Depression Community
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4753943 tn?1359938169

Severe Depression

I've always battled depression as far as I could remember (even early years of childhood).
Lately it feels severe and at times too much to take on and I begin to feel l can't handle it anymore. I get to a dark place of wishing I wouldn't wake up the next day or something would just take my life but not necessarily about taking my own life. I care too much about my partner and my family to do that.
I've been a walking zombie for about 8 months now, just sort of going through the motions of life but feeling numb and isolated, with no interests in anything. For the past two and a half months I haven't left my bed or my room. I get up and get ready for work or school but I come back home and get right back into my sweats and get in bed. It's my everyday routine. If I don't have a prior engagement, I'm in bed and some days don't even get ready or clean myself up.

I'm currently on Effexor 37.7mg (I was on a higher dosage but am being taken off of it because it wasn't working for me) I have tried many antidepressants but have pretty drastic side effects with all of them.

What I would greatly appreciate and desperately need right now is advice from others who have been through this or are currently battling this.  What do you do to help/get through it? Or, what DID you do to overcome it?

I'm at a loss. I have no drive or energy and I'm at the point where I can't even force myself to do things like go for a walk anymore.

Please help...
11 Responses
Avatar universal
Your not alone, I have felt the same way. I think when we are depressed we get into a rut. The bed is our safe haven. It's familiar, comfortable and safe.
What I've learned is to force myself to get out of the bed, break the routine of getting in bed. Do something, anything even though you don't want to. It's hard and that's why you need to talk to yourself and say I have to do this. Walking is one of the best things you can do as it get you endorphins working which helps the depression. Any exercise will. I find walking the easiest. I admire the fact that you get up and go to work. When your depressed this takes a lot of energy so you already proved to yourself you can do it. Break your routine as hard as that may be.

Therapy can help a lot. There are other meds other than antidepressants that you can try for depression.

Have you gotten bloodwork done to see if you are deficient in certain areas?
Examples, vit b's, vit d, iron, folic acid & l-mythlfolate, glutamate and your Thyroid. These can affect depression. Taking fish oil helps too.

I hope you are tapering very, very, very slowly off of the Effoxer. This way it lessons your withdraw.

My best to you, hang in there. Crystal
4407520 tn?1363015465
your story reminds me of myself so much, i also sometimes wish i just wouldnt wake up, life is just so overwhelming and stressful id rather not be a part of it, i too do not want to take my life but wish something would, my life just consists of the same old repetitive bull everyday, ive been trying to get off opiates now for what seems like forever, i just cant kick methadone, which also depresses me, ill try so hard, but after like 1 or 2 days of feeling bad i cave, i try to think of positive things, but usually that doesnt last long, let me know if you find something to help, ive not even been to the dr for my depression or for that matter even told anyone, good luck!!
4753943 tn?1359938169
Thank you for the advice. I will go see my doctor soon for blood work.
I am desperate at this point. I have an appt with a psychiatrist tomorrow.
I only want to get off of Effexor because I will only be on my mother's health insurance for the remainder of this year. After this year I will be without insurance. I read that the generic Effexor could be as much as $400. I don't want to be in a situation where I stop because I have to and run out of medication- cold turkey. I want to be in control of getting off of it so that I could taper and take it slowly.

Avatar universal
i saw in your post you said that you will only be on your mothers health insurance for another year. Last year a psychiatrist I was seeing said I was disabled and unable to go to work so I could get state (CA) disability for a year. With this letter, i was able to extend coverage on my fathers plan for 5 additional years. I am now 27 and will be on his insurance until 2017 or until he takes a new job. I hope this helps- maybe you can get certified disabled and can have additional coverage under your mothers plan.

Also, for anyone reading this, especially with "med-resistant" depression, has any dr or medical professional every tried to find the cause of the depression? I mean, maybe something beyond a psychological issue. I have been reading up on sleep apnea and am waiting myself to get refered to a sleep center to have a study done. I have tried various anti depressants and combos and even bi-polar meds. The anti-depressants didn't work and the bi-polar meds made me worse; the apathy landed me in a hospital because I was taking ten ambien a day and I think my parents thought I was trying to overdose, but really I was just trying to numb the pain. I guess what Im getting at is, I'm not in denial of suffering from depression, I got over the fact that i need to take medication every day years ago. But currently, I don't take anything, I have been off the meds for a while and now I have been off ambien and xanax for 8 days. I just feel that too often drs want to give us a pill and push us out the door. does anyone else feel that their problem may be something different than depression? i know after a week of not sleeping well from my detox, but feeling ok (depression wise) from it, I finally slept last night for 10 hours and DID NOT feel refreshed at all. I felt depressed today from feeling SO TIRED. not suicidal, just completely frustrated. I fear that I will never be able to work full-time while exercising eating right etc etc. I decided a few months ago that I will actively try everything I can. I gave up all fast food and processed food a few months ago, pretty much only eat organic vegetables and grass-fed meats, dont use any vegetable oils, only olive oil, things along this line. It has helped, but I still find myself depressed sometimes. At this point I truly believe it is hormonal, thyroidal, or related to my problems sleeping. Anyway sorry for this random rant, I just wanted to get that out there. If the medications don't work for us, maybe our problem ISNT depression, its just a symptom from an underlying cause. I pray that everyone in this forum finds permanent relief for their depression. I remember the days of thinking I would not be able to go on. But I did. I am honestly better now than I was when on the meds. not 100% better, but better than before. I also was young when I started anti depressants, 18 or so, and essentially wanted the easy way to fix the depression. I realize now that it wasn't the answer, that harder things, like giving up fast food, alcohol, all drugs, may truly be the answer.  I just need to find out if my sleep troubles are what is causing my depression, because I have had trouble with sleep for longer than I have suffered from depression.
Avatar universal
You are right when you say to give up Alcohol. Many people who suffer from depression don't realize just how much worse Alcohol makes you feel. Alcohol is a depressant and if your already depressed than you will feel worse.

Some people really do suffer from depression but are medication resistant. Meaning meds just don't work for them and they have to find other avenues. Exercising, walking, yoga, meditation etc. having bloodwork done to see if you are deficient in areas that effect your mood as well as checking your Thyroid. Getting enough sleep is really important as this effects our moods also.
Avatar universal
I am very glad you are going to taper off of the Effexor slowly.

Might I suggest that you ask your dr to give you at least three options for meds that aren't antidepressants. That way you can go to the pharmacy and ask how much each of these meds cost without insurance, generic and name brand. Then you can determine which one ore ones you can afford. Then you can tell your dr which one you would like to try. If a few are inexpensive then you know what you have to work with should you need to change.

If you decide to go without meds and it doesn't work out then at least you have done your research, know what you can afford, get the rx from your dr. And not worry.

Maybe your bloodwork will help you determine if your body is lacking in something or your Thyroid is off and that is causing your depression. I'm glad your getting it done. I hope it gives you answers.

I commented on this above but another thing you can try to help with your depression is Yoga and or meditation. You could try one or both and that would help you break you bed routine. It will give you another reason to get out of bed and go somewhere. Something to do for yourself. Maybe you will like it and even look forward to going. Take care, Crystal
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