help

[brad2009]

I feel real close to suiscide i have talked things out with everyone i know i have people who love me but it doesnt help. i have been going through a divorce for a year now. i get a little worse every day Therapy wont help. the only reason i havnt done it is because i have a 4yr old son i get every other weekend. i am a good father and want to be here for him but that is not enough to make the pain stop. I cant focus on anything other than what i have lost. I need help with this. my wife is on fluoxatine, and seems to be numb to everything a doctor put me on it i was suicidal within 2weeks. I tried it again a few months later same thing. I cant afford to go back to the doctor, i am in college and a custody battle so i cant check myself in somewhere. Is there something that can make my emotions less than they are? at this point side effedts of any drug are irrelavent as long as i live.

[Jaquta]

When you are hurt badly it can take a while.  Issues and emotions need to be worked through and resolved.
Sometimes in life there are important lessons we need to learn.  Sometimes we make the mistake of perceiving we have everything.  Sometimes it is only through loss that we learn and grow.
Nobody can prejudge what a doctor may or may not do.  If you are proactive about seeking help then it would seem less likely that a doctor would have you admitted involuntarily.
Depending on how a doctor evaluates your risk they may choose to have you admitted.  If you were to discuss your concerns about school and custody then I'm sure that is something that they would take into consideration.  Not all suicidal people are hospitalized.

If you were to kill yourself, which by the way I think is an incredibly stupid thing to do, then you lose access to school and your kid anyway.
I know getting help seems like an incredibly difficult thing to do but it has the potential to help you work through all your issues.  Others may have answers to your situation that you haven't thought of yourself.

The doctor on the mental health expert forum had some med recommendations for you.

I think you should talk to a doctor.  I think this is something that can be worked through without you losing things that are important to you.  Asking for help could be considered a strength and something to be admired.  Asking for help when it is needed makes you a good role model.

Just a thought but can you access counselling through college?  That could be another option.

[me236]

Brad, I've been there. 6 years ago my husband and I separated (his choice) and after many years, we just got a Legal Separation (I ran out of money, so I just agreed to whatever he wanted) just to get this over with. The only bright spot (like you) is my son. Many many days I felt like you. I even told my Dr's that my son is my only bright spot in my life. (And my pets.) I didn't want to leave them alone. I thought they needed me.I may add that 30 years ago, my brother committed suicide and I still hate him for that. I hate him for doing what he did to those left behind (especially my parents). My mother recently passed away, and I know she died with a broken heart. I know it's hard for us (who suffer depression, anxiety disorder, and other illness) to think outside ourselves--PLEASE continue to think of your child. Do you want your son to grow up without his father? It will change who he is; who he could become in life. HE NEEDS HIS DADDY!    As far as doctors, if your current doctor doesn't listen to you, find another Dr. I know it's not easy changing Dr's but it may give you hope. My Chiropractor knew my situation and recommended a Primary Dr, and he was the first Dr to ever listen and understand me. He was willing to work with different medications with me. Of course, nothing is 100% and I have to continue seeing him every 6-8 weeks, but just knowing SOMEONE cares and listens to you is some comfort. Good luck, Brad, please keep us posted. We don't even know you but love you!!

[jellyfishing]

For meds, try Pristiq (desvenlafaxinel), or ask your doctor. My mom takes medication, and they help her. For free counseling (depression and marriage), you could talk to a minister or priest at a local church.

[brad2009]

I lived a less than desirable life b4 i got married, changed completly, was dedicated, motivated, and became a better person in every way i betterde my life everyday for five years. went from having not a single dime to my name to owning two rental properties and my own home all from hard work and dedication, through manipulation and lies it has all been taken from me by the one that was always supposed to be there for me. she pretends to be here for me but doesnt seem to care that i feel so badly and refuses to help me feel better in any waynjust wants to make me look responsible for the seperation. Its been 14months how long does it take to get better  to get easier instead of harder every day? How can a person be better off when they had everything they ever wanted? if i tell a doctor i have the desire nto end my life will they have me locked uo? Can THEY? I would loose my school im in and would loose custody rights right away. those are all ihave left. all that is keeping me around, Got any med. recomendations?

[mammo]

There should be clinics in your area where you can get help at no cost.  Google "Mental Health Clinics in Springfield, MO"  Yes, you have to do something, and it was wrong for your doctor to put you on the same medication when there are so many others that may work better for you.  Your son does not deserve to lose his father, it may not be enough to stop the pain, but it is certainly enough to keep you fighting.  You're going thru a very difficult time, which will pass and you will feel better.  Don't allow this to take you down, fight for your son,  for your life and happiness.  Many of us have been through a divorce, and when the dust settles, we find ourselves to be better off.  Things happen for a reason and you must trust in this.  It's times like these when we find what we are made of, and I think you are strong enough to overcome this and move on. You will find happiness again, I can promise you this.  But also think of what you have to offer your son, that little boy who will always need his daddy.  Some day he may be faced with a difficult problem, and you need to be there to listen and advise him.  You'll have experience and will have much to offer him.  Find a clinic and be sure to tell them of your experience with the preious medication.  You can do this.  Take care...