Please let us know if we can help in any way. We've sent some resources in terms of numbers to call where you can find someone to speak with. We hope you seek help from a therapist, psychiatrist or your health care provider. Depression and PTSD are treatable. We wish you the very best.
I'm so sorry to hear about your trials I do hope those abusers get what they deserve. I admire your courage, you were able to endure those sufferings yet you are still here surviving. It's common to have suicidal and negative thoughts but I urge you to avoid these. You still have a lot of fight left in you. You still believe that you're worth more and that is true, so stay there and keep fighting. Don't be embarrass and hold your head up high. Continue with your treatments and someday you will be more than okay.