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You say you have sought help to kill yourself, but don't say seeking help to fix your problem so you don't feel this way anymore. You very much need to see a psychologist and a psychiatrist if it's gotten to this point -- you're ill, not evil.
Kbuggy, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way! These kinds of emotions are overwhelming. First, and VERY IMPORTANT, if you feel like you may act on any urge to harm yourself, PLEASE call the police and tell them you feel suicidal. Mental health difficulties can cause our brain to feel jumbled, unclear so reaching out to those who can help during a time of such distress is essential. Everyone wants you to be SAFE!
It might be helpful if you googled misophonia. You describe symptoms that are associated with this. My own son has auditory processing issues which are part of the sensory system (his is out of whack). He hears sounds that most can ignore like they are full volume and can't tune them out. My son will use headphones to help with this.
Please know you are not alone. There are numbers you can call 24 hours a day to connect with someone who will try to understand and help. Suicide prevention is a very serious topic. Take good care of yourself and please let us know how you are doing!
Hi I hope you read this and it helps You find some peace of mind. Months ago I felt the same way I'm Bi Polar so I feel pain. My whole life I've felt it. But it's not about me it's about You KBuggy. Take some advice from a person that You can trust to talk to no one family trust me on that. Even tends to think selfishly. What do you believe in Heaven,Hell,Paradise,(Limbo)(Purgatory) the place where you ascend the pain of this life to maybe get reincarnated into a higher or lower being? Think about setting suicide aside is the thing I heard that spoke to me from many Points of View of many people it's selfish a deal breaker and ultimately going to have a vast worse outcome that living and seeing it through. Geeta look this word up online and similar words like same spirt but free of mental illness is the hopefulness that You seek a better life outcome by just ending it. I challenge you to make it though this at this moment and start thinking bigger and setting aside man kinds selfish ways it's something I'm looking to learn greatness from a higher teacher if that is just the act of living and seeing things slowly get better cool. If it's someone who You learn something and can help others GREAT. Must be a reason You are here is all I have been thinking about You and me and everyone else. I'm not going to tell You I feel like I know a lot more because all of life is a lesson we have to learn to set aside our EGO and maybe meditate on someone else needs and or words of wisdom start thinking how can I help someone else not to look or feel good but to know we are here for reasons. And I don't know if being a gamer has changed my outlook what if it's not infinite wouldn't like to have a piece of hope that Your pain doesn't go away with drugs/drinking/addiction/killing yourself but maybe in this life your pain might be like a fading memory that You look back on once and never again I hope this for You and everyone else like us.
Kbuggy, you have been given a lot of information and support here. I hope you understand that there are those out there who may not be able to get this kind of support and I hope that you come back and let us know not only how you are doing but let us help you to come up with a plan to treat your disorder.
Actually people close to a suicide victim think about it all day long, so you would not be giving your mother a break. Instead she might wonder with guilt what she could have done to stop you.
when i was young i had a problem i would try to have possitive emotional feelings though very hard to do i would also try to have positive thoughts about the situation at first very hard to do i got better and better about it i eventually (in several months) got in the habbit of being positive.
Kbuggy ... first u need to find someone u can talk to. You are not crazy. You do have some issues which can be treated by doctors. I myself have depression. Things annoy me too especially when I'm tired or depressed. My friend has trouble going to restaurant where there is a lot of noise. Just like someone previously stated about their sons auditory processing disorder. It is real. There are things to help with it. I think I would find someone you can trust that is learned in these issues. It is not right for someone to call you crazy or mental. They do not understand. Maybe a school counselor. Call suicide prevention holiness and ask them for places that can help you. Whoever told u suicide is selfish and called you selfish does not understand what we are going through. I hope it was not a "so-called professional" that told u this. Some people are just not meant to be mental health professionals. You have an illness, it just so happens to be in your brain. You would go to the Dr for the flu, or broken leg, etc. You need to go to a mental health professional and also your primary care dr.might can refer you to someone for the sensory processing thing. Please do not commit suicide. My little brother committed suicide when he was 15. I just wish I knew he was having those thoughts, I could have gotten him some help and he would still be here today. I miss him so much. Here is the suicide prevention website:
Phone no. 1-800-273-8255
Please do not do it. We love you and you were not put on this earth for it to end like that I promise. There are too many people who care about you, they just do not understand. But there are those who do. Trust me.
Don't harm yourself. Seek for help. Force your parents to find you some help. I'm suggesting that you need to speak to a psychologist and also a spiritual healer. You shouldn't have to suffer through this alone. Garner family support especially from your parents. I know that you are hurting but be strong and try to take control of it through your own sheer will for your sake and your family.
May strength and courage bring you peace and harmony.