Hello -
Some background...Im a 35yr old woman who's been on/off Zoloft since 2004. I was first prescribed it for depression (dosage peaked at 100mg). Took it for a year in conjunction w/going to therapy and weaned off in mid 2005 w/no issue.
Later in 2005 I started to experience intense anxiety/panic on my train commute to/from work - typically when the train would be very crowded or when it would stop on the tracks underground or above ground. Since I couldnt avoid work, I talked to my doctor who said to get back on Zoloft (50 mg this time). As expected, when I got back on Zoloft the panic/anxiety subsided during those commuting conditions (but never completely went away - just more under control).
I never had problems while on it. No side effects whatsoever. And while I was on it I never felt "numb" or "emotionless" like people have described. I guess just better in control of my emotions and very even keel.
Last fall I started to think about getting off it. Seemed silly to take it just for antcipatory anxiety on the train ride. And it wasnt totally helping anymore (some panic symptoms would happen when the train would have issues - but I'd just deal w/the symptoms). I started to take it every other day for about a week or two then over my holiday break from work I just stopped cold turkey,
I never experienced any of the head zapping or other common widthdrawal symptoms I've read about. In fact I was fine for a couple weeks. No negative symptoms at all.
But I've been off it completely for a month now and last week I started to notice changes in my attitude, behavior, etc... Im WAY more irritable than I was on it. Negative, agitated, short fuse, etc.. (granted in general Im not a "positve" person and people in general do annoy me :-) but this is amped up. I feel more emotional in general - like a roller coaster. I'm lashing out at my pets when they misbehave. Like yelling. I'm getting pissy w/people at work. General work **** is REALLY making me angry. And I find myself crying very easily during movies or songs that arent even necessarily "sad".
Also I'm gaining weight being off it. I started exercising the day I stopped taking it (preparing for a triathalon later this year) and Ive been consistently hitting the gym and walking alot and I feel I'm getting heavier/pudgier despite the increased activity.
Are these symptoms normal? Mood changes? Weight gain?
I was online searching for information and found this place. Then I just lashed out at my cat for doing something not so bad - but my reaction scared me and I felt compelled to post.
I don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I should just say "screw it" and get back on it. Maybe just take 25mg for the rest of my life. Like whats the harm right? People take daily drugs for all sorts of things (I do for my allergies)
But the rational part of me doesn't want to be tied to a drug for the next 40 years.
Does anyone have advice or thoughts on when these emotions will end (or will they)?
Thank you for reading.