shes dating someone who is 41 years old, he still lives at home with his folks, has 5 d.u.i's on his record and can't seem to hold a job, yet she digs him because she thinks he's so handsome. My step-mom is so correct on women. She says women are so stupid. It's a looks thing. My step-mom said men are not the problem in the dating world today, its women. Women would rather date somone very good looking, a bad boy.. why? ? Because its a drama thing, women love drama because it gives them something to think about.. We men hate drama and have other things going on in our lives.Women however have too much time on their hands and dig drama. I know u all dont mean it saying im good lookign etc. Its a lie. Why am i still single then if im goodlooking? You all are lying. Women are attracted to bad boys, losers etc, because they love drama. I went through alot of drama this year because of a girl. She couldnt take a joke and therefore started drama. And since im not good lookign or a badboy she wouldnt go for me. Shes unaccepting person. I think women need to search their souls and realize they are the problem themselves. Women are why many good men are still left single and lonley... If women would learn to grow up and focus on other things than drama, then they wouldn't complain about these losers they are dating. Ladies, this is something your gonna have to think about.

[shyguy1080]

Yea im on meds. Zoloft and ativane. Its done the job where as panic disorder is concerned, but im still depressed... A friend of mine who's major is pyscology told me anti-depressants can work against you.. Which i find wierd because the purpose of those meds is to treat it. Yea, i tried posting in the experts forum, but i read that they are only allowed a certain amount of questions a day. So i'll try tomarrow. I know its going to sound wierd.. Its not so much of the last girl i met situation that has be down, its more of just not getting responses on Plentyoffish.com. I have a pic posted and a good profile made.. But still no sucess. That is why i dont feel attractive...

[imanaddict]

Woops! Sorry! I didn't realize I was in the Depression forum when I suggested that to you! LOL!!!!

[imanaddict]

Have you visited the expert forums here on MedHelp? I bet one of them can point you in the right direction, along with the depression forum. Have you ever been on meds for depression, or are you on them now?

[mammo]

People who care about you will worry regardless of how old you are.  But you're not acting like an adult when you talk about getting HIV on purpose.  If your parents determine you are incompetent, they do have the power to do whatever it takes to get you well.  A lot of us have endured great struggles in our lives, and are still dealing with the results.  Others have been able to let go of the past and move forward, and I hope you are able to do this.  You are living on your own, so you're doing okay for yourself, which a big accomplishment after much adversity.  I think you will be a powerful guy one day.  I hope you know also that it's not all about the physical appearance of a person, but that he is kind, caring, respectful of himself and others, and has a good sense of humor.  Women know that looks will fade, and want to know what they will have left, and if you possess these qualities, you're very attractive!  Women like men who are confident, and fun.  I know you've seen some not so good looking people with very attractive people, and wondered how that happened.  It was the qualities of the person that was found to be attractive.  I've known some extremely good looking men in my life who were empty inside.  Work on your self confidence, and moving forward with your life.  Stop worrying your friends, and learn to appreciate that you have friends who care about you, many have nobody.  You sound very angry, and probably have good reason to be.  Probably something from your childhood, but I don't know this.  I had to forgive in order to move on with my life, and at first I though "forgiving" meant telling the people who hurt me, it was okay, we'll be friends again, etc.  This is not forgiveness.  Forgiveness is refusing to be a victim any longer of this person(s), laying down the anger and walking away.  This doesn't mean that what they did was right, or that you ever have to speak to them again, it's letting go of the anger so that you can move on without this eating you up inside. You refuse to be a victim any longer.  You sound very bright, and I think you will do very well for yourself.  Take care...

[shyguy1080]

Actually, does anyone know of a hotline i can call to find depression support groups in my state?

[shyguy1080]

Its just that i am an adult and for people to worry about me is not treating me like one. Ok what i said to my friend was stupid, i didn't mean it, i was drunk at the time.. But he keeps worrying and threatens to tell my parents.. Yea like my parents have power to do anything, im 28, living on my own. People need to get off my case, i've delt with adversity alot in my life. One day i will be powerfull, and a very attractive guy!!!

[mammo]

It's very sad that you are surrounded by people who care so much about you, while others have nobody.  You need to appreciate all that you do have, including people who care.  You are in control of your life and only you can change it.  You can choose to feel like a loser or start doing something about it now.  You're calling the shots.

[mikeywilk]

Let people care for you.  I think that is a big problem that depressed people suffer from.  they (or we) don't want people to feel for us.  we can feel so emotionally cut off that we are unreceptive to love and caring.  when someone show's you love, you should show them that you love them also.  reward kindness and concern with kindness and concern.  you should quit drinking too.  alcohol is a known and classified depressant, that only worsens depression.  Women like men with goals, set some goals and accomplish them.  trying to catch HIV is wishing harm on yourself, and that is not healthy.  economy is tough.. be grateful that you have a job and perform it the best that you can do.  i lost a job from drinking too much and missing work.. and that stays on your employment record FOR EVER.