need help coping with cheating husband

[carla4130]

ok, so two months ago i notice a number on my husbands cell phone and i asked and he said it was a co-worker of his that called him  but i didn't believe him. i started looking for answer and kept asking him becuase the number appeard to many time to count on his cell phone bill and everytime i called a women asnwer.  i decided to check his credit card bill and found a charge to a motel i confronted him and he told me that it was a one time mistake with a prostitute but i kept asking him about the number and he would say that his friend would use the cell to call his wife but i didn't believe him which is when i looked at his cell phone and actually found his others friend number and i asked my husband if his friend already got a cell and he answered yes and i said that if i call him he would say the same thing and it was when he told me the truth about the other women  and how it started.  he made me believe a month ago that the motel thing was with a prostitute when it actually was with that other women and for a month he made me feel like *** everytime i asked im about that number he even told me that he was going to prove to me that what he had told me this whole time was true and that he was going to divorce me and i was going to repent for what i did after he would prove the truth i also found out that he has develop feeling for this other women which makes everything worse and i don't know what to do because i feel confuse, mad so many emotions and they don't let me see what i want to do if i want to forgive him or not.  PLEASE HELP!  will accept any comments

[HockeyShark]

I agree. Sounds like what you need to help 'cope' is a good divorce lawyer.

[Athena_M]

I agree with the other two to leave him.  He is using religious words to make you feel bad.  It's difficult because you love him, but what he did to you is not love.  You will find someone better than him.  

I had a friend that decide to forgive her husband after finding out he cheated with more than 15 women.  They went to counseling and everything and guess what?  He did it again.  

You deserve real love from a faithful man.  

Take care

[whodunnit]

Hi Carla,

Simply put, dump him and save your sanity. Any guy who tries to justify cheating by saying "It was only a prostitute" is an idiot as it is a worse way of cheating given the risks of disease and more. Crime in some US States too I understand.

Get rid of this cretin, and quick. He uses religion? Another reason to dump him.

Sorry but based on your words this guy is the worst.

[mammo]

Hi, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  I went thru the same thing at one time, and I left my husband.  I believe if they do it once, they'll do it again.  I have had the attitude ever since "if you can get him, you can have him!"  Because if a man is truly happy, and loves his wife, NO other woman can take him away!  I know it hurts like hell right now, but you deserve better than this.  You can't see that now, but one day you will, trust me.  I also know that you may forgive, but you'll never forget.  Everytime he is late, or a strange number comes up on his phone, you'll wonder, and this is no way to live.  He has told you numerous lies, and the one about a prostitute just floors me!  If this had been true, he could have brought home an STD to you!  He says he's developed feelings for this woman, I'd tell him fine, go live with her!  Adultery is a sin, and is the most disrespectful thing one spouse can do to another.  Plus, he used religion in an effort to make you feel bad!  Guess who's going to hell?  Next he'll make his cheating out to be your fault, don't allow him to do this to you!  It was his choice and his alone!  You have to do what you feel you can live with, and living the life you have is no way to live.  You will always wonder when the next time will be, and he will think "well, I got by with it once......"  I feel unless someone has been thru this, they have no way of knowing how they would react, and I have been, and I have never looked back, or regreted my decison to leave my husband, and I had 3 babies at the time.  No job, no money, no car, no driver's license, but my dignity and self-respect remained in tact.  I went on to meet and marry the most wonderful man, while my ex seemed to never find contentment with one woman.  You have every right to be angry, and to cry, it's so painful.  But then you can think straight.  Know you are not alone, as many of us have had to go thru this.