Avatar universal

My boyfriend tried to kill himself

What can I do to help him?

And how should I react when he comes back from the hospital?

6 Responses
Avatar universal
That's tough, so sorry for both of you.  I guess a lot depends on who he is when he gets out of the hospital -- someone who is on medication that has stabilized him, someone who realizes this was not what he really wanted to do, or someone who isn't any different than when he went in.  Only time is going to tell you who this person is going to be, because once you've been hospitalized, life has moved to a different level.  If he doesn't have the motivation to help himself, there's not much you can do, but you can make it not worse by just being you the way you were before, but you will have to decide if you're staying with him destroys two lives instead of one, and that just depends on how you both respond to his depression.  Different people respond differently and have different levels of ability to cope when bad things happen in life.  
Thank you for your response. I am still in shock and very scared to lose him forever.

He is wanting to get over depression, and if he’s willing to help himself, I think I will stay with him and support him as much as I can.

Thank you again!
Avatar universal
Just be kind. Give him a hug and kiss. If he doesn't respond right way, just him his space if that is the case. If you can be there for him, let him know you care or ever love him. Things will get better. He will need familiar faces around during this time. Being isolated only makes things worse. Kind Regards.
I can’t physically be there for him since I live like 6000 miles away, but I will make sure I text him and check up on him.

Thank you :)
He might not want a hug and kiss if he is that depressed, so take it easy with whatever approach you do.
Can you explain the 6000 miles away?  Is this temporary or is this an internet relationship?  I only ask to better understand what's actually going on, and because internet only relationships have popped up on here occasionally and they're a whole other beast.  If you're away for work, again, it's really hard to help someone who is that distressed from a great distance because you can't actually witness what's going on, everything is second hand information.  
It’s just temporary. I’m studying in a different country and it’s  been a year.

(** I am curious to know what difference it makes when it’s internet relationship lol)

I’m not sure if it’ll help but here’s some info
- we know each other for 6 years now
- I knew he was in the hospital because his mom texted me
- he’s 27 years old

The internet thing is controversial on here, but they just aren't really real relationships a lot of the time -- you can't actually know who it actually is when it's internet only, as the internet is full of anonymous people who can pretend to be anything they want.  But it doesn't matter here because you do know him.  His age is in the range where these types of problems break out full-fledged -- usually it's a little younger than that, but within the range, so this might have been coming for awhile now.  But you're still left with the same reality -- whether you can be of help depends on how he responds, how you respond, and all the other variables of human beings.  Time will tell.  I hope time is good to both of you.
Avatar universal
He needs hope. That he won't have to live depressed like he is now for the rest of his life. Yes there is hope if he can hang in there, in the long run
Avatar universal
He will need hope that he won't have to live depressed for the rest of his life.

Yes there is hope for that when he finds the right antidepressant that works for him. He may need to try several before finding the one that works for him.

In the meantime, he needs whatever helps him hang on and get by. You can ask him what would help.

A psychiatrist once said in a talk he gave that he had success telling his patients how devastating a suicide can be on the family. Sometimes the patient feels (wrongly) that everyone would be happier without them.

Best wishes.
Avatar universal
I would say tread lightly and assist his needs the best way you can. It will probably be a slow process back to normality but give him space as well as let him know you are only an arms length away
Avatar universal
Has he tried mirtazapine?
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