Sounds like you are in deep depression and I would seek medical help with a psychiatrist if you don't already have one. I am sorry that you are suffering so much but your life has meaning at any age. You cannot do this alone. I think you are wrong when you say that they are waiting for you to die for your money and that you wish you were dead. That is your depression talking and your view on your life is skewed and your brain chemistry is so off that you are not able to make coherent, sensical thoughts. You are unable to. I know I get that way sometimes and I have a psychiatrist that adjusts my dosage and I begin to feel better and am able to enjoy life. I know that you can to enjoy life again. Don't give up on yourself and get help. I am here if you need to talk to me anytime because I have been there.
Wish you get better,
Im sorry u r dealing with this. Do u have anyone you can talk to like a pastor or a friend for support? If not go to a local church. Most pastors are certified councilors and will be glad to talk to you. I hope you can speak to someone and feel better soon. I know holidays are hard when loved ones are gone so I know how you feel. Good luck to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are having very physical symptoms to emotional problems and that is not uncommon. You didn't say how old you are. Reach out for help I know it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do right now but you have to try. You have a right to exsist on this planet like everyone else and you have a right to do it peacefully and happily. God Bless!
i have a soft heart for the oners that are close to me. this is bad. i have let them take over my life. i am tired of it. my deceased hubby had bought us a wicker set my daughter drug it out in the rain then said its no good and threw it away. that meant a lot to me. i get attachments to objects that give me happy memories. she is determined to throw all my happy away without asking me i miss something and says you didnt want that thing did you. i have some antiques they mean alot to me. but to her it is throw away junk. i love old things. maybe i am stupid . but i cannot take anymore. today after she threw away some more things i was so nervous i thought i was going to explode. i took one of each of my pills it did not do qnything. dont know what to do..... gloria789