Is imy spouse depressed?

[ponka]

I am having doubt on this.. Is my spouse depressed.
We normally have regular fights twice or thrice in a month on some silly reasons.
The main things we fight are:
1) She asks me shall we go out for dinner, most of the times I accept it and go, but some times I say why cant we prepare here? we shall prepare here. I will help u. she gets angry and goes to bed and hence doesnt talk for 2 days with me :(.
2) She doesn't keep any object in a specific place. I always ask her to keep it in proper place. (If I make her to keep she again gets angry and no talk for 1-2 days)
3) She refuses to have sex with me. (may be we do it once in 15 days, where as I am ready for once in 3 days) even though we have after five mins she says I am tired and we shall stop :(
4) She says I am tired as soon as she comes back from her work. and not interested in doing any thing.
5) she throws her cloths some where and never picks up ( I need to keep them in the proper place)
6) She gets very angry very quickly ( she cant wait for bus, cant wait for food in the hotel etc) she gets angry quickly and starts scolding me like any thing with bad words...
7) For small things she says "you don't love me" where as I always love her and respect her feelings too.

By looking above things, I have doubt is she depressed? should i take her to doctor? pls advice....

[teko]

I think I would look at the relationship first. Ask her if she is depressed, she will know.

[ponka]

Hi both,

thanks for your inputs. infact we consulted a doctor and he had diagnised that she is in depression. she has started taking medicines and now our relationship has improved. she seems to be begin stable now...

[Hensley258]

Well, hard to say if she is suffering from depression. If she were suffering from Major Depression then there is a whole huge host of very profound symptoms she would be complaining about. (not always, but Major depression and anxiety is so painful that there would be other indicators I think)

I would advise you to do a google search for "symptoms of Major depression."

This will give a list of the signs and symptoms of a sufferer. You will find many sites that have links to such info as far as symptoms.

I suffer very bad very severe depression and anxiety, but I don't allow it to effect my relationship with my wife. (treatment I get helps a lot with that.)

Regardless, (as a man) I find it unreasonable that your wife only wants sex only twice a month. I understand that she may have her reason "as to why," but regardless she obviously is not understanding how important sex is to us men.

I give you credit for being so understanding with her, but I don't think I could do the same. Sex with my wife is very important to me and I could not be faithful to my wife if she was not sexually responsive to me at least 4 times a week.

I think that couples counsuling would be a good idea, "if you can talk her into doing that."

Was it always like this between you two?

[LeftCoastChick]

I would highly suggest couples' counselling, it really sounds like a mix of marital non-communication, marital issues and depression. Though we can't diagnose depression here, but can point you in the right direction. I would also suggest going to see your family doctor. When you are in a partnership, when it comes to depression both of you need an outlet, like a support group.

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