depression? not sure..greif?

[Neeky0705]

Well....there are many problems I am having...so it was hard to chose a topic. First of all, my dad died in January 2009. Although I am sad about it, I dont seem to be facing the issue. I tend to push it away whenever i think about it. But I am having alot of trouble sleeping. Just lay there in bed....so restless. Also, I have this problem where I pick my scalp like...compuslively. Not sure what that means exactly. but i cant stop. Sometimes i feel sad for seemingly no reason at all. jjust in a sad mood for ntohing. recently i had been expirimenting with alcohol and drugs. oh im 15 by the way. Once I tried to commit suicide, i took like 25 pills...but then i threw up and went to bed. I dont know what this all means. My mom has been telling me I should see a counslor, but I dont want to at all. Help?

[mammo]

I totally agree.  You can't pretend that you haven't lost your dad, because it will come back and with a vengeance.  You're so young with a lifetime ahead of you, so please get help.  Pills and alcohol won't help, and they will put you on a slippery slope to a hellish place.  Your dad would not want this for you, he would want you to be happy and living a good life, and you deserve this.  Listen to your mom and get help so you can grieve the loss of your dad, and start feeling better.

[whodunnit]

Hi there,

You describe quite well the process of NOT grieving. I suspect that's the problem here in that losing your Dad at your age is a huge blow to you and you don't want to really know about it.

Proper grieving is the way for the himan body and brain to release the pent up emotions that can strangle you if you just keep squashing them. I did that, lost my Mum at 10 and didn't understand why I felt bad until I was 48. You don't need to wait that long. See a doc and ask to be fererred to a grief counsellor, a psychologist that helps you deal with the issue. There are also grief support groups where others may have lost someone less critical but still be grieving badly.

Please don't wait and don't avoid this. It truly will just keep building until you end up where I was. Nowhere. It's a damned long way back mate but at 15 it's something you can do readily with guidance.

Don't get me wrong, you will never forget him or the pain of losing him. But you'll be able to live with it and gradually it will move from the front of your mind to the back. But you do not forget him and he doesn't deserve to be forgotten.

Best thoughts mate.