If you're comfortable enough, you should talk to your husband or other immediate family you have. Even a good friend could make you feel better. If you really think you need to see a doctor, you need to tell yours that this is something that can't wait.
You really need to stop drinking, though. Especially if your father was an alcoholic, it's very common for this to carry on through generations. Stop drinking and stay on your prescribed meds. Just take it a day at a time. I'm currently in a depression myself, but the only thing that is comforting me is taking it one day at a time. You can't turn things around in a single day.
I feel your pain and so many others are going through the same thing. You need to tell your husband that you need help getting through this. Even if you tell him off like you did your mother-in-law, that's completely normal and they should be understanding. It can be a difficult time and your loved ones need to be there for you. But like I said, tell your doctor you need to be scheduled ASAP and see what he/she says.
I would really suggest you go to AA or another organization like that. Drinking makes your depression worse, not better. Alcohol is a depressant on your brain, the more you drink the worse you'll get, as well you should never drink on this medication. Folks who have addictions tend to cut people out of their lives if they are confronted about their addictions. Family can help, but if this has been going on for sometime, they may not be able to. Al-anon is a good place for your family to go to, to talk about their feelings about your drinking and depression. I think it's great you are getting a referral, but you need to address your drink as soon as you can. Having a dual diagnosis of an addiction and depression is pretty common, so know that you aren't alone. I have to disagree with the other poster, the last thing you should do is isolate yourself further, and they shouldn't tolerate any of your outbursts or such behaviours.
Here's the web address for AA:
Here's the website for your family for Al-Anon:
If you can become sober, your treatment options will be greater, many meds out there are dangerous if you are still drinking. There are also a lot of in treatment programs which help with both your depression and your addiction as well, you might want to think about that.
I hope you can tell your doctor everything and you can figure out a plan of action,
I agree with LC, you need to get some help with your drinking. It's an awful viscious cycle, as I'm sure you've found out. The "high" of alchol is just that a high. Even if it momentarily makes you feel better, you end up feeling worse before it's all over with. Aside from that if you're drinking to numb the pain so you can sleep, that doesn't really work either. You never get the sleep you need while intoxicated. And sleeping is what helps your brain try and balance back out the chemicals. So, if you're not getting "correct" sleep and you're already depressed, it just makes it worse.
Get a call back in to your doctor and look into a support group in the meantime. Take care of yourself,
I sympathize with you as I have dealt with depression for almost as long as I can remember. As the other people have said, drinking is not the solution and as you already know it only makes things worse. You are also blocking your medication from working properly. If going to AA would be helpful you should try. I would also suggest that you see if your doctor would be willing to try you on a higher dose of your medication or another medication, although I am sure that your doc will want to see you sober to make sure that the medication is really not working. You can also go to emergency if you think that you are danger to yourself or others. You can get through this, many of us have and are, without turning to alcohol.
Another suggestion if I may, something that has helped me, may I suggest that you go to www.watchtower.org and type in depression in the search area and there will be many articles that you can read and get helpful information from.
Hope you feel better soon, it is not a fun thing to go through!
The drinking isn't the problem at all is it? It's the depression and seeming lack of options. Meds do help but they don't give that immediate relief alcohol can so it's something many resort to when the pressure is on.
I won't lecture you on drinking as I chose it as my form of self treating for quite some years. It worked too, for me, but only because I was happy when I drank. Always happy, until towards the end when I became nasty. So I stopped drinking.
If you are unhappy, miserable, sad, angry and so on then drinking is simply going to highlight those emotions and give you a worse time. It may knock you out at night and give you something else to think about next day but it won't make you happy.
You have 2 choices. Drink and stop meds or take meds and don't drink. Simple. You decide.
The real issue though is the depression. Why has it got so bad? What has caused this? Is it something you are aware of or just a slow drift downwards as you become less able to cope?
Is your husband part of the problem or part of the answer? The mother in law seems to be a waste of time so I would simply avoid her for starters. She's only going to make it harder from what you say.
If your husband is part of the answer I'd suggest by far the best thing would be couples counselling. The critical thing of course is if he accepts depression is an illness and not just you "doing stuff" as some like to think we do. Many just don't understand and think we should be able to control it but if we could there would be no problem would there?
Maybe he needs educating on depression, many depressed people need that so why wouldn't he? You don't get it unless you've had it really so it is hard to comprehend as a partner.
The major thing to focus on, of course, is you and your own health. At the exclusion of all others. If they are part of the problem then they must be excluded, even if only in the short term. Unable to say how you could do that as I don't know your situation.
Please do see the doc when yoiu can but be aware that, in the end, the recovery is up to you and no one else. People can and will help but you have to do the hard yards.