Need help

[nvc0984]

Hi everyone, i don't know where to start, i guess everyone has experienced depression in some point of their lives, i've been dealing with for over half of my life, i'm 25 right now and my mood changes constantly, i don't last happy for more than a day or two, no matter how hard i try and how hard i try to keep my mind busy it just doesn't go away, i have suicidal thoughts, lots of them, i was thinking maybe with medication i'd be alright but i made my research and they have terrible side effects, i know i'll only get worse.
There's days when i don't want to do anything at all and days when i'm in such in a good mood that i don't care about anything, i'm just so happy... I don't want to live like this anymore, i can't even be in a serious relationship, i don't know if i can even get married because of what i am, i'm scared that if i have kids they will be like me and i don't want that, my dad is like a manic obsessive and he gets depressed in a big deal, i'm sure that's the reason why i feel this way, i'm sure there's not even help for me i just have to deal with this... i realized that's why i drink a lot, i was looking for some answers and i got to this conclusion, i'm a very emotional person and the slightest of an offensive word towards me or to any other person makes me feel so bad i sometimes start to cry, not in front of people i just keep it to myself, i don't last long in jobs and i've experienced the worse of anxiety attacks, i don't even last long in relationships with girls, there's just something about me that i don't understand... I don't get along with my dad for the way he was ehen we were growing up, as a matter a fact he was never around, i grew up with my mother with whom i'm very attached, i know genetics have a lot to do, my family on my fathers side have very bad temper and one of my step brothers was in a mental institute, i think he commited suicide... can someone help me?

[untine]

dont let side effects get you down, you wont know until you try! i know how you feel though, i have had depression since i was little and sometimes i just struggle to breathe or move.. but there is no reason why you, or me, or anyone should not be able to live life! we all have a reason for being here even if we still dont know what it is.. be strong and know that people do care about you even if you least expect it. just know you are not alone and nobody wants to see you hurt yourself and definetly dont want to see you in the news. just send me a messege if you want someone to talk to!

[sodapop915]

EVERYTHING WE TAKE N DO HAV A SIDE  AFFECT CAN"T ALLOW THAT2 STOP U U NEED HELP 2 LIV IF THE SIDE AFFECT IS WAY 2 MUCH THE DOC WILL CHANGE

[lil_lady25]

Please dont feel alone, there are millions of people out there who feel the same way as you do. Im sorry to hear about what you are going through. I dont know if this is anything similar to your dad, but my mother is bipolar and is manic depression. I seen her struggle my entire life trying to control her emotions. I sometimes feel that some of her symptoms when I feel happy one minute and upset the next. But Im a woman and it could just be hormones. My parents have been together for over 25 years and my father loves my mother more than life. I truly think there is someone out there for everyone no matter what faults you have. Maybe you are just stuck in a rut and need a change in your life. Are you in school? Are you working? You should try and keep yourself busy and these thoughts will fade away once you meet new people and perhaps a nice girl. She will love you for what you are. I also have delt with depression as I had lost my first two children to miscarriage. Despite all of the heartache and grief I knew I had to keep my head up and stay positive. We all have a purpose here and our life is a journey to discover what that is. I wish you the very best as you seem like a great person. If you ever need to talk please feel free to message me.