Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

can anyone tell me ,

hi can anyone tell me if  they  were working, with having to deal with depression at  the same time ,i have been of work a year now and im still not doing to good at times ,but there are  days when i do feel good  could work   ,but this could all change so quick then ,i just want to know if i would be safe in myself if i went back ,because i am a self harmer  to and when i was in work last year i used to hurt myself nobody in work new about this ,but i thought i would really hurt myself bad when my depression got worse , i work in labs and things are poison in it ,sometimes i feel that people just might think i am ok now and i should be back in work ,now nobody has ever said anything to me .this is what i feel in me ,thank you if you reply ,bell,
12 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
449672 tn?1398394807
I don't blame you.........I would stay home and not work.....if your finances allow it...Kevin loves mama being at home,I am sure about that! Maybe later on...you might decide to work...there's always part time......That way..it would be a win win situation...you would be able to get out of the house some,see friends, and also be home for Kevin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yes i have a son 11, and a daughter she is 27 ,big gap in there liefs now ,.....it is very hard for us all .i really don't want to leave my son and go back to work ,......he is more important to me than .any of my friends at work ,take  care and mind yourself ,.....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Man, so tragic. You must be a very strong person. I have a child and if something ever happend to her, I really don't think I could make it.

Some people think they have it hard. They should read your story.

Do you have any other children?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
its ok i will tell you .only with my son his was 24 years old ,....he had been on drugs for quiet s wile ,he got so depressed on them ,we did every thing for him .right up to the point were he had come off them 2 years before he died ,......he tyred to take his life 8 months before ,.......but he didnt quit do it right ,......he did the second  time round ,.......we had to watch him all the time ,and i was so worred about him .one night we all went out for a drink it was my sisters birthday ,.........he was doing good and in really good humor that day ,so he came with us ,......i knew as i thought, not to be so worred about him that night because he was haveing such a great time ,i went to bed that night so happy and a night off from worrying .the next day myself and his dad found him hanging in his room ,he took his life wile we all slept ,....................my daughter on the other hand ,we did not get any warning signs .she was a little angel ,....17 years old and took her life 3 and a half years after my son .she hid her depression from us she was still in school ,....no drugs involved .,......she missed her brother so much she wanted to be with him ,and thats what she said in a lovely letter she left to us ,...............i miss them so much that sometimes i feel like i just want to die myself ,..she told one of her friends she was going to take her life ,but her friend never told us .my daughter told her if she told us she would never speak to her again ,......but what her friend never realized was she is not here to speak with her now ,...............we went away for a wile to take my young son out of it ,just to give him a break from grieving after his brother ,.....my daughter wouldn't come with us .you know when your 17 they think im not a little girl now ,and she didnt come ,we were away for 2 weeks and hours before we had to fly home ,she hung herself .i am devastated and have lot going on with me ,..but i still can go to work ,,.i have been back and fort  to work .but i really don't think i can do it again .so you dont worry im am big enough to make up my own mind .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh my God bell, 2 children to suicide?

I am so sorry to hear that. Were there any warning signs prior to this event?

I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable talking about it.

I feel petty even talking about my depression after hearing that.

Are you doing ok now?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
no ,no,dont worry you are not responsible for me not going back to work ,lol, i was thinking out every thing you have said before i posted my question ,its just i have been of work a few times ,part of me feels i should go back and part of me feels i shouldn't ,i cant fight it with only half of me , as youve said its harder to work with depression ,i know what you also mean about your meds making you feel better ,but that doesn't last and you have to get your meds looked into again ive also lost my two children to suicide in the last 6 years and that gets me down so much ,so dont you at all worry  about what youve said ,all you said was ,what i was thinking all along so  thanks again ,an i just say i feel for you having to work in the way you must feel sometimes ,i know just how hard it is for you ,and i wish i could help you ,god bless bell. oh and i know its not all bad ,but its not good either ,i used to go out at 430 am in my car to work ,and i was so tired from not sleeping from the night before ,that i never should have been driving ,and that was Evin before i would start my job,
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh no, now I feel responsible for you not going back to work.

I just don't want to sugar coat anything. I mean you know how horrible this condition can be sometimes so you understand what I mean about dealing with it at the work place.

It's not all bad, sometimes I actually enjoy working. It's just when I get bad...Well you know. It's hard to be productive with it sometimes.

Several times in my life I have been lucky enough to hit on a combination of medications that work so well that I actually feel "Normal." for several months. I always know when I hit the right medication because after several weeks taking it I will feel like a Mental Fever has lifted. For me the feeling of "normalcy" without my symptoms is like Heaven on earth.

