I've been on effexor for five years, from 150 to 300 mg over this period of time. when the drug seemed to stop working,my dr. prescribed abilify... and then tryleptal 1800as a mood stabalizer. 8 months ago i developed muscle twitches that affected all parts of my body. i came off of abilify and the twitches continued. the next step was to get off of effexor which i have had little success in the past getting off of (even when i was pregnant, i couldn't go lower than 112.5). now i'm down to 25 mg, and the tryleptal is down to 1200 (i started having blurred vision too). i'm off of abilify but now i'm also on lexapro10 to help mitigate thte withdrawal from effexor. because of severe moods swings , irritability,hostility and anxiety, my doc also prescribed xanax .5, and most recently, b/c of obsessive thoughts about suicide, he prescribed serequel 50/100/ workng up to 150. today was my first day on 100, and i felt drunk for the first half of the day, even though i took the pill the previous night and slept for 12 hours since it knocks you out. the drunk feeling caused a severe panic attack while i was driving with my kids in teh car, which led to feelings of hopelessness, which incited the obsessive suicide thoughts again. let me be clear-- i do not want to kill myself. but i want this mental hell to end. i have moments of clarity, when i feel perfectly fine. but out of nowhere i'll begin to spiral.. and i fall hard. i don't know what's causing what.. is it the withdrawal from effexor? is it the original anxiety and depression that i had over five years ago? is my brain all messed up becuase of this insane cocktail of medicines? i need advice... please tell me what direction i should go in... will i ever get out of this mental hell?