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Psychotic depression?

On April 2nd I made the decision to admit myself to a psychiatric hospital due to a psychotic episode. The thing that I'm having the hardest time comprehending is if I induced the episode or not. I convinced myself that I was covered in fleas, I heard voices saying my name and calling me worthless in the past, & I experienced paranoia. I don't know what to think right now. I wish I could know if I made the symptoms worse or not... I'm not sure if I convinced myself to exacerbate them or not. Wow. I'm just... confused. Does anybody else who experienced psychotic episodes do the same thing as me? Questioning their episodes, where they came from, & if you helped induce them?
3 Responses
Avatar universal
Hello Tanner!  Sorry it has taken so long for someone to reply to you.  While you have posted in the Depression forum, you actually might try the Schizophrenia forum, because the hallmark of that disorder is hearing voices.  This can create paranoia, depression, and confused thinking.
Clozapine and Minocycline (Mino is new) are the very best drugs to take for your condition.  The new drug, Minocycline, is originally an antibiotic, but turns out it substantially helps with few side effects the problems of schizophrenia.  While it could be taken alone, until studies are made, you are stuck with having to take a drug like Clozapine to treat what you got.

You did not create the hallucination of fleas all over, you did not make your symptoms of feeling worthless, paranoid, or hearing voices.  These things happened because of the schizophrenia disorder.  The newer drug Minocyline, since it is used as an antibiotic, it also reduces inflammation.  Lately, the drug treatment world is beginning to think one of the causes of many neuro-type disorders is inflammation!  So, you take a drug for it, and there you go!  Now, aspirin won't take care of this, it's nowhere in the power range of a drug like Minocycline.

You may stop questioning yourself.  You may ask your treatment doctors to please try Minocycline on you, ask them to read up on it if they are not familiar, and tell them it can't hurt!  Also, if they are using a regular schizo drug other than Clozapine, once you are feeling better with the Minocycline, you can ask them to either eliminate the other drugs you are on, or to at least change them to Clozapine.  Please take my advice.  it doesn't hurt to ask.

You've got it together well enough to post here, therefore you can most definitely be proactive in your treatment.  And again, you DID NOT cause this or make it worse or anything else.  By the way, that feeling of hopelessness, it is a symptom of depression, but who wouldn't be depressed after experiencing a load of fleas on their person!?  And as for your paranoia, this is typical with schizophrenics, because they DON'T really know how come all this is happening, especially when the symptoms seem so real.

I really hope this helps you out, and we'd like to hear from you again, about any changes you can encourage in your treatment, or any improvements you are feeling after being in the psych ward, and so on.  I will check here and check at the Schizophrenic department to see how you are!  GG
Avatar universal
Hi Tanner. Well, I'll tell you what I know. You actually can have depression and have hallucinations when your depresion is severe enough. That is not unheard of. Hallucinations can happen in other conditions besides schizophrenia. I also had paranoia. It can happen with depression, especially when you aren't sleepig very much.

I have had psychotic breaks with the depression cycle of my bipolar disorder. However, I do know people with major depression and situational depression who had episodes of visual hallucination. The hallucinations were short lived as well as their depression, meaning it only lasted for a year or 2. They didn't get hospitalized,  because they were still able to function and their hallucinations did not affect their functioning so much.

When I have gone through hallucinations and know when others are going through it, I never questioned them. Partly, because at the time the hallucinations occur, they were real to me. Sure, some of them were really odd and strange, especially when they are not complete people, but it never occured to me that they weren't there. It was only after the fact, when I realized this. I didn't have to convince myself that I was going through them or that they were happening. That includes hearing voices, feeling things and being able to feel like I am  touch something or feeling something touch me. No, I am not schizophrenic. That has been ruled out several times by different psychiatrists. Most of the time I wasn't freaked out about my hallucinations, and they were pretty scary sometimes. I heard voices for a long time. I have bipolar disorder.  

I did take short term antipsychotics at first, when I was simply diagnosed as depressed with psychotic episodes. Low dose and only for a few months, which were started and removed at the discretion of my psychiatrist, depending on how I was doing.  

I think the key word in your description is convincing yourself that you are being covered with fleas. It could be delusional thinking and it could be a symptom of extreme anxiety. People  with extreme fear and anxiety can convince themselves that they are being attacked by rats, bugs, and snakes. People without any kind of mental illness do that all the time, when they just have a phobia. There is that old cliche where children get so scared that they think there is something under the bed, because their imaginations get carried away.

I don't  know that you should be taking clonopine. It has a lot of black box warnings and it is strictly prescribed and monitored with lab draws. It  is a drug usually given when other antipsychotics don't work so well. If you read on it, it is usually reserved for resistant bipolar disorder and schizophrenia with a history of multiple suicide attempts. There are other meds like risperdal, zyprexa, and such out there. For myself, risperdal worked really well.

Since you posted back in early April, I hope you got a chance to talk about your confusion and concerns about the hallucinations.

Avatar universal
Sorry. I meant I don't think think clozapine is a drug you want to start out with, which is what ggreg was referring to. Not clonopine which is a totally different drug and misspelled.
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