I am so sorry, and think "why" is the question we all ask during times like this. I don't know why things were withheld, or why you weren't allowed to see him, seems very cruel to me. But now you need to think of the wonderful life the two of you shared, and know that he knows how much you love and miss him. I found journaling my feelings and emotions helped a lot, even writing letters to him will help. He will hear the words you write. Doing this is very therapeutic for us during a difficult time like this, it's a form of release. You should also look into therapy to learn coping skills for a loss like this. Google support groups in your area and meet other women who have lost their husbands. You have to carry on and he will live on in you. Be grateful for the time you had with him, and why it ended like it did nobody knows. Just take it one day at a time. It will get better, I'm not sure how or why, just that it does. He would want you to live your life and be happy. But take the time to mourn, don't try to pretend you're not hurting. You will survive this, and let the love you two shared carry you through this life. Big hugs to you and take care.
You have normal feelings. It is totally understandable to feel like this and the only way through it is to go through and get counseling if needed. It will take you two years to feel close to normal. Time helps and you still have your life, to make the most of, good luck
Thank you for all you're inputs------and you hit it right on the head finsright!! I KNOW Exactly how you feel because I feel the same way!!
Thank you and Please add me as a friend--all of you----maybe we can help each other!!
Maybe well can find a way to get pass the pain together