Can you tell us how old you are? You're right, calling a hotline just gets you past an emergency. What you need is regular therapy and perhaps medication to treat your depression. If you're in fact serious about suicide, medication moves up from maybe to definitely. You might tell us the things that you have gone through so we have an idea just what's up. But telling a professional is better. Also note that your post use words like "everyone" and "nobody." Given how hard it is to get just two people to agree on very much, it's unlikely everyone is tired of you and that nobody thinks anything is wrong with you. It might be you just haven't talked to the right people yet. All the best.
We urge you to speak to your ob/gyn or family doctor immediately about your depression, OCD and anxiety. If you have suicidal thoughts, please go to the emergency room immediately. We sent you some links for support and wish you well.
I think you should seek psychiatric help asap. Its true there are were some harrowing experiences in the past year. However there are meds who can't help you feel better. I know personally since I'm being successfuly treated for depression. Psychotherapy may be helpful to sort out your emotions. Starting a journal with positive thoughts. You'd be surprised even what seems like the most minor feat once you write it down reminds you accomplished something. That you are not helpless. That fact is crucial.
Dear Ash, (sorry for posting twice, i posted in the wrong place at first),
I have no answers but I just really want to tell you that I feel for you. What you described is heart-breaking, so messed up that you went through that with that guy - that actually was almost certainly a CRIME you know? It is wrong, what happened to you and it is not your fault. Everything else too on top of that is a lot to deal with, I understand why it can feel like too much. Family relationships are so intense. Most of all I just really want to say: you're young, you are dealing with many difficult things - REAL things, and I really hope that you find some good HELP. Nobody is able to get through these things alone. You might consider talking to a rape or sexual abuse victim's hotline, to make sure that you get the correct information and support to deal with what was done to you. I hope you get this message and hang in there. I am sending you love.