When this happens everything just seems to Gel. I would give my right leg to be free of this condition. I mean that litteraly, that's how much I hate it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
can i just say thank you all so much for your replies ,can i just say to hensley 258, that you have made  so much sense of it for me ,i dont have to work ,i have a husband that works ,and we are not to bad off ,i just miss my friends at work ,i have been off  for a year now with this depression ,i am on meds and i go to a thearpist once a week ,but i dont want to have to fight  as hard as youve just pointed out  i would not have the energy for that , just to stay in work and with my friends ,i have all the symptoms you spoke about ,and i dont think i could go back after listen to what you've just said ,all  of  what youve said  was allready what ive been thinking all along ,i just needed to here it from someone else  and now you've answered my question ,so thank you so much ,
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Don't ask me exactly how, but I have been able to keep working with my severe depression. I have lost two jobs in the last 16 years as a direct result of this condition simply because when it's really bad my consentration and productivity drop. This can and does often hinder my overall performance at work.

What is most difficult for me is the fact that my depression is so severe that it causes me many very bizzar and scary symptoms such as Vertigo, heavyness, massive fatuge and sleepiness, along with intense feelings of doom and dread that are VERY powerful.
It literaly ***** the life energy from the core of my being. To say it is uncomfortible would be a huge understatement. This all effects my level of consentration to the degree that I sometime can not even keep a task or thought in my head.

Medication has been able to keep enough of my severe symptoms at bay so that I can function in the work place, but it is always a huge difficulty. I often have to fake my way thru the workday. I have gotten pretty good at hiding the direct signs of my condition while at work. It's not easy to do.

I look at it this way: I know with this disease that I am going to feel like garbage some of the time anyway, no matter if it's at home or at work. So I fugure at least if I feel like total **** at work then I am still making money to survive.

Trust me, it is not easy. In fact it takes everything I have just to survive at work on a minute by minute basis.

Perhaps I am able to do this simply because I have no choice. I have no other support systems in my life and if I do not work then I will literaly have no place to live and nothing to eat. I absolutly refuse to get on anykind of medical dissability because disability benifits don't pay enough to survive.

That's how I manage to do it.

My best advice if you are to continue working is to just accept your condition, and dig really deep to keep going. To do it you will have to be 10 times stronger than anyone else you know because it takes a strong person to survive this disease. I figure you have lived with depression this long so you must be a strong person or else you would not still be here.

It's hard to work full time when just doing the simple act of taking a shower seems like am overwhelming task. It can be done, I am living proof of that.

Tips:
(1.) Try to get yourself on a regular sleep cycle. (I know this is hard but it must be done)
(2.) Keep up your appointments with your P-Doc. (If you can hit on the right medication it can help A LOT)
(3.) If cronic fatuge is also a symptom of your depression then get a B-12 shot once a month. (This helps with the fatuge part of my symptoms and it really works)
(4.) try not to plan too far ahead. (as depressed individuals we do not have the luxury of planning out our life months in advance. To do so will only cause more anxiety and worse depression.)
(5.) Try to bite off life in little chuncks. One thing at a time with baby steps. When one task is complete, then AND ONLY THEN is it ok to take another bite.
(6.) stay informed about any new treatments or medications that may be of benifit to you.
(I often hear depressed people saying "I have tried everything and nothing has worked."
That can never be true because there is not enough time in a lifetime to have tried "everything."

I was about to give up when after many years of treatment, SSRI and SNRI medication stopped working for me. There are alternatives like Tri-Cyclics, Tetra-cyclics, MAO inhibitors. In fact there is even a new form of safe MAO in a patch form that is very effective.

Just be prepaired to take off the gloves, because you will need to hit this diease from EVERY angle to knock it down. With this Disease I always say; WHATEVER WORKS.

This condition can often feel like a fate worse than death. Therfore you must fight it with every tool at your disposal. No drugs and no treatment should be off limits because life is way too short to let this beast rule your life. You can't ever kill it, but you can cut it's claws off if you work at it and keep an open mind about medications.



Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have had depression for a number of years and it was "hidden" due to my addiction to speed.  Five years ago I finally got off it for good, that's when I noticed just how sad I was.  I no longer looked forward to vacations, going out, nothing.  My daughter turned 16 this year and, combined with her current attitudes, has made me think about suicide many times.  I finally told my husband and I started seeing a phyciatrist (spelling?)  He started me on Cymbalta and I started seeing a therapist.  Believe it or not, this has helped me very much!  If you can, try and see a therapist who will also reccoment a phyciatrist to get medication.  It could be a life saver.  I haven't felt like killing myself for the last 3 months.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yes  my family ,but they dont really know what to say ,because they  dont suffer with depression and cant give me an answer ,i just thought  someone  that has depression might be able to anwser or give me some idea if its allright wile haveing depression can work ,
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have you talked to someone about this? Like a friend or family member to help you through what you are feeling? I would suggest this for the first step.
LLF
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Depression Community

Top Mood Disorders Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.