Depression Community
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Avatar universal

Is there any way to get out of this downward spiral?

I thought 2008 was a bad year, and, despite my cynical nature, went into 2009 expecting that things could only get better since I felt I was pretty much at rock bottom. I'm not one to complain, but it gets to the point where I need advice, but I don't want to ruin the image I've created of myself for the people I know. I'm now stuck asking help online, and I'll admit I'm not entirely comfortable with it. Nevertheless, I need to hear an opinion.

It's impossible for me to make this sound significant, it just seems that no matter how much these things may affect me, they're never going to be important for anyone else. So far this year, aside from feeling entirely isolated and alone (which I've made my peace with, it's been over a year) I've gone from spraining my ankle, to being back on my feet for a week before I am assaulted by someone 4 years older than myself. I find myself concussed and unable to focus on schoolwork. This happily coincides with my birthday, which I hardly noticed. To make things worse, the week after I have finally recovered from this attack is a much needed holiday, but I somehow end up throwing up and dehydrated for the duration of this. Starting school again, I have been going for 3 days before I find my ankle once again fractured, and myself unable to stand or distract myself with sports as I have been doing.

It feels like regardless of what I do or want, these things are just going to keep happening, and I find myself unable to do anything to combat it, which only makes me fall deeper and harder. I'm not at all superstitious, but I don't know how to get out of this cycle.
1 Responses
750172 tn?1256150676
I was reading your previous posts...Have you gotten in to see your GP for a referal?  Sometimes even GP's can prescribe you a low dose of an anti-depresant.(Just depends on your GP, and what they're willing to do).  If you haven't you need to.  Depression isn't something to be taken lightly and there is help available.  Whether you need meds or just counseling is something they can help you decide.  It must be rough not being able to keep up with your sports.  Working out is something I also do to help. (I've just recently been put on lexapro b/c I couldn't combate it on my own)
You said you don't want to "ruin the image you've created for yourself".  I understand that but, I also know it can become even more taxing on you when you're trying to keep up this "image".  It just adds more stress and makes you fall even deeper into depression b/c you get angry and upset at yourself b/c you can't live up to the image.  You need to find someone you can talk to.  I really would recommend finding a counselor.  It's nice just to have someone to bounce thoughts off of.  Especially, if they're not a part of your everyday life, you have nothing to hide from them.

I really hope things start looking up for you, best wishes...    
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