i just need help

[smileastar]

i am pretty sure i am depressed ive felt this way before. When i was younger i couldn't sleep half of the time because all i thought about every night was death i was scared and i am not sure why. Now i am 18 Ive been thinking a lot about it again only now i am scared to leave the house this is a new thing. just the past few days Ive been thinking that if i leave im putting myself at a higher risk of dying i dont know why !. And i am in a relationship i know isnt healthy and i know he is part of the reason why i feel this way its just he has teared me down to nothing and now hes trying to treat me better but i cant let go of the past because i have no self confidence now. i have no one to talk and i want to go into the navy but i cant i am pretty sure if im diagnosed depressed so i cant  even get help. my heart is breaking and no one knows. if anyone knows of ways to rebuild confidence and deal with death please.

[4Maddie44]

Well I am old and near to death, but I know we all have to die.  You should not be thinking such thoughts at your age.  What brought this fear on?  Has something happened in your life to make you feel like this?   You have many years ahead of you, go out there and grab the world.  

First of all, you need to see a doctor.  Perhaps you are not depressed.  Perhaps you just lack self confidence.   You really need to talk to someone and find out if what you are feeling is depression or something else.  

Keep up your dream of joining the navy.  Please don't be negative.  Tell yourself you can do whatever you desire.

Sounds like the relationship you are in is bad for you, but you are frightened to let it go.  Have you family or close friends you can talk to?  Bottling things up will not help.  I am glad you are talking to us here.  You need to see that you are a good person but just lack self confidence.  Tell yourself you can do whatever you want.

[CRSeaside]

Your plan to go into the Navy... What happened?
  Everyone dies. If you believe in God, you will know it's when he calls us home. Not to be afraid.
   You are young. My advice- drop this boy. Get a girlfriend and do a sport like racket ball, tennis or rollerblading.
   I didn't marry until my late 30's. I'm a waterskier & wakeborder. Swim & walk 5 miles pr day. Took up art as a hobby & now I have an art studio.
   Sure I get bad days. If you have trouble, pamper yourself. Take a long bath w Epsom salts & perfume. Light a candle & meditate into the flame.
  Keep posting your progress.  Maxy