I suffered from depression for years growing up, mainly because I didn't know I had it. I thought it was my own fault, that I was just a very lazy person... I didn't really know WHY I was always so fatigued, couldn't get out of bed, ect.
Thankfully, my mom later realized the symptoms, and after years of resistance (I didn't think I could be depressed!) I finally began with the treatment & antidepressants. They absolutely changed my life. Through the years I've varied the brands a bit. Most recently I've been taking Wellbutrin. Two years ago I started on 300mg in the morning and the evening. I began, 4 months ago, doing 150mg in the morning and evening instead.
Recently my Wellbutrin began to have no effect... I was back to the old feelings again... no motivation... sleeping my days away. Not a life. It ***** because while I had been taking my wellbutrin and it was working (about 2 years) I was so able to form a meaningful life. I absolutely stopped self-medicating the depression, really got plugged in to a Church; revamped my life spiritually.... My on the rocks marriage has been saved 100%... I mean, on the meds, in just two years everything had fallen into place. Work going well also... I even got a Wii Fit for Christmas and I love it, so I've got exercise in my life..!! I eat incredibly healthy.
Why is this happening to me?? I've kind of heard of depression treatment medication needing to be "switched up" every few years... Is that what I need to do? I've started doubling my dose again, it's kind of working, but when I do that, the meds mess with my head, I know I'm a little off with this high milligram dosage in my body, It's why I went down to 150 in the first place. I just hate this feeling of nothing. Like, when I'm around my husband and kids I can pretend to be happy, but I know inside that I'm not motivated to do anything with myself. I love my Church and my fam, and my work... But It's like hell trying to get out of bed in the morning and keeping myself going through the day. What's wrong with me for real??
Any feedback would so be appreciated :)