I am posting this question here because I don't want to talk about this with my therapist. I have a stuffed tiger, that I have had since I was two. I am now almost twenty-one years old. This tiger has been my constant companion, through getting bullied at school (by peers and by teachers), through depression and through coping with moving to a new city for college. I know I need him and would probably have some sort of emotional breakdown if I lost him.
However, this is what has been concerning me recently: I talk to him. I talk FOR him and make him talk back to me. I do this in front of friends, more for comedic effect than anything, but I also do this when I am on my own. And I think that at some level I have really started to see him as alive, with a voice and a personality.
My friends always say that when I am mucking about, talking for him and making him say funny things so as to entertain them, they somehow believe that he is actually talking, and he does seem to come alive, even to them. So maybe I have gotten so attached to him and spent so much time animating him that I can make him appear to be a living thing.
I am very happy in my life, though I do still battle with manic depression sometimes. I have a lot of incredibly close friends and family, and I am very pleased with my social life, and very, very happy with my boyfriend, but sometimes I still feel alone and unwanted. I wonder if my tiger is a means of coping with that loneliness. I mean, I can be surrounded by a number of wonderful people and still feel alone. So maybe my tiger has a way of making me feel loved even when other people, who I know love me, can't do the same.
I would love to hear some thoughts on this. Thank you.