Avatar universal

Voice in my head

I have a voice in my head

It tells me:

I'm worthless
Dead to the world
A failure
A burden
A poor excuse for a gf/daughter/sister etc
Everything is my fault
I should kill myself
I don't deserve happiness, or I'll get it if I do...so and so
I should hurt myself
I should punish myself
Nobody likes me
Everyone thinks bad of me
Everyone is judging me
If I don't do things it says then the big black cloud will get me, kill me, swallow me up and take over my body and ruin my life
I should do bad things
I should hide myself in case I am recognised as then no-one will find me
I shouldn't go outside
People are following me
I shouldn't talk, people will take me away or think bad of me or conspire against me
Nobody loves me, people pretend to get things from me or they're under cover trying to get me 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'
Everyone will leave me
I can't trust people, everyone is out to get me
There is always someone trying to get into the house and attack me
Someone I love is possessed by the black cloud and so I can't trust them...it's not really them they are possessed
Threatens me with bees which it will release into my head if I don't do a certain thing and they will sting my brain and kill me slowly
Tells me that if I don't do what it wants bad things will happen to my friends and family
It's always watching me and checking on me
It leads a team of evil things that could come and get me as they are all possessed i.e. policemen, teachers, strangers in the street. I'm always jumpy or think anyone behind me is following me and so walk really fast. I can't walk on the same side of the road as someone who looks scary/dodgy and avoid walking near anyone else at all.

The voice in my head shows me flashes of what it wants...tries to manipulate and control me 247 e.g. shows me a lot of blood , if I look anywhere it changes the image to something horrible, e.g. a someone watching me behind it about to jump out and get me, a lake = a dead body...and example of what I could be if I don't do what it asks or... An image of me dead in the lake and flashes of me walking into it and letting myself die as I'll look beautiful and that's what I should do. a nail clipper = cutting up my flesh with it and blood everywhere.

This is controlling my life and I keep seeing things everywhere no-one else sees and then they disappear and I am SO paranoid someone is trying to get me.I am always running and being distracted in public talks or just even when I am with my friends and I go against people I love thinking they are possessed
2 Responses
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4851940 tn?1515694593
Make an urgent appointment to see your doctor.  It is highly likely that you are suffering from clinical depression, a stress and anxiety disorder and you require urgent help.

It is very difficult to feel that you can get better when you feel so low.  You are looking at things from the wrong angle.  

Your doctor will be able to help you with medication and/or counselling.  I feel that counselling will be able to help you.  The type of counselling that I feel may help you is cognitive therapy.  There are different forms of counselling, so if one does not help, the doctor can refer you for a different type.

For every negative thought, think of a positive one.  

You say you are worthless, but I am sure that you have achieved some merit somewhere.  Passed an exam, completed a project.  Washed your hair, made something to eat - that can be an achievement, when you feel so low.

Don't drink any alcohol or take any drugs, this will mess your head.

You have recognised that you have a problem, and this is the first step to getting the help that you require to get well.

Make an urgent appointment to see your doctor.
Take someone with you, like a parent or your boyfriend if this helps.
Helpful - 0
6726276 tn?1421126668
Great advice Jemma. I'll just add it helps if you take your notebook in with you to your Dr appt. sometimes it can feel confusing when you're at the Dr and it helps to have your book along. Record what you're going thru. Questions you have about medication and like Jemma said if you can get a specialist to teach you the useful tools in CBT.
You deserve to be happy. We care. Maxy
Helpful - 0
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