hi, i am 18 and since i have been 13, my life has just been unbearable. i cry almost every night, every year i push away more people because to me it seems as if there really isn't someone out there that i can trust. i don't want to kill myself but it has crossed my mind and i have tried to fight it but i really don't know my purpose here on life. i feel used, useless, unhappy. how do i get over this?