Hi, sorry this will be long
so i know for a matter of a fact that im not hallucinating when i do this, or maybe i am, not to sure. i am young i guess, im 13 (Australia) and i have a few issues like austism and anxiety (possibly generalized). Ive had my problem from a few years, i think since i got melatonin cause i was a young insomniac (so like 7-9yro) so a while.
Let me actually get into my problem...
So i talk to myself, a lot, and i cant help it, i just cant stop. i have to tell myself to stop talking aloud and to at least whisper because i should be asleep (again, still an insomniac). i can think inside my head instead of talking aloud but it never lasts for long unless im at school, i go straight back to talking. i do it just about 24/7, its not like i dont have anyone to talk to but i just dont really remember a time where i didnt do this. when i talk to my self, i half talk in 3rd person, i look at a wall feature in my room and act theres a camera there or something (usually i think of an item watching me) and i'll just look and talk like im a you tuber (i dont even want to be one), and if i do it for to long sometimes i'll even think/talk about people i hate and imagine a scene where i would be a victim to them and i'd get back at them by yelling and hitting them. now maybe im a loner but i have plenty of friends to talk to but i cant be myself around them so it makes it worse, i get home and just about straight away im like "im gonna watch some anime, i think i'll watch food wars this time... hopefully i didnt miss an episode this time haha.." and then i'll tanget on about something simmilar like "my mum made something like that, didnt taste good- that reminds me of the time i ate gnoki- ewww..." you know? i find it really hard to stop sometimes. i tried telling my dad once (hes a funny guy) and he took it as a joke.
it usually starts as a thought. recently i havent been at school so its been even worse, and when i try to do the depression tests and stuff i get even more distracted and when i get the results i go on even more.
somebody help, this is a cry for help, or it will be in about a year if i survive
im not to sure what i should write about rip.