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Why do I feel as if I wasn't meant to be born? What should I do?

I feel like if I have nobody to talk to. I have had near death experiences and my mother told me that if it was her choice before she got pregnant of me, I wouldn't be born. I have a brother who died in my mother's stomach (I wish I could have met him). As a child I fell down the stairs and hit my head and my mom told me I wasn't breathing. Now, I don't feel comfortable about myself. I always feel like i'm never good enough for anything. Is this a sign of depression? I feel lost with nobody to talk to. I don't trust my mom, I don't have a good relationship with my father, and I feel scared to talk to my older brother because even though we have gotten closer, I feel as if he is going to judge me and won't understand. I have many many trust issues with people because I learned even if you talk to people, nobody in this world is your true friend. Sorry for throwing a portion of my problems out there. What should I do? Should I go see a doctor? How do I relieve my stress?
2 Responses
8405084 tn?1397972474
Lots of times I have felt like I wasn't meant to be born. So I definitely know what you mean when you say this. Sometimes I still feel this way but I try to fight my depression. I know that sometimes it helps to talk to someone. Usually I talk to my best friend or boyfriend. And I used to have a counsler. I also used to cut, and I know that it is very unhealthy. If you need to talk, you can talk to me. I understand how you feel and can try to help
Avatar universal
It doesn't sound like depression but low self-esteem and feelings of rejection. I doubt you need a doctor at this time but a therapist could be of help to you.
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