I'm sorry to read that you've dealt with depression for so long. I too have dealt with this terrible disease since my early teenage years. It's been my experience that most people who have dealt with depression since childhood have relapses throughout their lifetime. Sometimes, if the depression is situational and the situation is corrected, the person can live depression free.
If the depression is bio-chemical, then only a lifetime of being on the correct medication can prevent relapses. I've never heard of anyone getting the correct medication that controls their depression for a lifetime.
Depression and Fibromyalgia are strongly linked together. I'm not sure there is a miracle cure for the depression except to stumble across a med that works. Finding the right med can be a time consuming, painful process. In most cases the docs can find something that alleviates the disease. Try to be patient and work closely with your doctors. If a medication doesn't seem to help with the depression after 6 - 8 weeks, tell your doctor that you want to try a different med.
Try not go give up. If you do carry through with suicide, your family and friends will be devastated. I know this because my brother committed suicide at age 21. My family was torn apart and we are not the same people that we were before his death. Try to gut it out, rely on friends and family to get you through, and keep trying meds. You may not feel like it now, but you can live a fairly happy and productive life.
I, despite a lifetime of fighting depression, have an awesome wife and son. I've also managed to find a good job. Life can be happy for you.
Take care and tell me how you're doing.
My depression started when I was about 9 years old, and now I'm in my 40s. There were definitely times that were good and times that were bad. I'm just climbing out of a horrible low point right now. The medication I started two weeks ago was Remeron, which is only a good choice if you need to gain weight like I did. I've gained 4-5 lb in two weeks. It was due to gallbladder problems that I lost my appetite and lost so much weight.
I used to have a lot of pain, but I'm happy to say I am in control of it now. I take calcium and vitamin D supplements in addition to a multivitamin with minerals. I took relaxation therapy with biofeedback - very helpful! I exercise. I use MiraLax every day so that constipation doesn't wear me out. I changed jobs from a sedentary one to an active one. I refuse to hold tension in my face. It's like free Botox to learn to be aware of what your facial and jaw muscles are doing and get them to relax. I wear sunglasses when the sun is bright. I work outdoors with people who mostly like their jobs and make me laugh and feel happy. I have friends who point out characteristics about me that they appreciate and enjoy. I do the same for them. I'm still using one inadvisable coping mechanism to add excitement to life, but other than that, I think I'm on the right track after wishing I'd never been born not so very long ago.
I have been dealing with depression since 8-9 years old. I didint realize it until 5 years ago when I could not function anymore and needed to do something. I started taking Prozac and had to increase the dosage 6 times...I started feeling better and then over the next 4 years slowly deacreased it to the minimum dosage. This worked for a while but now I have slipped back ...I think partially due to the lower dosage and partially due to a sense of cocky-ness that it was gone and I could again worry obsessively over things that didn't neet to be worried about.
Ask yourslef "Have I ever felt really good or at least confortable and generally happy?" if the answer is yes (even if you can't rememeber what it feels like) you then know that you can feel that way again. Don't give up...never give up.
I realize that this post is old, but I wanted to remind you that I wrote you a PM one time to tell you of a new advance in medicine to treat resistent depression. It's a vagus nerve stimulator. It was on the Discovery Health Channel.
I guess you have not talked to your doctor about it. The man in the story had been depressed all of his life and could not be helped with any medications. He found new life and new happiness with the vagus nerve stimulator that he had implanted.
I think you need to talk to your doctor about it. It's better than going through a life of depression and never being helped. I beg you to find out more information on this. Wouldn't it be a miracle if this device helped you and you actually felt normal again?
Reach out Shar and find out more about this medical breakthrough for paitents with untreatable depression. I really feel that someone like you could be helped by this advance. Please listen to me...don't put it off another day. Life is too precious.
All the Best,
From the MS Forum
That type of treatment is only used if every other option has been tried and failed. It's still in the experimental phase. I know in Canada that is the case, and very hard to get in the US. Remeron is only one of a multitude of meds out there to treat depression. I would give it more of a chance. :)
I forgot to mention there are drugs out that are not in the anti-depressant categories that work fabulously, I'm on lamactil, and it's worked better by far then any AD that I've been on. It was orignally introduced as an anti-seizure, I've gone from just getting by, to actually enjoying life, I still have rough days, but the good ones by far outweigh the dep. times. The next option is ECT, which is much much safer then it used to be.