I've been waking up depressed & hopeless

[Firewind88]

For quite a while I have been waking feeling depressed, sad, helpless, powerless, and with a feeling
that there is no hope for changing this.  After I get out of bed I begin to feel better and most of the
time don't feel depresed for the rest of the day.

I am on medication and have had about 28 years of off and on therapy...mostly on. :)

An odd thing happened this morning, tho.  I woke feeling as I usually do, but after a few minutes,
I began to feel angry.  Strangely enough, the depression and all the above other feelings went
away.  (I thought I had found the magic "pill.")

But after maybe 10 minutes of that I felt very scared.  I think feeling angry brought about the fear but I'm not sure.

I wonder if I could use getting out my anger to help alleivate the depression?  If that is a possiblity,
how  would I do that without feeling scared?

I don't even know if this question makes sense.  Lately, I have gone from having a normal self-esteem
to feelings of worthlessness and second- guessing myself..  I am 62.  Have been dealing with a variety of disorders like agoraphobia, panic attacks, very bad anxiety and a few years ago diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.

I've been dealing with these various disorders for 30 years and through therapy and working on learning to like myself my self-esteem had actually grown over the years.    I don't ever remember feelings of feeling worthless or constantly secondguessing myself before. tho, before or after these different disorders began.

Thank you for any insight. Sharon S.
I started with one question and drifted into almost a 2nd one.  Maybe they are connected somehow.  It irritates me that I'm having these 2 new symptoms after all the work I've done.  Perhaps that is where the anger came from.

[kiki705]

Hi" for the past 17 years i wake up with anxiety very scared depressed is very hard to get out of bed and the longer i stay in bed the depresion anxiety gets worst, is only when i get out of bed and go out when depression anxiety fear starts wearing off, i am 52 years old and had a very bad child hood, i started drikink alcohol since i was 15 years old an became an alcoholic, i have being hooked with heroin,cocaine, methadone,canabis,valium, trankimazin, at the age of 38 i had to stop drinking alcohol i reached rock bottom,couldnt stop drinking and at the same time couldnt drink, is being 17 years i stop drinking and taking drugs, at the moment i am taking trakimazin and setraline, i have tried many kinds of untidepressants but none of them works, i have eating disoders, i have to force my self to eat, i feel worsless, a big emptiness boredom,useless, my life is a missery, i go to doctors but they dont understand what am going through, when i talk about my depression problems they just prescrive more pills, and i get the feeling they want to get rid of me, i have the feeling that they dont want to know or dont belive me, i cant even explain my self very well, everytime i go to see a doctor i have the fear of the doctors thinking that the onlything i want is a prescribtion for drugs, and i feel thats the reason i dont get proper help, i dont know what else to do, i would be very gratefull if someone could untherstand what i am going through and help me with this depression problem thank you.

[lobebugsc]

I'm 53 and I feel the way you do...but today was my first visit with mental health so I don't know what's wrong yet...I hope we can stay in touch ....maybe help each other

God bless you sweety

[PatsyinRaleigh]

Glad to hear you are taking positive action to deal with your issues.  Recording your thoughts is a great idea.  I hadn't thought about that.

Keep us posted on your progress.

Best regards from NC.

[Firewind88]

I've  just begun a journal on microcassette which I find very helpful
as I talk I can hear what I say and notice a stonger reaction than
when I write about it.  I did make an appt with a new therapist this
morning for next week.

Honestly, it feels as though I'm running on empty.  I've worked so
hard for so long and yet this past year was so difficult because of
external things and I think it used any reserve energy I had left.  And
of course, I'm older than I was in the beginning.  I had more energy
when this all began.

I've also begun to get more rest and doing more meditation.  I kind of
feel that I need to repenish after this past year.

I do indeed have thyroid problems for which I take medication.  I went to
my gp yesterday and was told my numbers or whatever are good regarding
the thyroid problem.

I think that the microcassette self therapy is helping too.  I had some things
over this past year that I left ungrieved.  I'm finding that I'm able to grieve by
talking on the tape.  I really appreciate you all taking the time to give me
input.  I've been feeling  kind of alone with all this for a long time.   People
around me get tired of hearing about the various things so I learned a long
time ago that if I want people in my life I have to not talk about it much.
Thankfully, I've almost always had a therapist so I've been lucky that way.
Warmest regards to you all from the Sunshine State, Florida.  Hope everyone
is staying warm enough. :)

[PatsyinRaleigh]

I have been experiencing many of the same issues as you.  I have been taking AD meds for about 10 years, received some therapy in the past but have struggled with the symptoms of depression even on medication.  Lately I have not been interested in anything.  I, too, am 62 years old and find myself thinking about my life and the purpose of my life.  

I go to bed late and sleep 10 or 11 hours and still have to make myself get out of bed.  I find myself "sleeping my life away" which I hate but find it difficult to do anything about.  I'm thinking I may need to change AD medication and talk with a therapist.

I empathize with you and hope you can find answers to your struggles.

[heyjude1]

Depression is an inbalance of brain chemicals and can be brought on from stress or just about anything.  I have found that my depression tends to run in waves and the mornings have always been the worse time for me.  I take antidepressants regularly and have learned to take my meds first thing when I wake up and my second dosage later in the afternoon with hopes it will carry me thru the night.

There is also melancholia depression, it is simply being depressed in the mornings...you can go on ine and read about it and see if it sounds like what you are experiencing.

[JG525]

Have you had your thyroid checked?  Some of these morning symptoms can be related to thyroid, which when hypo can cause depression and flying off the handle.  Could be it's just mental, but make sure you get thyroid and other hormones checked.

[therese83]

I think it is a good idea for you and

I would try getting the anger out (as you say) expressing your anger.  A good therapist can help you with this.

Good luck

[68suezq]

wow you have been having problems for a long time. i have been depressed and really scared since october.i have been sick and i dont trust doctors.i dont think these doctors really t know what they are doing.they just give you the medician that  they were taught to give. you know better than anyone and what works for you. dont like feelng this way either.you are not worthless.since you have had problems for so long .i think you should start a journal.write down how you are feeling,the meds you took,what envirement your in and what you ate every day.write down when your upset and where you were and what your doing.maybe over time you can piece of of it together. call the journal your magic pill.like i said you know your self better than anyone. sue

[boogieman]

Hi. It does sound like you have a combination of conditions. I too have anxiety and depressive disorders as well as ptsd. What does your therapist say about this? Sometimes the meds lose their effectiveness over time and others have to be introduced. Some physical conditions can cause these symptoms as well as supplements and non prescription meds. Hope this helps- GM