Learned Helplessness?

[jf175]

18, with (high school) graduation approaching. Every time I think of the future I just get a really downed mood and have these monologues in my head, sometimes arguing with myself. The first time this happened was a couple of weeks ago, a few days before my 18th birthday, where I was left in tears and wrath because I convinced myself that there was no need to attend highschool because eventually I would get a dead end job. I still believe this now, and that thought has since stuck with me with a result of the loss in motivation to do anything.

And recently, I learned that my mother still hopes for me to go to college, and after that conversation another dribble of thoughts hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember thinking how on graduation day I have to be the person that tells her that none of her 5 children would become successful, that her last hope to see her children live a life better than hers was for nothing, that she wasnt qualified for the feelings of optimism and joy meant for that day.
I've been in a terrible sate of mind since, I don't yearn death, especially not by my own hand, but I certainly wouldnt mind it.

Learned Helplessness is something I learned in psychology, where someone believes that they have no control of the situation around them, even if solutions are presented (its honestly one of the most pathetic things Ive ever heard), so its nothing to pity over. But does this fit? If so, I want to fix this.

[Paxiled]

I wouldn't start labeling myself, but you do sound depressed.  Any reason for it, or is this something chronic for you?  If so, it might be time to see a therapist to help you figure this out.  By the way, anyone can get a dead-end job, even someone with ten degrees.  The value of a job differs by the person, but most people only work to make money, not for the intrinsic value of the job.  What you want ideally is to make enough money to not suffer but to do it by doing things to make it you value.  That will usually involve college, because it teaches you how to think and opens doors, but don't let society or, heaven forbid, you're either rich or you're a failure Donald Trump and his ilk, define success for you -- it is what you decide it is.