Name your favourite medications for:

[upsetwoman]

Last night I confirmed I need medication.  I exercise, I am spiritually connected more and more, I have a close family that I love, and more.  The past keeps on bothering me daily.  I recently told a cousin exactly how I have felt all these years and how hurt I was to hold in a huge secret about her father (my uncle by marriage) coming on to my Mom.  She was like his little sister from when they were teenagers.  How dare he?  She told me this and told me never to repeat it.  I wish she never did since all these years being around him I had to fake.  My cousins' response was "shame on you" my Dad is my rock.  She has been talking to my sister and acts like I did something terrible to her.   I have alot of this stuff deep rooted inside of me.  I hate being around these fakes that wear designer clothes and live for the next shopping spree.  I was protecting her all these years from her pervert Father story and she was so angry when I started to tell her how I felt that I told her about her Dad.  Knowing that I have to keep these things inside only adds to my problems.  Her family is close to mine, but what is close when you have wierdo's to be close to.  My Mom is close to her greedy sister and we would never want her to know about her pervert husband.  Of course not. We must protect her.  Now I'm the bad one.  This whole thing coming out of me makes me want to take 4 ativans and just mope around to not think.  

[upsetwoman]

I'm not familiar with bipolar or unipolar terms on myself.  I think I have some depression and anxiety.  Of course you are so right about family not being the right support.  i don't feel understood.  My husband came around the last 7 years when he saw me getting ready to leave.  i was a real basket case then.  He loves me in a way I didn't think was possible.  He wants me to talk about this all the time and doesn't seem to tire of it.  I think I'm wearing him out.  

[upsetwoman]

Yes, I'd say angry is a good word, laced with resentment and, depression and anxiety.  You have to know how much these people have done to make me feel this way.  Years of condescending behaviours to 'tame' me while I was in my youth cause my Dad was disappointed in my behaviour.  My Dad was not 'right' either.  This caused me so much trauma.  The physical, sexual, and mental abuse caused me to be an emotional headcase.  I am really a good person with alot to offer but these memories are borderline nuts and very difficult even theraputically to fix.  You guys are very helpful.  I did go with the 'it's people's business what they do' all my life, but my business was not allowed to have that.  It didn't help to have parents who broadcasted their 'problems' with me all over the family circle to stigmatize me.  Still at this age, 50, I had to let it out.  I don't feel better since they don't understand my emotions and how they snowballed.  That is why I don't feel I need them.  My Mom is staying with me and therefore they were around my throat alot, especially since my Dad passed away.  This was too much for me I think.  

[birdie0907]

I agree with therese that you will be happier if you focus on what is directly affecting your life.
I add that it is also more peaceful to be thinking about what is happening right now in your life, whether walking your dog and marveling at the agility of the animal, than it is to think too much about the past.

You said that you confirmed you need medication last night. Will you be seeing a professional soon to discuss what they think is best?
Write back.

[therese83]

You have to live your own life, that is all i can think of saying and let others choose how they live theirs.  No one has done anything to really hurt you and you know, if you do not like this guy do not spend time with him.  It sounds like you attacked his daughter and she did nothing.  If you like her you shouldnt have bought it up.  It is nothing to do with you and her and how you are together.  You sound very angry at everyone?  If someone is happy with their designer bags, let them.  It is not for me either i couldnt give a hoot about Louis Viouton (probably spelt wrong) but dont tell others how to live their life.  People change as well and have 'realisations' as they go through life and the lady with the designer handbag might not be a bad person really.  Live and let live

I hope this is not too direct, but you put it out there/