help

[oldguy123]

hello this is my attempt at help...im 34 and have been miserable barely able to hang on...i talk noone listens I recently attempted to hang myself and messed up as it is i woke up on the floor only to wake up to a massive headache busted bloovessels in my eyes and a broken rope...not sure how or what happened but i didnt die...not to mention i threw up when i stood up...in my life ive seen all the the hell....death loss molestation mental emotional abuse. ive talked to counselors ive lost my kids ..ive been put in jail ...i have all the symptoms of something and i cant find help....im afraid for the first time that if death wont take me ...where does that leave me next time will be a gun/

[Life360_Dave]

Your a very intelligent person as did see your reply to a relationship question. So how can you make a positive out of a negative? I know you mentioned you experienced a lot of terrible things and if i told you what i went through youd be amazed how i kept going myself. When i was diagnosed with cancer 3 years back it took a lot of focus to keep my mind right. Bad things happen to keep us in check and in some ways helps us realize that life is a moment to moment experience. Being in the MMA you spent a lot of time striking other human beings and in some ways could have you feeling that life is callous and cold.
I took all the bad that happened to me and focused on being a financial success and there is no better feeling than jumping into my Corvette in the morning. Life can be a grand experience and society has a lot to offer those who have something to offer back.

[4Maddie44]

Why do you call yourself "old guy" when you are only 34?  I guess you feel old because all you have been through.

Oh dear, trying to hang yourself?  Seems you were not wanted in heaven yet.  I took an overdose once, and I was taken to hospital, and I survived.

I don't think you have slipped through the cracks, I just don't think you have found the right help for you.  

We are allowed to have a moan about our lives.  People here have all had depression.  Many have tried to take their own lives.  If you really feel there is no alternative for you, then so be it.  But I say don't let depression win.  Fight it.  Many of us have seen hell.  Look how many people come back and fight.  Many, many times I have said I can't go on, but you know, I do.  Time after time.  I have had depression for over 20 years, and I wouldn't say I was a particularly strong person, but I do fight so hard.  Anti-depressants have saved my life.

Please don't give up.  We are all here for you.  Keep posting.  You have friends who listen and who understand.  That means a great deal.

[oldguy123]

Im pretty much ouuta options lol...i reread my posts and i know they sound whatever..But Im tired ya know ..So I was looking for somewhere that would take me with no money and help me....i found this little site..ive spent all morning reading and reading lol...only to realize that for the most part ppl dont really unerstand how are or messed up things can really get. Im the guy i guess thats slipped through the cracks. Counselors family freinds none see anything ....Problem with counselors in the past has been how can i take advice from someone whos only read about life and not to mention normally in the end .its me giving them advice and they dont even realize it lol.Im not nore ever been considered a whiny guy hell my proffession for yrs was MMA ...so im tring something new i guess im just gunna come out and say bluntly hey im standing here everyone says theres help so here i am lol..thank you for writing back its definatly appreciated..

[Life360_Dave]

Hi Oldguy (34 is not old). All people experience things in life for a reason and it is our task to make sense out of them and find a way to make a negative positive. What you have been through has given you great insight to the human condition and somewhere through your experiences there is a wealth of knowledge waiting to lead you to a good place. Please continue to post as there are many people here that can help you understand.