I have to put out there that I am NOT a doctor and anything I tell you is only my opinion and from what I have experienced/self taught myself. Advice or information I give you COULD be right, but you should only follow a doctors advice.
I have some good news, people are not crazy if they know they are crazy. You can fool yourself (the mind is STRONG) into thinking you have different issues or illnesses, what you cannot do, is literally create them. You are not delusional, at least no where in the sense people like to use. If you don't have hallucinations, if you don't hear things OUTSIDE your head that are not there, and if you can tell the difference between yourself and everything that is not you, you can be just fine.
Here is how it works, you write down physical and mental issues/illnesses that you think you have. The family doctor does scientific tests that are usually about 99.9% correct. When you find out that you have nothing physically (which would affect the mentally) wrong with you. You will know that because of a couple understandable fears gone wild, and because of stress, you caused this and you now have the power to end it.
I am not trying to be brutal or mean here, but I want you to know, if you have something physically wrong with you (which is also what would affect your mind), you have to face it. There are a few reasons why. The first, is the faster you catch a problem, the more of a chance you have to fix it. The second is because by not facing it, your mental health will only get worse, ONLY because you will still have things you are concerned and even frightened of and if you never get that test result back from the doctor saying you are actually healthy, how can it end? I am not saying that if your not seen by a doctor, you have no chance, I am saying that you have a chance at conquering your demons. The third thing is, no matter how bad you have created your possible reality, once you understand and see for yourself that you are healthy, you can go on to lead a happy and healthy life. You have to face it, accept it, and destroy it, why? because you can.
For the record, IF, and I am thinking of my problems I thought I had but didn't, IF, you actually have something wrong with you physically/chemically, it's not the end. There is thearapy (how I healed, not that I am perfect, but a LOT better than when I was younger), natural medication, synthetic medication, and common DancingJean look at our technology. You are lucky to be born in a time that IF, something was wrong, the odds are in your favor completely.
I am NOT telling you not to take the medication you will be getting, always listen to the person who has their time invested and degree in hand. I would like to suggest (and it is just a suggestion, not something you should do) to talk to the doctor and ask if therapy before medication is a possibility. If a doctor says you are better off with medication, that's who you trust, I just think that maybe the doctor after giving his professional diagnosis might think therapy is a good idea, and just maybe, after giving his professional diagnosis, you might not need medication in the first place. These are all personal opinions and not to be taken over professional health experts.
If a mental health professional has yet to diagnose you with schizophrenia, then hopefully, it means that you do not suffer from schizophrenia. From what you've written, it doesn't sound like you suffer from delusions either. I think you're just confused and scared and don't quite understand what is going on with yourself so you jump to the worst case scenario. I think you've convinced yourself that you have schizophrenia because you want to have a valid reason as to why you've been feeling the way you've been feeling. Since the psychiatrist left your diagnosis as a NOS, it's causing you to let your imagination run wild. As for your lack of concentration and motivation and numbness (anhedonia), it could just be symptoms of anxiety and depression. My advice to you- leave the diagnosing to the professionals.
You know, I would like to point something out. It's odd how these replies came to be. I actually remember someone saying almost the exact same thing to me as you did to dancing. I didn't take it the way you meant it though. I thought the person was being cruel. I understand now what they meant, and what you mean, it's just odd how depending on the person, the best advice can sound like the most uncaring.
This is no offense to you, I agree completely with what you are saying and I think you are a caring person.........just thought it was odd I got the deja-vu after all these years and now understand what was meant.
I'm glad you found insight into what I was saying. I think it is very understandable for people to incorrectly interpret electronic messages. I mean, you don't have access to voice tone, facial expressions, and other pertinent cues needed for effective communication. Sometimes, I think I don't take the time to clearly explain my point so I come off as callous and insensitive. I would like to further elucidate on what I meant when I said to leave the diagnosing to the professionals. I think it's unwise for anyone to diagnose themselves with anything bc (1) you don't have the appropriate knowledge, training, and skills to do so, (2) self-diagnosing can be anxiety inducing. I mean, you can stress yourself and throw yourself into an anxious frenzy for no reason. If a physician and or/ mental health professional has not given any indication of what you've diagnosed yourself with, then don't stress yourself over it. It just means you're creating unnecessary worry.