It's definitely been a rough ride, but I've been feeling much better than I did during the summer. The summer was a very dangerous time, I came close to ending my life multiple times. But I can at least confidently say now that I have no desire to end my life.
Of course, I'm still feeling pretty crummy physically which I think is a result of the zoloft. But there's significantly less panic. Hopefully I'll be able to go back to school soon.
I don't sleep well either, but if it gets too bad I take a herbal tablet to help me sleep, otherwise I manage. I don't have to work, so it is more difficult if you have to work, so I do hope the tablets help you sleep. Like you I don't like taking medication, but sometimes we just have to help ourselves.
I am pleased you have a kind and understanding doctor. He obviously is doing the best for you. Are you finding the Zoloft is helping with your depression?
Keep in touch.